Pain Precursor to Ministry

How does a little girl, raised in a very loving, godly, hard-working Wyoming family become a woman of an unwanted divorce? Choices. Not always your own!

As Jane (not her real name) reminisced about her childhood the listener was captivated by the description of her parents. Church planters. Both hard working people. Lived on the “wrong side of the tracks” until a large, six-bedroom house was provided very economically for them. “My father’s response to the spacious gift was, ‘this is God’s house and will be used for His honor. All we have is God’s.’ When we were older and out of the home, we’d have to make an appointment with my folks if we wanted to stay over for a weekend because the bedrooms were always filled by needy people.”

On to Pasadena College, majoring in education. As a junior, married a sharp young man who was voted “song evangelist of the year” while in college. A career as a song evangelist took off along with a business acumen that acquired 16 child care centers in Detroit. But, as so often happens, success wasn’t handled very well. Money became his focus. Jane taught school while her husband became sidetracked by money and another woman. That led to legal problems, bankruptcy, prison and divorce.

“When he told me I didn’t fit into his plans anymore and continued his adultery, I felt released from the marriage. After making the decision to file for divorce, there were agonizing days of deep pain. I’d leave school and cry all the way home. My sons even said, ‘Mom, why did you do that to dad?’ Two wonderful Christian friends walked with me through the ordeal. I only made it through that time by keeping my focus on God.
“I vowed two things: that I was not going to be hurt by anyone’s words, and that I would forgive.”

Having lived the life of a single woman for 20 years, Jane looks back at how God used the painful trauma productively. “It helped me understand hurting people. I have an in depth rapport with those who have gone through significant rejection. Eighteen years ago we started Divorce Recovery. Since then, God has been able to use me in the lives of many people going through divorce. I want to share with people how they can come through their trauma triumphantly, not just survive.”
Jane’s four sons are following her Christian model and are productive followers of Jesus. She is currently singles pastor at her church providing great gain for multitudes of people, besides experiencing the gain for herself from being used by the Lord. Gain through loss.

Riches to Rags and Back

From riches to rags and back again.
Steve Garrison, a thriving real-estate developer in California was at the top of the market. He tells his story in David Jeremiah’s book, “Bend in the Road.”
We were invincible, building, selling and profiting. Then the recession hit us like a sledgehammer. Construction was at a standstill, buildings sat half-finished, just like our careers. Boom times were over. I was left with nine new commercial and industrial buildings on my hands. Assets were tied up in the properties, cash reserves vanished like water-mirages on a desert highway. We cashed in our IRAs to meet our financial obligations. The last employees were released and our doors shut for the last time.
I found employment as a commercial real estate consultant. That lasted 6 months and I was unemployed again. All this happening within a year. My faith was tested. I had trusted God with my life and my family and all my prospects. I knew I had to keep trusting and obeying, hard times or not.
But I found myself in a spiritual desert, arid and dry. I began to see my walk with Him had gradually eroded during years of fruitfulness. God began to show me hard truths about myself. Reputation, esteem of colleagues and my net worth and assets had become pagan idols. I had been critical and impatient with my employees. God was “lovingly beating me up.” These were difficult lessons to learn but I sat at His feel and listened to His Word. In the midst of the discipline, I came to love him more than I had in the past – much more.
But there was still my livelihood to worry about. I stayed on the lookout for opportunities to make a new start in business life. In time God led me to launch my own real-estate consulting business, which is successful and my work life is just where God wants it to be.
These years have built my faith like nothing else could have done. I’ve learned the incredible power of praising God in the midst of adversity. I’ve discovered how to step back and look at my life and concerns from an eternal perspective, and it’s been wonderful to find many anxieties simply fade away when I do that.

VIRGINIA TECH

From an Oriental friend who is a student at Virginia Tech comes this message:

After a very special week at VA Tech, I gave my thanks to GOD. If there is no God, how can people still have hope, how could people get through the difficult time? If there is no God, how could people to forgive and so nice to each other now? Here is no hate and angry, but the love from God. There are many priests and missionaries came to campus too. Now, everyone says: "we will prevail. We are Virginia Tech."

Classes resumed again on Monday and life seems back to normal, which is what the school wants. But many people are still dealing with fear. From Bible, I know if God would protect us, no one can hurt us. But I am still have kind of strong feeling of fear... Joy

My response to her included the following:
"I'm so sorry, Joy, for the trauma you have experienced because of the killings. I'm glad to hear that God's love and hope are permeating the campus. It would be normal for you to have fear but I believe the experience will heighten your dependency on God, ultimately turning a horrible situation to good for you and others who claim God as their provider. Psalm 91 comes to mind as I converse with you. You experienced that one day not long ago at Virginia Tech."

Would you continue to join me in prayer for the Virginia Tech community, that evil will be overcome and God’s miraculous power be demonstrated. That comfort and healing be their’s who have lost loved ones and friends.

I'd be glad to print stories you have heard about God's working through the trauma. Drop me a note at Rburwick@mindspring.com.

"Benefit" of Death

One of the best descriptions supporting this blogspot’s theme “gain through loss” comes from Os Hillman. Listen to what he has to say.

2 Corinthians 1:8-9 We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.

Have you ever gone through a very difficult time in your life? These times make us value life. They make us appreciate the simple things that we took for granted before the crisis. When we are restored from such a trial, it is as though we have been given a new beginning. We can place a greater value on what we had before and use it for His purposes. Perhaps for the first time we can identify with others who find themselves in a similar trial.

I recall having an attitude of superiority over those who went through a difficult financial crisis. Because I had never experienced any financial crisis in my life, this pride kept me from identifying with such people. Then the Lord brought such a trial into my life. I learned a great deal during that period. I learned that the world and even Christians often treat such people as lepers. Like me, they didn't know how to relate. Now, I appreciate the little things that I never would have valued without that trial. The experience taught me greater dependence and faith in the provision area of my relationship with God.

When God brings death to one area of life, he resurrects it in a new way. Death works in us to bring new life and new perspectives. These are designed to press us forward in ways that we never would have moved without the experience. God knows how much this is needed in our life to gain the prize He has reserved for each of us. It is His strategic mercy that motivates Him to bring such events into our life. Press into Him, learn of Him, and rely on Him.

Divorce: God as Husband

By looking at Carol sitting in her spacious office with children’s toys and apparatus spread throughout, you wouldn’t think she had a care in the world. This very successful children’s pastor, shepherds about 150 tots, birth through kindergarten and has taken numerous teens under her wings.

She relates her story: born fourth of four girls into a very loving, nurturing family that encouraged development of personal skills. Leadership roles abounded in girl scouts (20 years worth), church, class president of each of her high school years, band and on to a full ride scholarship at Pasadena College.

She met Jerry when both were freshmen. Married in their junior year.
“We had three boys and a girl. I taught school and Jerry became a workaholic, bent on becoming a millionaire. He evolved into a driven, domineering man who as time went on became very critical and controlling of me. I began to lose my identity. In a sense, Jerry assumed a god-role in my life. I became subservient and accepted that our problems were my fault.

“A mid-life crisis hit Jerry at the age of 50. I was no longer exciting enough for him and I didn’t make him happy any more. Another woman became his trophy. And though he has a five-generation pastoral heritage and had four wonderful and talented children, he chose to end our 28 years of marriage. I didn’t see it coming. I knew we had our challenges, but like the frog in a kettle of water, I didn’t recognize the heat being turned up. He wouldn’t get counseling. He just wanted out.

“I was devastated. Our children were traumatized – each acting out in unique and destructive ways that caused all of us more pain. I felt to blame!
“My church surrounded me and comforted me. Patti was an extremely wise counselor that walked with me through the scores of days of weeping. She helped me see I had reversed Jerry / God position. In trying to please Jerry, I had lost my identity. I had lost all that God wanted me to become. I let him rob me of me and of my position as God’s child. I was at the lowest point of my life.

“Though God used many people to walk through the trauma with me, a new and unique pattern developed. I would often cry out to God about my anger, my confusion, my loneliness, my children’s trauma. An intimacy with Him grew. He became my Husband, my Father. In Isaiah 54:5 God says, ‘He will be a husband to the abandoned wife.’ That is what He became. There was a defining moment when I felt God pick me up from my lowest point and tell me He’d be my partner. ‘You and me, Carol.’

The gain through the loss?
1. I’m not thankful for the divorce but I am thankful for how God has used it in my life. I’m a new creature. He has blessed me richly with His intimacy. He blesses through me to others. Praise the Lord.
2. I can be a model of God’s grace to my children and to those in my ministry.
3. Through the intense grief of two years duration, God began to consume me. He empowered me as I’ve never known before.
4. I’m a wiser pastor. I can talk with young parents who are having a rough time and challenge them to deepen intimacy with God first and then work on their marital kinks. I can tell them the significance of working for a strong marriage for the children’s sake.
5. I’m learning that forgiveness for the divorce is completed but it is an on going journey of listening and obedience with God calling the shots. Healing has taken place; however, there are the ongoing challenges of living in the same town with Jerry and his wife. It keeps me close to God and dependent on Him as I pray for God’s blessing on them.
“God, I’m not thankful for the evil of divorce, but I am grateful for how you have caused all this to work for my good and your glory.”
Carol G

Master's of Disasters

When we navigate troubled waters, God is the Master of not only the waves, but also the ship. He never abandons His plans or His people. He will see the voyage through to its final destination.
But we’re stubborn creatures who struggle to learn.

And we learn the least when the sun is shining and the winds are crisp and life feels good. Peace and prosperity have never provided effective classrooms. Crisis and catastrophe, on the other hand, offer master’s degrees. By the way, that accreditation gives you a degree entitled "Master's of Disaster."

The truth etches itself into your mind and heart when you find yourself forced into a one on one relationship of dependency upon God. It’s the school of hard knocks, to be certain, but there’s one momentous consolation: all the while, even while the bruises ache and the scars are fresh, He is still working all things together for our good and for His. It’s essential that we cling to His promise of continuous protection and growth. He is our only hope our only asset, our only possibility, and as we look into His eyes, we realize that from the very beginning life has always been like that. We just wouldn’t learn it, for we are stubborn creatures.

Our hope in our Master’s of Disaster study is found in Philippians 1:6, “Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” As a 68-year-old, I can look back at all the disasters that occurred in my life and see (hindsight is 20-20) how though the situation was unpleasant, God accomplished a good work of growth through it for me. My responsibility is to cooperate with Him – not wallow in self pity or with clenched fist raised shouting, “Why me, God?”

A current “disaster” can be examined through the grid of past experience engineering a response something like, “This is not comfortable, God, but I trust you. What do you want to teach me through this? How can I become a godlier person?

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him; so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
Adapted from David Jeremiah’s book, “A Bend In the Road.”

Meditation: Blameless

Psalm 84:11 intrigues me: For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless
No good thing will He withhold from those whose walk is blameless! What a promise. That is not a guarantee that only “good things” will come our way, because in numerous passages the Bible tells us that we will have adversity. However, for the “blameless” God will even use adversity to give us good things.

(Romans 5:3-5 states, We can rejoice too when we run into trials and problems because we know they are good for us. They help us learn to be patient and patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady. Then, when that happens, we are able to hold our heads high no matter what happens and know that all is well, for we know how dearly God loves us.)

“Blameless” is mentioned 55 times in the NIV, 11 times in Job and three times in Psalm 101. Space doesn’t allow me to extrapolate this in depth, however may I stimulate your desire to study this promise. Greek and Hebrew roots for the word “blameless” are: To be (make) clean, free, guiltless, innocent, unaccused, faultless.

WHO:
Noah, Abram and Job were described as blameless in Gen.6:9, 17:1 and Job 1:1

Blameless DESCRIBED:
Psalm 15: 2-5 He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken.
Other passages that describe “blameless” are Psa.19: 13-14, Psa. 119:1, Prov.11: 20, Eph.1: 4, Eph.5: 25, Titus 1: 6-, and Rev.14: 5.

MAN’S PART -2 Pet.3: 14 So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.

GOD’S PART -1 Cor.1: 8 He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Thes.3: 13 May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones.
1 Thes.5: 23 May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

RESULTS:
Psa.84: 11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless

Blessings to you as you study and put into shoe leather "blamelessness," reaping the rewards, experiencing "no good thing withheld."

From Loner to Helper

I had the privilege of chatting with Josh this morning, a 23-year-old completing his requirements for university graduation in a couple weeks. I was so impressed with his spiritual insights that I asked to interview him for this blog.
Josh classified himself as a loner in childhood. A drifter – drifting from one group to another, never feeling accepted. He had been born after his parents divorced. Raised with a step father. Neither parent was affectionate or supportive, never attending any of his sports competition. He labeled himself as an underachiever.
University life was a stretch. Finances were slim. Financing his way through school, he delivered newspapers during the wee hours of the morning. Friendships were nil. He studied hard and made the dean’s list first semester and achieved straight A’s his second semester – majoring in chemistry.

Depression began to hit him his sophomore year. Sleep was troubled. Grades slipped. He became cynical. Spending was out of control. Overdrawn at the bank. Bounced checks. People wanting their money made phone messages and mail delivery a dreaded experience. Concentration was limited. Tears would burst out spontaneously. Was always tired. Had to retake some of my classes. Drinking became an escape.

“My chemistry professor had an aroma of Christ about him. I wanted what he had and asked him if he would mentor me. I guess he could tell I wasn’t ready to make a commitment to growth in godliness so he told me ‘no.’

‘Then, I spent a summer in Reno, doing research. I was out of my NNU bubble. I lived with a group of students who did not share my Christian values. My heart broke for them and yet I was judgmental of them. I came home to be confronted by a friend who leveled me with my cynical, judgmental attitude. That was the turning point.
“I had become a Christian in high school. But now I really dug into Scripture and committed my life to knowing God and myself better. I saw legalism wasn’t the way. I just felt guilty by not keeping all the rules. I began to see that in Christ, I was loved by God. He ACCEPTED me. He wasn’t disappointed in me. I was a young man not only approved of by God but also empowered by the living Christ. I began to understand the exchanged life, ‘It is not I that lives but Christ who lives in me.’ What freedom.

“My working part time with developmentally disabled children took on new meaning. I had been fearful that I wouldn’t be able to model manliness for them because I hadn’t been modeled by a loving father. I saw how God being my Abba Papa, living through me could be a great model for the young people with whom I was working.

“Of late, I’m finding that my degree in chemistry which would entail working in research is not going to be as fulfilling as bringing freedom to a segment of society that tends to be looked down upon. I’m considering pursuing a master’s degree in social work. I really come alive, pouring my life into these children.
My life’s challenges have made me a more sensitive, caring person. I am a blessed young man.

Josh Benjamin

Possessions through Adversity

Whenever God brings you through a trial of great adversity, you can expect to come out of that experience with great possessions, if you have been faithful through the trial.

This is a universal truth. Wisdom comes not from knowledge but from obedience. When we have been tested and proven, the reality of our faith results in possessions from God that we would never receive if we had not gone through those trials. These are precious in His sight and should be valued greatly.
Those who know you will be amazed at the wisdom that comes from your mouth. It is one of those mysteries of the gospel that only those who experience incredible testing and hardship can explain.

Genesis 15:14 tells us, “But I will punish the nation they serve as slaves, and afterward the will come out with great possessions.” The people of Israel were enslaved 400 years, but when the time came to free them from the bondage of slavery, they came out with great possessions. These physical possessions symbolize the spiritual possessions we receive when we come out of being enslaved to those things that have hindered us all our lives. These possessions are to be shared with others so that they also can know how they might become free.

Question: has the adversity you and I have experienced caused us to be bitter or better? If better, are you and I sharing with others the great possessions we have garnered through our experiences with adversity?
Adapted from Os Hillman

When all hell is breaking loose

All hell may be breaking loose. Financial upheaval. A family in shambles. Tragic loss of a loved one. Over powering sickness or disease. Lost hope.
To the person walking in Christ-faith facing a life challenge, two inner voices can resound as described in 2 Corinthians 6:10, “Our hearts ache, yet we have the joy of the Lord.”
Our natural human response expresses its pain; but, underlying the pain is a deep trust in God that says as Job, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Oh, the joy and peace that grows within as we learn more and more about God’s grace and love for us. Our pain becomes gain as we see how God is allowing the trauma to build in us character qualities we wouldn’t experience without the situation.
(A counselor’s caution: a human response without a spiritual foundation can lead to great despair. Focus on the spiritual foundation and deny the human response and you get repression which leads to all sorts of physical/mental/emotional problems.)

“There is nothing, no circumstance, no trouble, no testing that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has come past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose.
“As I lift up my eyes to Him, and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing for my own heart, no sorrow will ever disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will ever cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the joy of what my Lord is.” Alan Redpath

My challenge. Your challenge. Spend time with God consistently, knowing Him through Scripture, like Matthew 7:11 that states, “You earthly fathers, being evil, love to give good gifts to your children, how much more your heavenly Father wants to give good gifts to you.”
“Abba PaPa, I’m not excited about the situation in which I find myself. It is painful. It is confusing. However, I know you love me and want the best for me so, by faith, I rejoice in what I’m experiencing – not the pain, not the process, but the product. You promise in Psalm 84:11 that ‘no good thing will you withhold from those who walk in obedience.’”

Even when all hell is breaking loose.

EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU JESUS?

A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago . They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night's dinner. In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly missed boarding.

ALL BUT ONE !!! He paused, took a deep breath, got in touch with his feelings, and experienced a twinge of compassion for the girl whose apple stand had been overturned. He told his buddies to go on without him, waved goodbye, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight. Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor.

He was glad he did. The 16 year old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, tears running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her, no one stopping and no one to care for her plight. The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display. As he did this, he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket.

When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, "Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?" She nodded through her tears. He continued on with, "I hope we didn't spoil your day too badly." As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, "Mister...." He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes. She continued, "Are you Jesus?"

He stopped in mid-stride, and he wondered. Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about in his soul: "Are you Jesus?"

Do people mistake you for Jesus?

Question: what must I change – where must I grow to become more like Jesus (Romans 8:29.) It has been said, “You may be the only Bible some people read.

source unknown

Stress Management

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
He continued,
"And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on.
"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while, even if you need to pick it up at all.

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply be kind to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Source unknown

Down, Peacock Feathers

A miserable marriage. A mentally ill wife. Divorce. Preaching credentials surrendered. Teenage son’s suicide. Remarriage. Re-marriage trauma. A change in denominations. Result? “Down, Peacock Feathers. Down.” I was knocked off my pedestal of visions of grandeur. (I had been told by a parishioner that I was the most arrogant young preacher she’d ever seen.)

The overconfidence didn’t last long as I began to experience some significant life trauma, beginning with a wife who was delusional and hallucinative. She had multiple court-ordered stays in psychiatric institutions with countless electric shock treatments. She’d level out, come home and refuse to take her medication. After much emotional abuse to our son and to myself, I felt the only way to resolve the situation was divorce. One result, my 12-year old son began to thrive.

Another result wasn’t so kind. My denomination didn’t take kindly to preachers getting a divorce. What a painful occurrence when I had to give up pastoring in the church in which I had grown up and loved dearly.

Then my 18-year-old son’s suicide! WE had adopted him at nine weeks of age. His biological mother and father at 16 years of age wanted to place Sam (not his real name) up for adoption. The grandparents fought them on it, so at a young age he was torn. His stress was expressed in grabbing his knees and rocking himself to sleep. This behavior stayed with him into teen age years. Besides the rocking, he was found putting on female under garments. We didn’t realize the extent of his emotional vulnerability.

A hurtful situation arose when he wanted to contact his biological mother. It began so productively. Contact was made. He felt accepted by her. She sent him a birthday present. But that was it. Nothing thereafter – no contact. Sam was devastated. His fragile ego was destroyed. I later talked to her and she said that she couldn’t see him any more because it would destroy her family.

He had moved out of the home as a senior in high school because he didn’t want to keep the rules of the house. He lived with a friend of ours, going to school and working two jobs. It looked as though he was doing well except for some social timidity. He had cooked a dinner for a girl that he liked. The dinner went well, but she didn’t want to see him again after that meal. The following day a call came at midnight, “Your son has shot himself in the head. He’s dead.” I can’t express sufficiently the emotional upheaval I experienced. The pain was overwhelming and I had no one with whom to share it. It nearly killed me. I bottled it up. It is painful recalling it now, 40 years later.

The final peacock feather was removed when my second wife and I went through severe relational trauma, since we both felt we played a part in the loss of our son. We’re doing well now.

What has been the gain through all this loss?
1. I’ve gone through severe breaking process. A breaking of pride, self-sufficiency, and the desire to have a big name denominationally.
2. I’m much more sensitive to hurting people as I pastor and counsel now.
3. I have a personal understanding of family problems that face me in the counseling office regularly.
4. I’m a wiser counselor/pastor.
5. My preaching is filled with God’s grace and not condemnation or judgment.
6. I know a depth of real life that most folks haven’t tasted and through it all I have a deeply grounded peace and victory.
Anonymous

A Day Well Lived

For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision;
But today, well lived,
Makes every yesterday
A dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Thomas D. Talmage

Yesterday has some nightmares.
Lord, heal my wounds,
Help me forgive those who were the cause,
And help me see benefits of the pain I have experienced.

Tomorrow may not have a vision
But Father, I commit the future to you
For Your care and guidance.

Today, well lived, in obedience to God
Brings peace, joy and contentment.
“May the God of hope fill you with all peace and joy as you trust in Him,
that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13
RB

A Bend in the Road

David Jeremiah, popular preacher and writer, tells of his “gain through loss” in his book: A Bend In The Road. He chronicles his encounter with lymphoma, labeling it a “disruptive moment.” His “Five Principles to Remember” are impressive and instructive.
1. Disruptive moments are often divine appointments. “Every trial we face, difficult as it may be, comes from the hand of God, who loves us and wants us to grow. This perspective will keep you from lashing out at God in despair. It will keep you from giving in to discouragement.” Jeremiah catalogues many scriptures depicting God working good through challenging times and closes principle one with a prayer. “God, You have allowed this in my life. I don’t understand it, but I know that it couldn’t have happened to me unless it was filtered through Your loving hands. So, this thing is from You.”
2. Progress without Pain Is Usually Not Possible. “Unless there is pain in the formula, we will never stop to listen carefully to what He is saying… We’re not making any progress at all toward the deeper things our Father longs to show us. Sometimes He must allow us to stumble along the everyday journey. We’re wounded and filled with pain, yet our disaster is just the opposite of what it seems; it’s the demonstration of God’s determinate to teach us and to make us wiser and stronger. It’s up to us to choose our response. It can make us bitter, or it can make us better.”
3. The Promise of God is the Provision of Grace. “God says to us over and over in Scripture, ‘My grace is sufficient. My strength is made perfect in your weakness. You are my son and I will deal with you as my son.'” Jeremiah uses John 15 and 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 as a corner stone for this premise. “Wise, godly people who have faced disruptive moments will say without hesitation, ‘Never is all my life have I sensed the closeness and provision of God as I did when I came to the bend in the road. Never before have I been more fruitful than I’ve been since I came though the bend in the road.’”
4. Disruptive Moments Produce Dynamic Growth. Three specific products of adversity in the Christian life:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 – More power
Hebrews 12:5-11 – More holiness
John 15:1-8 - More fruit
“You can struggle against the disruptive moment, shake your fist at the heavens, and find yourself exhausted, defeated, and in despair – or you can accept the moment and let it train and strengthen you. God allows no pain without purpose. Instead, He uses pain to dispense power, holiness and fruit.”
5. What we receive from disruptive moments depends upon how we respond.
“Disaster usually prompts the ‘why’ questions. Why this, Lord? Why now? Why not later? Why not someone else? Why questions are a natural part of being human. But we can ask better questions. We can ask ‘what’ questions. What Lord? What would You have me do? What are You trying to teach me. What is the value in this disaster for me?”
With a teachable spirit and a quest for godliness, we learn and grow through our bends in the road – through our times of seeming disaster. And we experience the Romans 8:29 …”becoming conformed to the image of Christ.”

Charles Spurgeon said, “I bear witness that I owe more to the fire, and the hammer, and the file, than to anything else in my Lord’s workshop. I sometimes question whether I have ever learned anything except through the rod. When my schoolroom is darkened, I see most.”

John Walsh - Fighting Back

A six-year-old boy was abducted and murdered about 25 years ago. His dad, John Walsh, used that loss to provide much gain for thousands of others. Most everyone is acquainted with the TV program “America’s Most Wanted.”

Walsh states, “After the abduction and murder of my child, I was very angry and bitter for a long time. But I tried to channel that anger into something positive because it can both take you down and destroy you or you can try to use it to change things for the better. My son was the real victim. I just needed to make sure he didn’t die in vain.”

Public recognition has increased multi-fold. Better prevention and intervention efforts are in place. When a child is missing, no longer is a parent left to his or her own devices to figure out what to do next. Many services and resources are now available to help parents cope with the crisis.

“In my time of crisis,” Walsh states, “I found a way of dealing with my heartbreak that was not destructive or hurtful to others. I do know that because of the work I’ve done a lot of people are behind bars that deserve to be there. There are children who are sleeping safe in their beds tonight because of all of the efforts of thousands of ordinary people.

“Life is a journey of incredible highs and incredible lows. No matter what happens to you, you can survive.”

Walsh’s loss has been much gain to others.

Meditation: Day after Easter

The cross was not an after-thought for God to correct a mistake in His plan for creation. It was an expression of His love for His creation.
The cross was not a tragedy that happened to Jesus. It was God's plan for man's salvation and the ultimate triumph of God over sin.

Man was given the power to choose to love God. Man chose to love himself and entered into the curse of sin. God provided a way, through the cross, for man to be restored to the relationship that was lost by that choice. The cross was not a correction to creation; it was part of the design for man's relationship to God.

God, in the person of Christ, revealed His love for us on the cross and completed His creative process for mankind. He died as an expression of His mastery over sin and His plan for a loving relationship with His creation. God created the cross as a means to establish that loving relationship with His creation that chose poorly.

God's love choice for us took Christ from the cross to the tomb. From the tomb to resurrection. As a result, followers of Jesus not only have eternal life with Him, but can experience His life lived through them on a daily basis. "...it is not I but Christ who lives through me."

The cross was an incredibly costly triumph of His love over the powers of darkness and sin. Man's only response is the power to choose to accept or reject the relationship offered through Christ’s death / resurrection. What an incredible privilege and responsibility.
Adapted from Dan Eichenberger

HE IS RISEN

Paradox

A fine line
spider-thread thin
links sorrow and celebration
darkness and light
loss and gain

Look over the shoulder of sadness
joy lurks in the wings
waiting to make its entrance

Tip weakness on its head
strength spills out
taking me by surprise

Peer into the darkness of a tomb
light blazes forth
banishing the shadows

Every farewell heralds an arrival
every ending a new beginning
every crisis an opportunity
for new growth, deeper roots

Dead leaves falling in autumn
make mulch for winter's bleakness
and shade from summer's heat

So help me
God of paradox and mystery
to embrace struggle and suffering
to wait patiently for their transforming
to search the shadows that settle round my heart
and find reflected there the radiance of your face
Major Barbara Sampson, Salvation Army, New Zealand

You are so Significant

What an incredible journey Jesus made;
What an overwhelming expression of love He undertook;
What an awesome purpose He had in mind.
You were on His heart.
When He left His home in heaven, He saw you;
When He became a man on earth, He was seeking you;
When He stretched out His hands upon the cross,
He was reaching out to you;
When He returned to His Father, He was preparing a place for you.
You are the sheep He has come to shepherd, to guide , to feed, to protect, to shelter, and to carry.
You are the one He calls His own.
Friday was yesterday. Today He is in the grave. Sunday is coming!
adapted from Roy Lessin

Friday – Christ’s crucifixion

Calvary, the place of indignity. Of shame. Jesus, having been betrayed by Judas, denied by Peter, flogged, spat upon, struck in the face, garlanded with thorns, stripped, hangs between heaven and earth with outstretched arms beckoning you and me to “come unto Me all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give your rest.” He forgives those who crucified Him. He arranges for the care of His mother. He welcomes a dying thief into paradise. Then the Father turns His back on the scene and Jesus cries out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” I can’t imagine the physical and emotional pain. For you. For me.

The mystery of the crucifixion continues to unfold as we read Galatians 2:20 “I am crucified with Christ…” The believer in Him is co-crucified with Christ. Romans 6:6 is a corollary of Galatians 2:20 and tells us that our “old nature” died with Christ. The person I was before beginning my walk in faith with Christ is dead. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells me that I am a new creature, the old is past, the new has come.

Everything about me is the same after initiating my commitment to Christ – personality, body structure, habits, social propensity – but there is a new source of empowerment for living. It is not ME running my life in my own strength, but Christ providing the wherewithal to live supernaturally. I can now ask Him to live, love and give through me. He is my life. What peace! What contentment! What joy! What strength! What hope for the future! (Glory be to God who by His mighty power at work within me is able to do far more than I would ever dare to ask or even dream of – infinitely beyond my highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.) Ephesians 3:20 TLB

Friday’s crucifixion is followed by Sunday’s resurrection.

Responsive Choices to Stuttering - 4

The three previous posts have described in brief the challenges of stuttering. I have the following options in managing my response to blocked speech:
1. Resist - be continually frustrated and embittered, fearful of speaking
2. Resign - this is my lot in life, put up with it
3. Purchase a $4000 machine that when plugged into my ears will act as a distraction and speaking is possibly more comprehendible.
4. Rejoice - be joyful and thankful, knowing that God is using this for my good, the good of others and for His glory.

I choose #4 (95% of the time, some of the time I choose #1) because of these insights:
¯ * 2 Corinthians 12:7 addresses two possibilities for the increased stuttering pattern: “To keep me from getting puffed up, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from getting proud.” (Maybe Paul stuttered!) No, that was Moses – slow of speech.
1. The Evil One could be playing a part, which calls for my resistance to him.
2. Avoid spiritual pride. “God, am I prideful of being used productively in others’ lives – of memorizing Scripture, of knowing the Word? Forgive me if I am. Make me aware of it for repentance. Or, is stuttering just a preventative for pride? It is truly a humbling experience.”
¯ * 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 “Where I am weak, He is made strong.” Stuttering causes a deeper dependency on God for His Ephesians 3:20 empowerment.
¯ * For a greater simultaneity, a growing constant awareness of His presence. (I need Him just to be able to speak.)
¯ * Insecurity seems to play a significant role in my stuttering. Could there be a most subtle, deeper insecurity from loss of both parents in the last year? That sure is outside the realm of consciousness; or, the insecurity of the worsening Parkinson’s.
¯ * I desire to be a clean and empty vessel for the Lord to fill with Himself and to live through me. If this is a Hebrews 12 discipline for a Psalms 19 unknown sin, I’d like it to be revealed.
¯ * It’s a powerful thing when I’m speaking to a group, stuttering a lot, and have to stop and ask someone to pray for fluency and see the change. Good object lesson.
¯ * Stuttering has definitely helped my counseling career. Can’t talk? Gotta listen. A counselor must be a good listener. The pain of stuttering gives me instant bonding with the client’s emotional pain. I really do “feel their pain.”
¯ * When I block significantly, it is frustrating, so that means some anger. Who else but toward God? Reveals a lack of trust in Him. The frustration can be directed somewhat to people who try to help me speak. It makes me feel incapable, a failure, though I know they do it out of concern for me, not to exhibit my failure. And, lately I’ve blocked so long on a word that I appreciate the person saying it for me.
¯ * It is a James 1:2-4 character building experience, so when blocking be joyful. Character strength is growing. (Joy can be a choice after the frustration is processsed.)
¯ * Is this a signal to bridle my tongue – to be less quick to speak, to give advice, to confront?
¯ * It is possible that there is a connection bio-chemically with the Parkinson’s and at this point there is nothing I can do about that productively except choice #4. I must confess to you that possibly “5%” of the time my choice is not #4, but #1. I get frustrated. To help you understand, try an experiment. Repeat the first syllable of a word for 20 seconds, for 10 seconds, for 5 seconds. What does it make you feel?

Bottom line: if there is sin causing the increased stuttering, He can reveal it. If it’s emotional or bio-chemically based, He can heal me. If it’s of Satan, I resist him. If it’s for greater connection with God and being used productively for and by Him for myself and others, praise the Lord. I will rejoice. “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” – even stuttering (or whatever challenge you face.) Romans 8:28 NASB

Just don’t expect me to have a five minute conversation in less than 10 minutes!!!

By the way, if you didn’t see my first blog post in January, this blogsite is a result of two of my friends suggesting that because I can’t speak fluently anymore, I minister through writing. They both suggested blogging. I’m excited about the potential.

I’d be interested in knowing your response to this series on stuttering. Was it helpful to you? Did it raise any questions? Would you disagree with some concept? Click the comment button or email me at olaf.burwick@gmail.com. Thanks!

You, dear reader, probably don’t stutter. What is your challenge? Sickness? Disease? Emotional wounding? Relational upheaval? If you love God and are endeavoring to be obedient to His Word, and the thorn isn’t being removed, how may this be a productive experience for you? How might God be desiring to benefit you through this? How can this loss be your gain?

Stuttering, Mad at God – part 3

My stuttering exploded at a crisis point last month. My journal reads, “God, I’m stuttering as much if not worse than when I was a kid. What is happening? In 1964 it seemed as though You promised healing for the causes of stuttering and there has been a progressing fluency for which I am so grateful, until recently. Look at it now, a mess. I’m so ticked at you. I know you’re all loving and in control and can use it for good but damn it, this doesn’t feel right, like you’re going back on your word. Help!” (Folks, that is called confession.)

The crisis came when I was giving a devotional to the NNU basketball team. It took me about 25 minutes to say 5 minutes worth of content. It was real embarrassing, frustrating and discouraging. “I don’t want to stutter. What is it God? What’s wrong? What’s the purpose? I can’t (won’t) accept it. I’d rather sulk and pout, anger skewed. I’m sure that will do a lot of good! Help, Abba PaPa.” I spent the following day in a fleshly, ugly self pity, combined with anger and irritability. (More confession!)

Two days later as I was reading my journal, the anger written toward God seemed so disrespectful. I wrote, “I’m sorry. I love you God and appreciate all you’ve done for me in all facets of life. But, not being able to communicate without embarrassment is tough. I don’t want to be angry with you. Help me feel it deeply and let it go, giving up the right to fluent speech with adequate vocabulary recall. Speak through me as you choose. You’re certainly capable of telling me if I’m contributing to the heightened stuttering and provide the prescription for healing.”

Reading Philip Yancy’s book on Prayer, reminded me that Abraham bargained with God, Moses argued with Him, Job was angry with Him, Jacob wrestled with Him and even Jesus begged of the Father. So it seemed acceptable for me to be angrily questioning my Abba PaPa. However, my attitude didn’t feel comfortable. My objective is to love God, praise God, express gratitude to God, to be content. I wasn’t doing a good job of that. “Forgive me and work deeply,” I prayed. “Root out anything that is not of you. Build in me ever deepening trust, joy, and contentment.”

A few days later I sensed a greater closeness to God after that episode of verbalizing anger to Him. I think the greater intimacy evolved because I have a foundational belief that God loves me, works all to my good, the good of others and His glory. So in articulating the anger, (confession) I’ve let down a wall that would have blocked our fellowship, just like in a human relationship. If I’m angry at my wife Theresa, and not talking it through, the sweet flow of fellowship is dammed. Vitality of relationship is blocked or at best marred. A sweet flow of fellowship with God returned, post confession. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse us…”

A web search on stuttering and Parkinson’s Disease indicates a possible connection. So I experimented with my PD medication, cutting back. Results: more PD symptoms and the same stuttering pattern. Dead end.
We’ll look at how I’m handling the stuttering on this blog site tomorrow in our last of a four-part series.

Stuttering and athletics - 2

Continuing from yesterday’s post, stuttering has its light side too. While coaching basketball at Cascade College, I got stuck on a word during a time out. Timeouts are only one minute long. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get the word out. Suddenly, Lynn Dunton, one of the players, interrupted me and said, “Sing it coach.” Stutterers don’t stutter when they sing. We all laughed. The tension was broken and the word escaped my mouth.

How to pray about the stuttering was a challenge. My charismatic friends would say, “You just don’t have enough faith. Believe God and he will heal you.” I’d get on my knees trying to conjure up enough faith – pray hard – nothing. Nada. Nyet. My non-charismatic friends would say, “I hope you don’t stop stuttering. The courage you have in speaking is an inspiration for us.” "God, how do I pray?"
I went to the College chapel one Saturday and told God I wasn’t leaving there until I had a word from Him. I read Scripture, prayed and cried. And finally, after a few hours it seemed like God said, “Ray, I’m not going to heal you of stuttering. I’m going to heal what is causing the stuttering.” Fluency took a leap up then and has improved slowly these past 45 years. Of late, my stuttering has been worse though, returning to the blockage pattern of childhood. More about that in the next post.

Athletic competition was a dominant theme in my life. That was one arena where I could perform and not have to speak. And perform I did. As a North Dakota elementary and high school boy, with three feet of snow on the ground, I’d shovel off the driveway and shoot hoops. I’d play one on one with guys much better and bigger than me, knowing I’d get whipped but I’d get better, quicker.

The pursuit of athletic excellence paid great dividends. All state first team in basketball. Leading scorer in the state. Third in the state in high jump and high hurdles. Kicker on the football team. On to college at Dickinson State where I became a starter as a freshman and did very well. Was named MVP at a basketball camp sponsored by some of the Boston Celtics. Transferred to NNC – was one of the leading scorers in the Northwest. Had an invitation to tryout with the then Los Angeles Stars professional basketball team. I am so grateful to God for the ability He gave me and the motivation to develop athletic skills.

In fact, could this be one of the blessings of stuttering. A propensity to athletic prowess was God-given, but I think the stuttering laid a motivational groundwork for “proving myself” much like the ghetto kids today who excel in athletics. Besides, what else was there to do in Mott, North Dakota (population 1500) and then Dickinson (population 9000)? No video games to consume my time. In fact, no TV until I was in high school. Athletics was my escape from the pain of stuttering – a respite in a conflictual world. A source of recognition to a young boy/man who thought very poorly of himself. Thank God for athletics. The loss of communication skill provided the impetuous for athletic performance. Gain through loss.
Ray Burwick

"If I died for you, can't you stutter for Me?"

“If I died for you, can’t you stutter for me?” Jesus seemed to be saying to me as I lay on my dormitory bunk wallowing in self pity and rage at Him. I had been in a church service. It was open testimony time. I stood, planning to thank God for my salvation. I stuttered so badly that I hardly got a word out. I went back to my dorm room that night, so mad at God. “Here I am trying to speak for you and couldn’t speak coherently. They probably didn’t even understand what I was trying to say. I’m never going to speak for You again.” After a while it seemed like Christ came into the room. I didn’t see any vision or anything, but it was like His presence was in the room saying to me, “Ray, if I died for you, can’t you stutter for me?” I wept. Time for attitude check.

Stuttering has been a dominating force in my life. Mom stuttered and I’m told that when I learned to speak I spoke like her (with a stutter) and she’d slap me, thinking I was making fun of her. Of course, that exacerbated the speaking pattern. As a 12-year-old, I went to an Easter Seals 6-week camp for stuttering and learned techniques for more fluent speaking. At camp, the blocking would improve but after I got home it would deteriorate back to the old pattern.

One of the therapeutic techniques was to work on our fear of speaking, so our assignment was to go door to door, asking what time it was. How embarrassing to be standing in front of a stranger, asking for the time in a very stumbling manner. That was tough! My speaking was so much of a struggle at times, that I’d throw my jaw wide open to get a word out and once had to visit a doctor for an adjustment. I tried speech therapy, hypnotism, even had Oral Roberts lay hands on and pray for me – nothing brought fluency.

Probably the most agonizing experience was as a student at Northwest Nazarene College. I wanted to be, above all else, a teacher/coach. That was my vision and my passion. As a junior, the Academic Dean called me into her office and with grave tone said, “Ray, you’re going to have to change majors. No school will hire you because of the stuttering.” What a devastating blow. I really wanted to be a basketball coach and had done considerable preparation for it. Nothing else appealed to me. It was like, “Stop the world, God. Let me off.”

I changed majors. In the last month of my senior year I received a call from Portland’s Cascade College to begin their basketball program. So, the normal coaching scenario was by-passed - beginning at a middle school or junior high, moving up to JV and then possibly to head coach in high school and rarely having the opportunity to coach in college. I went from college right into college coaching. Wow! I learned that if God has a plan for my life, no person or institution can block it. And, the school that said no school would ever hire me, 14 years later, did.

The interview for that coaching position at NNC was hilarious. While meeting with the president and a board member, the president said, “I think I know your wife’s family. What is her maiden name?” Well, words that begin with the letter “h” have always been tough to say and Ann’s maiden name was Huntington. I tried and tried to get the name out and couldn’t accomplish the task. Here I am interviewing for a college coaching position and can’t say “Huntington.” The two men were initially patient as I stuttered and stumbled around. But then they began guessing, saying various names that began with “h.” “Harris,” they’d say and I’d shake my head indicating, “no.”. “Harper?” Nope. “Hansen?” Again, the shake of my head. Their guessing didn’t help – just added more pressure. Finally “Huntington” escaped my mouth. Was I relieved! Though I was embarrassed, we had a good laugh. God definitely wanted me at NNC because it wasn’t that I had an impressive interview! I coached basketball one year at NNC. Then on to the life-long dream of coaching NCAA Division One - Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama.

Again, if God has a plan for a person’s life, no person or institution can block it. Psalm 57:2 I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me. …who fulfills His purpose for me. How reassuring to the person who walks in faith with Jesus Christ.
Stuttering, part two, tomorrow. How I handled stuttering.
ray burwick

How is your personal caliber

The caliber of a man is found in his ability to meet disappointment successfully, enriched rather than narrowed by it. Thomas Kelly in “Testament of Devotion”

I stutter. And at the age of 68 it is becoming more exaggerated. I’ve not always met the disappointment of this speaking pattern successfully as Kelly commends, however I believe the speaking challenge has enriched my life rather than narrowing it. I’ve gained through the loss of fluent speech.

The following four blog posts will be my stutter story. You may not stutter, but everyone has personal challenges. I hope you’ll be able to relate and benefit from my life story, learning to be enriched rather than narrowed by whatever tough time you may be experiencing. Please indulge me in allowing me to share with you the unique opportunity I’ve faced.