Football and Marriage - 3

This is our last posting on football and marriage, swiped from Jon Strain.
Scoring: Understand that men and women score differently in marriage.
How men score: Men think certain things produce 6 points, others 3 points. For example…

Taking out the trash 0 points
Romantic dinner 15 points
Pick up your clothes 0 points
Surprise trip to Hawaii 30 points
Buy a big house 35 points
An unexpected hug 1 point

How women score: You only get one point for all things, big or small. For example

Taking out the trash 1 point
Romantic dinner 1 point
Pick up your clothes 1 point
Surprise trip to Hawaii 1 point
Buy a big house 1 point
An unexpected hug 1 point

Implications for the man as quarterback of the team:
1. To win, you have to score throughout the game, and doing the “little things” is a Big thing.
2.You can’t come from behind (35 points in the fourth quarter) and expect to win.
3. The woman’s scoring system is the only one that determines a “W” or and “L”.
4. If you don’t “get it” and build this into your Game Plan you’ll have a rought first half and may not make the second quarter. If you “get it” you’re pretty much guaranteed a “W”. Every Hall of Fame husband, marriage coach and wife knows this. Do you get it?
5. P.S. Forgetting important dates like birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, mothers’ day, etc. is a “safety” – two points against you. In this scoring economy, you can’t afford them.

Family Planning (With the USC fan in mind.)
Remember the Trojans as they are useful for family planning. (Does this need to be explained? What kind of team would name themselves after a prophylactic?)
It’s football season. In marriage it is always football season according to Jon Strain.

I would add to Jon’s metaphor.
A touchdown is scored when the man says, “honey, take the weekend off. I’ll take care of all your responsibilities around the house.” A WOMAN’S TOUCHDOWN is her saying, “Let’s be intimate.”
Extra points: To score an extra point after a touchdown is made, the ball must be kicked through the two uprights. Men, we score an extra point if we know what pleases our wife and we do that something for her unexpectedly. Women, you know what to do to score an extra point with your husband. Need I say more?