Part 2 - No Arms, No Legs

Continuing from yesterday's post:

Due to my emotional struggles I had experienced with bullying, self esteem and loneliness, God has implanted a passion of sharing my story and experiences to help others cope with whatever challenge they have in their life and let God turn it into a blessing. To encourage and inspire others to live to their fullest potential and not let anything get in the way of accomplishing their hopes and dreams.

One of the first lessons that I have learned was not to take things for granted.
"And we know that in all things God works for the best for those who love Him." That verse spoke to my heart and convicted me to the point where that I know that there is no such thing as luck, chance or coincidence that these "bad" things happen in our life. I had complete peace knowing that God won't let anything happen to us in our life unless He has a good purpose for it all.

I completely gave my life to Christ at the age of fifteen after reading John 9. Jesus said that the reason the man was born blind was "so that the works of God may be revealed through Him." I truly believed that God would heal me so I could be a great testimony of His Awesome Power. Later on I was given the wisdom to understand that if we pray for something, if it's God's will, it'll happen in His time. If it's not God's will for it to happen, then I know that He has something better. I now see that Glory revealed as He is using me just the way I am and in ways others can't be used.

I am now twenty-three years old and have completed a Bachelor of Commerce majoring in Financial Planning and Accounting I am also a motivational speaker and love to go out and share my story and testimony wherever opportunities become available. I have developed talks to relate to and encourage students through topics that challenge today's teenagers. I am also a speaker in the corporate sector. I have a passion for reaching out to youth and keep myself available for whatever God wants me to do, and wherever He leads, I follow.

I have many dreams and goals that I have set to achieve in my life. I want to become the best witness I can be of God's Love and Hope , to become an international inspirational speaker and be used as a vessel in both Christian and non-Christian venues. I want to become financially independent by the age of 25, through real estate investments, to modify a car for me to drive and to be interviewed and share my story on the " Oprah Winfrey Show "! Writing several best-selling books has been one of my dreams and I hope to finish writing my first by the end of the year. It will be called "No Arms, No Legs, No Worries!"

I believe that if you have the desire and passion to do something, and if it's God's will, you will achieve it in good time. As humans, we continually put limits on ourselves for no reason at all! What's worse is putting limits on God who can do all things. We put God in a "box". The awesome thing about the Power of God, is that if we want to do something for God, instead of focusing on our capability, concentrate on our availability for we know that it is God through us and we can't do anything without Him. Once we make ourselves available for God's work, guess whose capabilities we rely on? God's!

No arms. No Legs. No Worries!

I was born without limbs and doctors have no medical explanation for this birth "defect". As you can imagine, I was faced with many challenges and obstacles. My name is Nick Vujicic and I give God the Glory for how He has used my testimony to touch thousands of hearts around the world!

"Consider it pure joy, my Brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds."

....To count our hurt, pain and struggle as nothing but pure joy? As my parents were Christians, and my Dad even a Pastor of our church, they knew that verse very well. However, on the morning of the 4th of December 1982 in Melbourne(Australia), the last two words on the minds of my parents was "Praise God!". Their firstborn son had been born without limbs! There were no warnings or time to prepare themselves for it. The doctors were shocked and had no answers at all! There is still no medical reason why this had happened and I now have a brother and sister who were born just like any other baby.

The whole church mourned over my birth and my parents were absolutely devastated. Everyone asked, "if God is a God of Love, then why would God let something this bad happen to not just anyone, but dedicated Christians?" My Dad thought I wouldn't survive for very long, but tests proved that I was a healthy baby boy just with a few limbs missing.

Understandably, my parents had strong concern and evident fears of what kind of life I'd be able to lead. God provided them strength, wisdom and courage through those early years and soon after that I was old enough to go to school. The law in Australia didn't allow me to be integrated into a main-stream school because of my physical disability. God did miracles and gave my Mom the strength to fight for the law to be changed. I was one of the first disabled students to be integrated into a main-stream school.

I liked going to school, and just try to live life like everyone else, but it was in my early years of school where I encountered uncomfortable times of feeling rejected, weird and bullied because of my physical difference. It was very hard for me to get used to, but with the support of my parents, I started to develop attitudes and values which helped me overcome these challenging times. I knew that I was different but on the inside I was just like everyone else. There were many times when I felt so low that I wouldn't go to school just so I didn't have to face all the negative attention. I was encouraged by my parents to ignore them and to try start making friends by just talking with some kids. Soon the students realized that I was just like them, and starting there God kept on blessing me with new friends.

There were times when I felt depressed and angry because I couldn't change the way I was, or blame anyone for that matter. I went to Sunday School and learned that God loves us all and that He cares for you. I understood that love to a point as a child, but I didn't understand that if God loved me why did He make me like this? Is it because I did something wrong? I thought I must have because out of all the kids at school, I'm the only weird one. I felt like I was a burden to those around me and the sooner I go, the better it'd be for everyone. I wanted to end my pain and end my life at a young age, but I am thankful once again, for my parents and family who were always there to comfort me and give me strength.

This is part one of a two part series taken from an email message.

Parenting

Invariably we parent as we have been parented, or we flip flop. My dad didn’t have an emotionally nurturing father, subsequently he parented me in like manner. Not being a demonstrative man, his first emotional demonstration of his care for me was when he cried while depositing me at the train depot when I left for college. That awareness really shook me. Confusion.
As a parent to my son, I said it would be different. I flip flopped. Smothered him. How does a parent remodel his parent’s model?

Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family, addresses this question in the June Focus magazine. “I’m often asked how my own tumultuous childhood has affected my role as a father of two boys. My parents divorced when I was young, and a year after my mother remarried, she died suddenly. My stepfather quickly abandoned us and I spent the rest of my youth in a chaotic environment with few positive role models.

“When I became a father, I gleaned a great deal of wisdom from Dr. Dobson’s books and radio programs and from other Christian writers who have gone before me in the adventure of parenthood. I have made good use of these wonderful resources even as I continue to learn from others.
“I’m not a perfect parent or anything close to it. I think most dads, regardless of their upbringing, would attest that fatherhood is a process of learning by trail and error, and one that must be continually covered in prayer. Rather than pressuring myself to do everything right as a father, I simply focus on doing a few things well, trusting God to help me as I go.

“In practical terms, that means spending as much time as possible with my two boys and building open, honest relationships. I make sure I tell my boys two things on a daily basis that I seldom heard when I was their age: “I love you” and “I’m proud of you.” In the end, that’s the best thing a dad can do.

Daly refused to be a victim of circumstances. His early childhood loss became gain as it motivated him to give to his two boys what he didn’t receive.

Meet Barbara

While shooting hoops with my grandson at the Ocoee, Florida YMCA, I met Barbara, 50-year-old mother of one of the young men with whom I was playing a game of “horse.” Somehow the topic of my blog came up (can you imagine that?) and she said, “I’ve certainly had loss in my childhood – sexual, physical and emotional abuse from my father.”

Barbara went on to describe the results. “I became a man-hater, controlled by volcanic anger with a sarcastic mouth. As a 31-year-old I met Jesus and change began. Attitudes began changing and I even worked things out with my dad on his death bed. I’m now free from the bondage.”
The value of the abuse – the ultimate result: “I understand people better. If it feels like someone is attacking me I translate that to a probability of a result of their own childhood trauma. I have a great love for kids and desire to see them grow to become responsible people. I’m a wiser, better parent to my children. I’ve been propelled to dig into Scripture for God’s wisdom. I’ve learned that people treat you how you expect them to. If you get disrespect, you’re projecting it, expecting it. The abuse helped me become a stronger person.”

By the way, the kid couldn’t take down this ol’ man in “horse!”

Friends

“Friends are not optional but necessary,” were the words that began David Uth’s sermon last Sunday at Orlando First Baptist Church. The following are notes I took during the message – one of the best renditions on friendship I’ve ever heard. The setting is Eccleiastes 4:9-12

I. Friends are not optional but necessary. “It is not good for man to be alone. Two are better than one.” He spoke of the importance of Life Groups where two to 12 people meet for instruction, encouragement and loving accountability – doing life together in a quest for spiritual formation.

II. Friends are not automatic, they are cultivated. The secret to cultivation is, “it’s not about me. It’s about you.” – Serving your friend.
III. Friends are not neutral, they impact your life. “Show me you friends and I’ll show you your destiny.” (We become like the books we read and the people with whom we associate.) 1 Cor.15:33 and James 4:4.
IV. Friends are not equal.
A. Acquaintance
B. Affinity friends (common interests, like hunting and fishing)
C. Friends in Christ (Proverbs 18:24)
Example: David and Jonathon in 1 Samuel 18
1. Covenant relationship I’m unconditionally committed to you.
I’m safe. I’m honest and authentic with you. You can trust
me.
2.Giving – Jonathon gave David his robe, belt, armor, a selfless act
of giving that left him vulnerable. John 15:13-Not greater love then one who lays down his life for his friends. (Sacrifice)
3. Lordship – Eccl.4:12 “A cord of three strands is not quickly
broken.” The significance of having Christ in the relationship.

"Dominator is dunked"

One proud “papa” watched his 7-year-old grandson emerge from the Atlantic Ocean a baptized follower of Jesus. Dominic Scoleri was one of 138 people baptized Sunday May 20th by David Uth, pastor of Orlando First Baptist church, in the waters off Cocoa Beach Florida.

To know that the most important thing in life, walking with faith in Christ, is being replicated generationally is a real joy. While waiting in line to be baptized, Dominick (the Dominator) was questioned by a reporter about his faith. He told of how he prayed to receive Jesus with his mother and then quoted Colossians 2:6-7 in response to the question of what is one of his favorite scriptures.

The extended weekend in Florida also produced tears of joy as I watched and listened to Dominick’s sister, Gabriella, sing with a group called Virtue. To listen to that group of twenty 3rd to 6th graders sing praises to the Lord was so exciting. The group performs for various organizations around the Orlando area and leads worship every Sunday for K-5th graders.

To top the weekend off, my daughter Gretchen performed to perfection in the drama “Steel Magnolias”. They received rave reviews from the Orlando Sentinel’s drama editor. What a full and great weekend.

Baptism

I'm headed for Orlando to be with my daughter, Gretchen and her family. Get to watch my grandson, Dominick, be baptized in the Atlantic Ocean. (He is fast becoming basketball's next Larry Bird.) So, I'll be back in a few days with more blogging. But, I'll leave you with these special quotes.

Everything is needful that God sends.
Nothing is needful that God withholds. Author unknown

Thomas More: ”To think my most enemies my best friends. For the brethren of Joseph could never have done him so much good with their love and favour as they did with their malice and hatred.”

Today, this hour, this minute is the day, the hour, the minute for each of us to sense the fact that life is good, with all of its trials and troubles, and perhaps more interesting because of them. Robert Updegraff

"Holy Guts"

In light of the homegoing of Jerry Falwell, it would be appropriate for this space to hear a word from him, sent to his subscription list May 11, 2007.

Working to Preserve Religious Expression in School

In the May issue of my National Liberty Journal newspaper, we featured the story of Megan Chapman, who last year was forced to make a choice between standing up for her faith in Jesus Christ or allowing school officials to silence her.

She chose not to be silent, even though Russell Springs, Kentucky school officials told her she could not mention Jesus or her faith in her valedictorian speech. At the commencement, more than 3,000 people packed her school’s gymnasium, with members of the press in attendance. And before the principal of the school could finish making his opening remarks, the senior class stood together and recited “The Lord’s Prayer.”

What an inspiring scene!

Then Megan walked to the platform, prepared only to read the poem, “The Road Less Traveled” because she had been warned not to mention her faith. But as she looked out over the audience, she prayed that God would give her a message.

And He did.

Megan put away the poem and began speaking from her heart, sharing how God is real in her life. She spoke of the peace she has encountered since giving her heart to Jesus Christ and wished that same peace for her classmates.

The speech was frequently interrupted with cheers. One local media outlet noted a “revival-like atmosphere” at the graduation. The next night, Megan appeared on the Fox News Channel where she was able to again share her faith in Jesus Christ.

She is now a student at Liberty University.

God Has a Plan for you

At nine days of age, mother threw me into the bushes behind our house, leaving me to be found by a neighbor, with whom I lived for a while. Mom probably was going through a nervous breakdown because of an abusive husband.

This took place in rural Trinidad. No electricity. A public community tap for water. One phone at the police station. The community was made up of two to three hundred people. Farmers. A thatched roof with mud walls was my home. My “father” knew I wasn’t his because our ethnic makeup wasn’t the same. I lived with my step dad, his parents and my sister who was two years older than me. We often moved, finding work in farming. Life was tough. Besides moving much, I was treated as the family scapegoat. I received all the beatings.

A family from the city took my sister to live with them. Shortly after my step dad took me to them asking if they’d take me, that he would come back weekly and pay them for my care. That was the last time we saw him. No Care. No financial support. So, there I was in a home where nobody wanted me. I had no name. They called me “boy.” Finally at the age of seven, they gave me the name “Joseph.” (Not his real name.) There were always 10 to 15 people in the small house. We slept like stacks of cord wood. I had a diverse religious background. We went to the Hindu temple, the Muslim mosque and the Catholic Church. Attending six different schools in five years indicated further insecurities.

There was no moral compass. Lies, sexual and physical abuse was prevalent. Very little food. No shoes. Hand-me-down clothes. And worst of all (besides the abuse) was never being appreciated or complimented. The one line I grew hearing was “ You could never do anything for someone to tell you thanks.” All relationship was abusive. I’d be sent to the landfill and wait until the truck came that dumped the left-overs from the chicken processing factory. That was usually 10 to 11 p.m. Then up early for school. When we did eat, we did so in a hurry before someone else took our food.

The culture was dominated by evil spirits superstition. For example, we had to walk in the house backwards after 10 p.m. to avoid allowing evil spirits to enter the house with us. This same belief in evil spirits superstition led to the conclusion of the adults in the home where I was living that I had stolen some money which I never did. As a 9 year old I was not able to convince anyone that I did not take the money. I guess the evil spirits knew best. From that incident on I was seen as a liar.

I was now living in a world where no one believed me. Life became very lonely. I was blamed for anything missing so I soon began to steal because I was blamed anyway. A thief and liar I became because I was labeled that. At about age 11 I was working for an American Caucasian woman as her yard boy and one day she told me I would never amount to anything, which continued to feed my poor self image I quit school at 12 and began working full-time. From the age of 12 to 21 I worked on farms, a grocery, textile manufacturing and a car and truck assembly plant. I completely missed out on a high school education.

At 18, I was coerced to attend the Nazarene church. For the first time I found that people were interested in me. I blossomed. Took on leadership roles, sang in the choir. Became very involved and at the age of 20 felt like God was calling me into the ministry. Went to Bible school four years. I was accepted in to Bible College because I passed an entrance exam. While in Bible College I felt God was directing me to the US to further my education in the area of counseling. Through some clear divine intervention, I found myself at a Christian University on the East Coast – with no money. I could tell you many great stories of God’s provision for me. God continued his miraculous ways and seminary was next. In six years I had my bachelor’s degree, 2 masters, an apartment and a car. Not bad for guy who had to depend on a friend to purchase his ticket to come to the US. And at the end I did not owe a penny for my education. All this on a student visa because the Immigration would not give me a work permit. Talk about God having a plan for you?

I met my wife-to-be in seminary. She and I were married the weekend following our graduation from seminary. Six weeks later we were on our way to our first mission service where she and I pastored and taught in the Bible School and I carried on a counseling practice. After ten years, on to England for study and pasturing and now back in the States. We didn’t want to place our child in child care so I’ve been a stay-at-home dad. It has been a most refreshing time, forcing me to focus on my emotional healing and personal growth.

What is the gain from all the early loss? I’m certainly more appreciative of relationships and material blessings we have. I’m a good counselor because I connect quickly with people in pain. I can sense people’s struggles rapidly and they sense my understanding . I’m seeing God as the only real Dad I had (have.) This is helping me be a better dad to our daughter, age 3. This is the richest time of my Christian walk. WHAT GOD CAN DO! “Joseph”

God is faithful

Shh! Listen carefully. God is faithful. He is faithful to fulfill every promise in His Word. Sometimes we think God isn't faithful because it appears He has not fulfilled a desire that we have. Sometimes we think He is not faithful because of a crisis event that seems to say God isn't faithful. We must remember that God is more concerned about accomplishing His ultimate purpose in the life of every believer than giving us what we want or think we need.

Sometimes His plan for us is hardship – for our personal growth and sometimes for the benefit of others. The Bible is full of accounts of God's faithfulness that was often accompanied by hardship. He brought Joseph out of slavery to be greatly used in a nation. He delivered the people from Egypt and brought them into the Promised Land. He gave Abraham the son of promise late in his life. He delivered David from his enemies and made him a king. In story upon story, we learn of God's faithfulness.

Are you going through a hardship now - God caused or God allowed? Rather than praying “why,” pray “what.” “What do you want to do in my life through this adversity? What can I learn? How can I grow? What is the value of the tough time I’m experiencing?” God, our loving Abba PaPa, loves to answer prayers like that.
Adapted from Os Hillman

The "Gift" of Blindness

The Loss: eyesight. Blindness at the age of 15 from retinitis pigmentosa.
The Gain: “it can be well with your soul even when it isn’t well with your circumstances.”

Jennifer Rothschild tells her story in “Today’s Christian Woman” magazine, authored by Camerin Courtney. The following are some snippets.
The 43-year-old wife and mother of two states, “Since I’m blind it is easy for me to be fearful. But I’m unwilling to be governed by it. I’ve discovered courage is a choice.”
She describes herself as one with “tenacious faith.” An unshakeable trust in God and a loyal love for Him. She has often asked “why?’ but never “why me?” She displays an attitude of “why not me?” “Suffering exists on earth, so I’m simply part of the scheme of things.”

She quotes Joni Eareckson Tada: “Sometimes God allows what he hates to accomplish what he loves.” “Through my blindness and through other people’s sorrows and tragedies, I’ve seen that though God hates those things, he loves seeing us develop a more eternal perspective, a more loyal love toward Him, a deeper character. When I think about my life, I realize I love those good things blindness has worked in me more than I’d love the ability to see.”

“The hardest thing about being blind is making that daily choice not to be bitter or angry – to choose to find a reason to be grateful and content. This comes from speaking truth to my soul. I’ve learned I’m either going to be governed by feelings or fact. I choose to be governed by what God says about who I am.

“I’ve also learned that instead of allowing blindness to be my enemy, I need to make it my friend. When I do that, it becomes something God can use to teach me things I never would have learned otherwise. It is the secret for 'being well with my soul even when it’s not well with my circumstances.'”

“Over the years I’ve prayed less for healing and more for contentment. When I delight in the Lord (Psalm 37:4) I find myself focusing more on contentment than on healing. I believe that if I never earn contentment while I’m blind, then even if I’m healed, I’ll still be grumpy about something. So for me, learning contentment is a deeper gift. It’s the healing of the heart that occurs even when circumstances haven’t changed that grants us freedom. I choose to look at suffering as a way for God's work and glory to be revealed.”

What an amazing woman. Her loss became my gain as I read her story. May it be yours also.
Learn more about Jennifer at http://www.jenniferrothschild.com/

Hand-walking Evangelist

Hand-walker ministers to children. (Adapted from Mission India's promotional material.)
Like too many people in India, Joshua was born crippled and had no access to healthcare. Today, in his 20’s, he “walks” on his hands, with shriveled legs dragging behind him. But there are few as full of life and joy as Joshua.
Wearing flip-flops on his hands to protect them from the filth, Joshua makes his way through his village in the state of Andhra Pradesh, ministering to about 100 children in four different groups. He has no formal training but he has the love of Jesus and is obediently following God’s call to reach out to youngsters in need. (And I complain about the price of gas!)

Mission India is now training Joshua to be an even more effective tool for the Lord. Think of the gain through loss of mobility. Joshua must be a tremendous inspiration to others as he struggles “crawl-walking” to his ministry posts.
The life of Joshua challenges us to use our own brand of “hand-walking” for the sake of the Kingdom – our stuttering, Parkinson’s, sickness, financial reversal, parenting woes, whatever. God rarely changes our circumstances. He prefers giving us opportunities to grow through the circumstances. The Bible challenges us to “rejoice evermore.” Are you and I rejoicing in our particular trademark of “hand-walking?”

Meditation: Co-creation

A healthy tension exists in Scripture that seems to make the Bible contradict itself, or at least give different slants to a picture. Calvinism emphasizes the sovereignty of God. “God does everything,” the extremist would say. Wesley tends to stress man’s responsibility. The extremist would say, “keep yourself saved.” And for the extremes, “naire the twain shall meet.”

My friend, Dr. Mark Pitts, Vice-president for Academic Affairs at Northwest Nazarene University, often uses the term “co-creation.” We are co-creators of Christ’s life within and through us. That term seems to hinge the two theological doctrines appropriately.

When Christ was standing in front of the tomb of Lazarus, before he called Laz to return to the land of the living, He could have just as easily rolled the stone away by voice. But no, he commanded the people involved to roll the stone away. Man’s responsibility.
A stone blocked the entrance into the tomb in which Jesus’ dead body lay. That stone was moved supernaturally. God’s sovereignty.

Philippians 2:12 challenges us to, “…continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” Man’s responsibility. However that very next verse reads, “for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” God’s sovereignty.

The security of the believer versus loss of salvation is another healthy tension found in Scripture. Security of the believer is observed in John 10:28-29 “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand.” God’s sovereignty.

Yet it seems like Hebrews 6 indicates that you can lose your salvation. Verses 4-6 “It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace. Man’s responsibility.
Both sides of the security issue are represented by brilliant, godly people who often explain away the other’s view point. Could it be that some people need the emphasis of security while others need the emphasis of man’s responsibility?

And in this blog’s emphasis of GainThroughLoss, co-create during times of loss – be it demise of health, divorce, death of a loved one, business reversal or whatever. God promises that He will work everything that happens to us for good if we are cooperating with Him. Loving Him. Obeying Him. Trusting Him through the loss. If we’re not “co-creating” with Him, we become bitter or cynical or lethargic and gain through the loss vanishes. All we have is the loss and negative fallout.

We’ll know the answer to this “healthy tension dilemma” when we engage with God in the New Earth, but until then, co-create. My former Presbyterian pastor, Frank Barker of Birmingham, explained it this way, “Work as it all depends on you. Pray as it all depends on God.”
I’ve spent half of my life under the influence of Calvinistic doctrine, half with Wesley-arminian emphasis. I’m enjoying the strengths of both and hopefully learning to Co-create!

Divorce: Freedom yet Pain

Is it possible to experience a great sense of freedom and yet have a wound that is still raw? I believe so. It is happening to me.

My wound, like in many people’s childhood experience, began with parents who did their best but didn’t realize how their love was conditional. The message was “do right” or get yelled at by Dad, who always corrected me. There was great pressure to perform. I feared doing poorly. I was driven to a lot of student leadership roles. Achieved straight A’s. But I never felt a part with people. In fact, felt unliked. I couldn’t rest in accomplishment. Had to keep performing for the image. Greatly unauthentic and also very anxiety ridden.

As a freshman at Kansas State, a providential meeting with a staff member of Campus Crusade for Christ happened. As a leader of my sorority, I saw this woman putting up posters. Not really knowing what it was, I offered to place posters in my sorority house. That began a relationship that shortly resulted in me receiving Christ and I began my walk with God. This was the missing piece for which I had been searching. I hadn’t found it in my liberal church that didn’t preach Gospel. For the first time in my life I had a relationship with Christ that gave me a calmness and peace that I had never experienced. I was discipled and grew quickly. Friendships took on new meaning. The Crusade program got a little legalistic and I got swept back into the performance trap. Guilt returned when I felt like I wasn’t witnessing enough. So I backed off somewhat but still nurtured my fellowship with God.

On to graduate school where I met my future husband. He was studying for the pastorate. We double and triple dated, usually around some ministry event. I didn’t realize it at the time but our whole relationship was ministry, not a real personal connection. We married and I discovered on the honeymoon that this was the beginning of a severely neglectful relationship..
I had to initiate anything martially. If anything was amiss, he’d blame me. I took it because it was my role – modeled to me by my mother and by her mother. I had no identity. I was Sam’s wife. Became suicidal, that was relieved somewhat through a drama club in which I performed. Friendships developed. I was affirmed. Sam hated it. It threatened him.
He was narcissistic and I was neurotic (to do everything just right.) Sam sucked me dry. For 30 years. I was the pastor’s wife who had to establish an image. The image Sam wanted me to have. He was into sports big time, so between that and the ministry, I received zip. To top it off, he began hitting me in bed – knowing what he was doing.

Counseling began. I began recovery. It felt like a second rebirth. I saw my destructive thinking and behavioral patterns. I became acquainted with the God who really loved me. The unloveable, unworthy Susan was transformed into a woman of God-acceptance, strength, voice and backbone. I started to heal, for myself, our children and for the church. The mealy, mousey woman became strong. Sam hated it. He lost control of me.

The more aggressively I sought God the more Sam turned to being with other women and with sports. He became so obnoxious and ineffective that the church fired him from his role as pastor. I just knew that would get his attention. NOT. His physical and emotional abuse accelerated, to the children and to me. I couldn’t take his emotional abuse to me and to the children anymore. After trying everything for years and giving him many chances to change and grow, I finally made plans to divorce.

His self-centeredness continues to reign supreme, mistreating the children and me. But at last I’m free. Happy. I grieve our loss. I’m still wounded, needing healing. I trust God to work that work within me. I know the wound is so deep that it will take time, involving God’s healing and my cooperation in forgiving.
I’ve accomplished one mission: to change the generational influence of women being abused by their husbands, handed to me from mother and her mother and who knows how far back. My daughter has married a wonderful, loving man who treats her with great respect. No more women abuse in my family.
As I heal, I am experiencing a greater authenticity of self, of expression, of freedom from neurotic performance and a greater intimacy with my Heavenly Father.
“Susan” annonymous

Prodigal

Luke 15:20 So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

The two young men had worked for many years in their family business. One day one of the sons decided he wanted to venture out on his own. He had been under the employment of his dad's business long enough. He felt he had learned all he needed to know. He wanted his independence. He wanted to take his stock options early, which would allow enough capital to begin on his own. The other son remained behind, working day in and day out, faithfully doing his job.

The first son went out on his own only to find it was more difficult than he had ever imagined. The immediate cash gained from the advance from his dad's business was a temptation that was too great for him. He spent all of the money, fell into sin, and failed to invest it in another business. He failed miserably, ending up slopping hogs. Finally, he came crawling back to his dad, seeking to be taken back as a mere laborer. The father took him back with open arms, fully restoring him to his original place. He experienced grace and love in a way he had never known before.

When we desire independence so much that we launch out without God's full blessing, we can expect to fall on our face. When pride enters our lives, it discourages us from dependence on anyone but ourselves; yet God says that we are to depend on Him alone. If we think we can go it alone, we will fail. On the other hand, in spite of the prodigal son's failure, he learned a great lesson of grace that he had not known before. This resulted in a humility of heart that had a lasting impression for the rest of his life. Therefore, God even turns our failures into successes spiritually when we are willing to admit our failure.

Pride always goes before a fall. Check your heart today and ask God if there is any pride that is encouraging independence from total trust in God.
Os Hillman

Virginia Tech - 2

From my Oriental friend, a student at Virgina Tech, comes this report.

This semester will be end next week. So soon. At VA Tech, God turned a bad thing into good things. Recently, there are many Christian activities. It seems that everyone is looking for God and ask him questions. Many students think about Jesus serious now. So many people visit the Tech students' Christian website. Many pastors came to Tech too, including Louie Giglio from the Passion movement and Philip Yancey, etc. I heard a few students became Christians recently. God is our hope. With him, everyplace is safe. Without him, no place is safe. May the Christian "movement" spread to other colleges.

In Christ!

JOy

Black Ice Miracle

A Miracle - Lady Luck – Supernatural Happening – Whatever you want to call it, one always go back to where credit is due, and that it truly is a miracle of God. Some things just can’t be explained in any other way. In 79 years of varied experiences of life, raising a family of 6 children, and being a pastor’s wife for 35 years, it has become very evident that God is a miracle-working God and that both this pastor’s family and the churches have been privileged to be participants. It is exciting and rewarding to read of all the miracles in the Bible and listen to testimonies of miracles in people’s lives, but actually experiencing an unexplainable happening is beyond explanation.

The February 5, 1976 edition of the Clearwater Tribune had an article entitled “Car Rides Guardrail.” Because of the driver’s unconsciousness after the first impact of the car slamming into the guardrail, most of the facts have had to come from other sources.

One Saturday morning there was a scheduled practice in Lewiston, Idaho for a teen “Yes” choir practice. Highway 12 from Orofino, the starting point of the trip, to Lewiston followed very closely to the Clearwater River which was in its ice-breakup stage, which meant it was crowded with huge chunks of ice, some as large as a car. Following the many curves of that highway, there suddenly appeared a shaded area that was evidently covered with black ice. Before anyone knew what was happening, the car and passengers were in the merciless hands of a dire situation.

Since this was before seat-belts were mandatory, both occupants of the car were crunched under the dashboard of that Subaru sports car. This alone was a miracle because after seeing what happened to the car, no one was expected to be alive. No one knows what hit the driver’s head, but it was soon found out that the steering wheel did a lot of damage to the defenseless body. This is what the newspaper article had to say: “….. a 1975 Subaru being driven west by DeLoris Flowers went out of control on ice about three-tenths of a mile east of Lenore. The car struck a guardrail, bouncing on top of it and sliding about 60 feet on top of the rail before rolling off onto its top and sliding about 100 feet on the highway. After the car came to a halt Mrs. Flowers and her only passenger, a daughter, Joanne 17, climbed through one of the car’s shattered side windows……..”
While slowly trying to regain consciousness, Mrs. Flowers heard a faint sound of a voice saying, “come on, mamma. Let’s get out of here.” About this time she had a very vague sense of seeing a spot of grey movement that somehow was followed out of the wreck. It was her daughter Joanne in the new grey coat she had gotten as a Christmas present. There is no recollection of getting out of the wreck, but obviously it happened. The driver’s world was swirling, even the wheels on the upside-down car were still spinning. A neighbor on the hill saw and heard the wreck and called for help. According to the newspaper, there were 6 more accidents within a quarter of a mile of each other. The Subaru was just the first.

While sitting in the patrol car waiting for help, the officer looked in his rear-view mirror and he was heard to say, “There goes another one.”

The miracle – well – the car could have easily fallen into the river side of the guard rail from which there would have been no escape because of the movement of the huge ice chunks. The car and passengers would have been swallowed up in a hurry.

The doctor warned that there would be extreme pain for a long, long, time and during the healing process, which truly turned out to be a very long, long time, it was very evident that the doctor knew what he was predicting. The driver’s head and whole body hurt to the extent that pain pills could not stop the misery. There were pains in parts of the body that normally one would not even know existed. What happened to Joanne? She had some minor cuts in her hands and that is all. The steering wheel couldn’t get to her and she remained conscious the whole time. She recalls looking “up” from the vehicle as it swirled upside down on the icy road seeing the guard rail going past, then no guard rail, and then the guard rail again, and she watched this scenario until the movement stopped and escape was made possible.

There can be no other explanation other than a miracle and that God had other things in mind for a mother and daughter.

I would have to say I qained a lot for myself and my family. (1) lots of patience and waiting for God's timing and not mine during the 6 months of recuperation. Loss of time. (2) an understanding of other people's problems that are out of human control. When they seem to lose. (3) God's time table and road map are not necessarily what we would deem important. Loss of priorities (4) God gives and takes as He sees best. God took our two and a half year old grandson in a drowning, but He let us keep Joanne. I don't know how to really explain that I have a firm belief that what we consider a loss, is actually a gain for us and for God. "Loss" is a word that is always up for interpretation.

I might add that there was a bit of fun during that time - I was nick named Evel Knievel for having road the guard rail for that long before falling off.
Dee Flowers

Brokenness is Strength

A Biblical oxymoron exists. 1 Samuel 2:4 tells us, "The bows of the warriors are broken, but those who stumbled are armed with strength." The Bible says that brokenness is strength. How can this be? How can brokenness be strength?

In order to use men and women to their fullest extent, the Lord has to break His servants of self-sufficiency so that they might have a new kind of strength that is not human in origin. It is strength in spirit that is born only through brokenness. Paul was broken on the Damascus road. Peter was broken after Jesus was taken prisoner. Jacob was broken at Peniel. David was broken after his sin with Bathsheba. The list could go on of those the Lord had to break in different ways before they could be used in the Kingdom.

When we are broken, we see the frailty of human strength and come to grips with the reality that we can do nothing in our own strength. Then, new strength emerges that God uses mightily. "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Do not fear brokenness. For it may be the missing ingredient to a life that emerges with a new kind of strength and experience not known before. Pray for a broken and contrite heart that God can bless. If you are in the process of brokenness, take hope that the experience is being used by God in your life to transition you into an even more effective, content, peaceful and joyful Christian life. GAIN THROUGH LOSS!
Adapted from Os Hillman

Toney Dungy - 2

Tony Dungy: Christian and coach of the Super Bowl Champs. I’m impressed more and more as I hear about the man. Rick Reilly writes about him in a Sports Illustrated article “Coaching the Grief-stricken.” The following is adapted from that article.

I have this friend, Mark Lemke, an Iowa truck-driver who nominated his son, Cory, for FACES IN THE CROWD because of his golf prowess and because he had just died in a motorcycle wreck. In speaking with Mark, he wept as he told me about losing his best pal. I made up a FACES IN THE CROWD box for Cory and stuck it at the bottom of the column.

A couple of months go by and then Mark gets this call: “Mr. Lemke?” the voice says. “It’s Tony Dungy.” Now, Lemke, 51, is just an ex-jock with a simple life that a motorcycle drove a hole through. The most he hopes for when he gets off the road is his wife Maud’s sloppy joes and his favorate couch and maybe a frosty root beer and a Vikings game to take his mind off Cory for a few hours. So Naturally he figures the call is a joke.

“No, it IS Tony Dungy,” the voice says. “I’m just calling to offer my condolences to you and see if there’s anything I can do to help you.” Now you’ve got to understand, this was in October. The Colts were into the teeth of their schedule, the most critical season in Dungy’s life, not to mention Peyton Manning’s, not to mention the millions of Colts fans.

But Dungy has his own sorrow to swallow. His 18-year-od son, James, hanged himself three days before Christmas in 2005. And Lemke knew this. So maybe Dungy is a guy who can relate. They talk and the coach tells Lemke to keep in touch. Soon they’ve got a bond going. With all Dungy’s responsibilities he answers every Lemke e-mail and returns every call. They go deep sometimes. Lemke gets hot at God for taking Cory. Dungy tells him that’s normal, but he adds that if they keep their faith, “we’ll see them again.”

Next thing you know, the Colts are in the Super Bowl and Dungy is inviting a man he’s never met, a Vikings fan, no less, to be his guest there. So Lemke finds a load that needs hauling to Florida and a load that has to come back, and he drives his 18-wheel rig to Miami. The day before the game he meets Dungy in person at the team hotel. They hug. They visit. They pray. The next day Lemke takes his seat in Dolphin Stadium and watches his new buddy win it all.

Besides Lemke, there are others. The former high school coach from Wisconsin who’s son took his own life. The young kid in Indianapolis who lost his mother and brother in a car wreck Heart-broken people all over are suddenly getting a hand up from a man who himself should be a puddle but is instead a river of strength.

Coach Dungy's loss and become many people's gain.

DIGGING DEEPLY

Plants that live in an arid climate, drive roots deep into soil to get the moisture they need for sustaining life. This forces the plant to develop a root system that is far beyond the normal plant because it is forced to go deeper to gain the water it needs.

And humanly speaking, it is often the arid times, the times of the desert, the dark night of the soul, where God takes us to a position of digging deeper into His resources of love, grace, mercy and empowerment. It seems as though most of us don’t grow in our connection with God when times are prosperous. It is the tough times that get our spiritual attention, showing us our need for that ever deepening intimacy with the Father.

The result? “Do you want more and more of God’s kindness and peace? Then learn to know Him better and better. For as you know Him better, He will give you, through His great power, everything you need for living a truly good life: He even shares His own glory and His own goodness with us. And by that same mighty power He has given us all the other rich and wonderful blessings He promised; for instance, the promise to save us from the lust and rottenness all around us and to give us His own character.” 2 Peter 1:2-4