Learn from the past - press on

2011 is completed. 2012 has begun. What a whirlwind the last 14 months have been for us. The move from Idaho can best be catergorized by the word “loss.” Loss of a significant amount of money on the sale of our house. Loss of a favored position in the community. Loss of many close friends…of a good pastor and church…relationship with the NNU basketball team. But most of all, loss of an intimate and healthy relationship with a few authentic, vulnerable sharp men who were encouraging accountability partners.What an awesome, profitable exerience.


Then there has been loss while living in Kentucky. Had to get legal help to fight the county to be able to build. The 4-wheeler accident that has permanently damaged nerves in leg and foot. Loss of driving…of the Pontiac Solstice sports car. There is a long list of losses, but that’s enough to expose. I’ll begin feeling sorry for myself if I linger on those thoughts.

The name of this blog is “gain through loss.” As I put 2011 to bed and look to 2012, my focus must be, not the losses, but the gain that has and is taking place through these losses.

So I look back to 2011 just long enough to make sure I am learning all I can learn from the year’s experiences. What is my gain through the loss? I don’t have all the answers yet, but here is a sampling:

• I’ve learned that to be dependent on others where I can’t function myself is a ministry in itself. People are being blessed by giving of themselves to help me keep my balance, help me up when I fall, button my shirt, these being Parkinson’s challenges. That is quite a switch for this ol’ independent Estonian-Norwegian.

• For the past 30 years, I have been trying to shift from a “performance-orientation for approval” person to one who works hard but building relationships is top priority. (The great commandment: Love the Lord, your neighbor and yourself.) Stuttering has become so profuse that any speaking performance is out. Parkinson’s and the 4-wheeler accident removes much physical performance. Becoming free from the stress of feeling I need to perform is certainly a “gain.”

• I am learning to appreciate a nurturing person as well as a Type A, go get ‘em type. Kristin, our daughter through Theresa, is not known as a Type A personality. But is she ever a giving, loving, nurturing woman. During my month-long stay in the hospital she played a sigfnificant role in my care-getting, even pulling a messy bathroom ordeal. Then when I was released from the hospital, she and Keith gave up their master bedrom for us. And it would take me many pages to describe all she did for me (us), I am sooo grateful and have much respect for her. Her mother modeled selflessness for her and she has built upon it. My gain? Less judgemental, more accepting of people who present differently than I do.



• Another gain is the opportunity to build a relationship with my son while he is experiencing some significant life stressors. He lives with his 4 children about 25 minutes away.

• I am learning at a deeper level the value of having an attitde of gratitude. If there is one characteristic that has seen me through the stress of these 14 months it is this:”give thanks in and for all things.” You might ask , “give thanks that you can’t button your shirts?” “yes,” I reply. “when I can’t get my fingers to work on a button, it draws another person closer to me.”

“Give thanks for fracturing a rib from a fall?”

“Yes, some of those falls could have been disastorous. Like the time I fell into the fireplace.”

It is not dwelling on the hurtful event. And it‘s not just putting another spin on the hurtful event. It is legitimate, honest gratitude to the supreme being who can do anything. Like preventing Parkinsons’ … or whatever your situation is.

I’m finding that even making it to the bathroom on time is a big Thankyou Lord.



There is more but that’s enough for now. “All things work together for good to those who love the Lord. ..” GAIN THROUGH LOSS