Sweeter As The Years Go By
“Sweeter as the years go by.” Theresa my wife of 14 years, and I were listening to some Gaither music. Her question out of the blue sent me to resonance school: “Ray, is that true of you? Are the years getting sweeter with Jesus as we are getting older?”
I felt pricked to the core because of my inner response, “H - - - no, I don’t feel the years are getting sweeter. Harder? Yes!”
Wow! This response from a guy who has walked intimately (I thought) with Jesus for 68 years; who has been on staff of Campus Crusade; who for most of those 68 years has read his Bible and prayed daily; who had been on the board of elders of a 4000 member Presbyterian church.
Yes. But what did all of this spiritual activity mean? Was I a fake - a fraud – a hypocrite? I don’t think so. I really wanted to be a godly man and spread that Gospel of Christ. The words “hell no” were not typical vocabulary words of mine…used mostly in the counseling office when I thought the client wasn’t being honest him himself. A sort of “prime the pump” experience, giving him a safe place to be honest with his buried anger.
The words “hell no,” are often a verbal expression or ;anger. If so, then who am I so mad at? Oh no. Is the counselor who has written a book on anger, have some repressed anger himself? I began some relational archeological digging. Using as my guide “the one you love the most can hurt you the worst, and at whom you can be the most angry.”
The one at whom we can be the most angry is our spouse; possibly even one of our own children; a boss at work or leader in church….or…God?
“God.” You say. “After all God has done for me? How can I be angry at Him? Besides giving
Jesus to die for me; to give me eternal life with Him; who empowers me to live above my circumstances on a daily basis., the Source of my courage to speak even when the stuttering is at times debilitating. You’ve got to be kidding. God – the source of my hope for the future. while living with the unpleasant disease called Parkinson’s?
Our next blog will demonstrate how I was angry at God and didn’t even realize it.