Gain Through Loss

“No rest for the wicked,” some say. That would be the only sign of no wickedness In me. All I’m getting is rest since the four-wheeler accident of nearly 3 years. My schedule of that time to this has seen a drastic change. I was accustomed to ten to fifteen hours of work a day. Now, 5 to 6 is tops.

“That should give you plenty of time to blog,” I am told.” We haven’t seen a blog for some time.” The accident plus Parkinson’s disease with its accelerating symptoms and multiple surgeries has relegated me to plenty of rest.  Two reasons loom out in my mind why I haven’t blogged consistently:  

• my typing has gone south.   Not being able to type as I was used to has interfered with getting my thoughts on paper
• And I’ve grown undisciplined.  But I’ve sure learned a lot! 

One of the things I’ve learned is that much of my furious activity has been for approval.  People will like me more if they see great production from me.  What a weighty sack of idolatry on my shoulders! To change this for a more relaxed mind-set has been quite a challenge.

Another major lesson: I have always been a very disciplined person…especially for a daily, concentrated time with God…study and prayer. During this time of high learning curve lack of self-discipline has been very evident here also. My erroneous thinking was “I don’t need to have a q.t. to please God. I can enjoy fellowship with Him on the run.” I found my inner strength dwindling. His voice to me –diminishing. Being a disciple of Christ implies that part of the relationship means discipline. The Big D is returning but for a healthier reason – out of love for God, not for His approval or for discipline’s sake.