Bonhoeffer on Community - 2

Bonhoeffer evaluates and contrasts two types of community: the spiritual versus the psychic or human.

Spiritual: based on truth; human: based on desire
Spiritual: called by Christ. human: fellowship of devout goals
Spiritual; love is agape – brotherly service; humn love is eros, desire for pleasure.
Spiritual: Word of God rules; human: leader has exceptional powers.
Spiritual: the Spirit governs; human: psychological techniques and methods rule.

Human love seeks direct contact with the other person but does not serve.
Spiritual love is bound soley to the Word of Christ, doing what He guides. (I believe one’s focus is then giving and not getting – a significant ingredient in the health of any relationship - especially marriage.

Before we moved to Kentucky, I was so blessed to be part of a "once a week community" in Nampa, Idaho. It wasn't a residential community as we are examining, but how graphically these tenets of Bonhoeffer were at play - successfully. I sure miss those men. The Band of Brothers!

Next we'lll look at how Bonhoeffer suggests a daily community schedule.

Bonhoeffer on Community

I've just finished reading, Life Together – The Ckassic Exploration of Christian Community by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I commend it to anyone thinking of living in community. Some of his thoughts: “When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.”
Though Bonhoeffer didn't use this mantra as a requirement for living in community, dying to all selfish ambition or self absorption is bottom line requirement for a successful experience in community living. If everyone in the community had that personal philosoophy - thinking of the best for everyone else - how productive would be that group.

I'm in that kind of community now. Our daughter Kristin, is the epitome of desiring the best for all concerned, followed closely by her mother. Kris's hubby comes in third and I bring up the rear. The five children are learning!!! Their prayer for each meal usually includes, "And God, please help grandpa's leg to heal." They cheered for me the other day as I took my first steps without hanging on to something. My new APO is working wonders. It is called an Ipsolon (if that is spelled correctly.) It is a brace that is very supportive.

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethern to dwell together in unity:” Ps.133:1
Bonhoeffer believes in the ocmmunity but is againt the cloistered: "The Christian belongs not in the seclusion of a cloistered life but in the thick of foes…to bring peace to the enemies of God."

Bonhoeffer challenges us regarding "THE GOAL OF ALL CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY:
God has put His Word into the mouth of men in order that it may be communicated to other men. When one person is struck by the Word, he speaks it to others. God has willed that we should seek and find His living Word in he witness of a brother, in the mouth of man.. Therefore the Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged, for by himself he cannot help himself without belying the truth. He needs his brother man as a bearer and proclaimer of the divine word.

"God hates visionary dreaming; it makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others and by himself. He enters the community of Chrsitians with his demands, sets up his own law and judges the brethren and God Himself accordingly.

"When sin and misunderstanding burden the communal life, is not the sinning brother still a brother, with whom I, too, stand under the Word of Christ? Will not his sin be a constant occasion for me to give thanks that both of us may live in the forgiving love of God in Jesus Christ? Thus the very hour of disillusionment with my brother becomes incomparably salutary, because it so thoroughly teaches me that neither of us us can live by our own words and deeds, but only by that one Word.

"Only he who gives thanks in the little things receives the big things. We prevent God from giving us the great spiritual gifts He has in store for us, because we do not give thanks for daily gifts. How can God entrust great things to one who will not thankfully receive from Him the little thingss. The more thankfully we daily receive what is given, the more surely and steadily will fellowship increase and grow from day to day as God pleases."

More from Bonhoeffer to come.

Community Living in Scripture

Why are youi spending so much time on the topic: “Living in Community” Burwick. Cuz
1 That is where I currently find myself and this is foreign terriroty to me. I need to know about it as much a possible.
2.You may not be living in community now, but you know not what tomorrow brings. It could be economic disaster where you are forced to share living expenses with someone else; or,
3. You have an adult som / daughter moving back in with you, or…

Let’s examine Biblical communities
Background for the first community living demonstrated in the Book of Acts chapter 2; 1 On the day of Pentecost all the believers were meeting together in one place. 2 Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm, and it filled the house where they were sitting. 3 Then, what looked like flames or tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them. 4 And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in other languages, as the Holy Spirit gave them this ability.

Peter then preaches a convicting sermon with the results recorded in verse 41: Those who believed what Peter said were baptized and added to the church that day—about 3,000 in all.

The Believers Form a Community
42 All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper, and to prayer.
43 A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. 44 And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. 45 They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. 46 They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity[j]—47 all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.

Notice the focus: apostles teaching, fellowship, sharing meals, Lord’s Supper, prayer, met together in one place and shared everything they had (even selling all they had to share with those in need.) all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. The outpouring of the Spirit produced not just momentary enthusiasm but four continuing commitments: to learn, to care, to fellowship and to worship. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.
32 All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had. 31 After this prayer, the meeting place shook, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit. Then they preached the word of God with boldness.

Luke, the author of Acts, portrays prayer as integral to the church's life (compare 4:24; 6:4; 12:5; 13:3; 20:36). Prayer, then preaching.
It appears that this “FirstChurch of Acts” is the model for most if not all groups with a religious theme - the Dominicans and Franciscans and others. Even weird groups like Jim Jones and his koolaid killing cult had dimensions of this church in Acts.

Characteristics of Community Living in First Church of Acts that can apply to living in community now are:

1 Significance of the group over the individual. Selfish agendas applied with deceit, as in the case of Ananias and Sapphira, met with death. In like manner, selfishness “kills” relational harmony and unity.

2. The focal point was obvious: “More and more there were being added to the Lord those who believed [those who acknowledged Jesus as their Savior and devoted themselves to Him joined and gathered with them], crowds both of men and of women,” For a community to be successful, a common focus is necessary. For the First “Church of Acts” spotlight was evangelism.

3. The mission was clear: a devotion to the apostles’ teaching, to fellowship, to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper, and to prayer.

4. Selfless sensitivity: (even selling all they had to share with those in need.)

5. Intentionality to unity: 32 All the believers were united in heart and mind.
We csn observe today’s growing churchs manifesting the pattern of the first church: celebration, joining in large gatherings for worship and instruction, and small group, meeting in home groups for fellowship and nurture.

Gary wrote about some Biblical relationships which tended to point to community.
Cain and Abel in field together, first example of living in community as was common with farming/ranching/home crafts in US through first half of last century.

Celebration and purification Job and offspring, while flocks caused them to range, they did spend family time together when possible 4 Job’s sons would take turns preparing feasts in their homes, and they would also invite their three sisters to celebrate with them. 5 When these celebrations ended—sometimes after several days—Job would purify his children. He would get up early in the morning and offer a burnt offering for each of them. For Job said to himself, “Perhaps my children have sinned and have cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s regular practice 4

Issac took Rebekah into his mother’s bed, indication of sharing quarters between generations
Nomadic community of Jacob and sons, Jacob and sons communed together, stayed close and acted as community for common welfare; tending flocks, going to Egypt for food, protective of family before Joseph

Jesus in Peter’s home where Peter’s mother lived

Disciples in Barnabas’s home with extended family
These are all examples of the different types of living in community displayed in Scripture.

Misc. Confrontation Thoughts CL 10

When Not to Confront

Let’s finish the concept of confrontation in community living with the following sundry thoughts.
1. Who? Though the Galatians 6 confrontation passage is written to followers of Christ, a non-believer in Christ can benefit from following Biblical principles.

2. Don’t confront if a person is acting like swine or like a dog. Matthew 7:6 Do not give that which is holy (the sacred thing) to the dogs, and do not throw your pearls before hogs, lest they trample upon them with their feet and turn and tear you in pieces. Prov. 26:11 As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool returns to his folly. Prov.13:18 Poverty and shame come to him who refuses instruction and correction, but he who heeds reproof is honored.

“The sacred thing.” Not much more sacred than leading a person out of some sinful attitude or behavior. If by observing his / her behavior, it is obvious the role of dog or swine is being played, a confrontation will only aggravate the sinful pattern and the confronter will be blasted.

3. Pastor / elder needs a dual approach. 1 Tim.5:19-20 indicates that if a pastor is to be confronted there is need for two or three witnesses. If he persists in sin, he is to be rebuked and admonished before the whole church.

4. Listen to that still quiet voice of the Holy Spirit. If He prompts to hold off, obviously do so. Make sure though that it isn’t your own fear of the possible altercation.

5. Check yourself. Are you facing the log in y our own eye and beginning resolution so that the approach to the one confronted will be done gently and with humility?

Biblical Confrontive Examples

Matt. 5 :23-24 If there is conflict between.
Matt. 18:15-18 The process
Titus 3:10 – kick out a fratious person
1 Cor. 5 sex with step mom

Who not to confront
Prov.9:7-9 Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return.
Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. 8 So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise,
and they will love you. 9 Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more.

If confrontaion isn’t accepted

Proverbs 10:8 8 The wise are glad to be instructed, but babbling fools fall flat on their faces.
Prov. 10:14Wise people treasure knowledge,but the babbling of a fool invites disaster
Pro.12:15 Fools think their own way is right,but the wise listen to others. The prudent understand where they are going,but fools deceive themselves.
Proverbs 14:9 Fools make fun of guilt,but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation.
Proverbs 18:2 Fools have no interest in understanding;they only want to air their own opinions.

Value of Confrontation CL 9

CONFRONTATION the giving and receiving of a gentle, humble constructive criticism, meant to encourage and build up the receiver. Its value:

Psa.141:5 Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it.

Pr. 25:12 To one who listens, valid criticism is like a gold earring or other gold jewelry

Pr.27:5 An open rebuke is better than hidden love!

The value of confrontation is basically two fold – to enhance the harmony of the group and to augment the person’s growth process. To the person who has a teachable spirit, a well-placed confrontation can save a life.A friend might be getting too cozy with another man’s wife and not even realize it. A humble, gentle warning can save a marriage – maybe two) along with sparing a lot of heartache on the children and people close to the one being confronted, Confrontation: for personal growth and for building unity in the body.

To disdain reproof is stupid and short-sighted
Pro. 12:1 To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.

Pro.29:1 Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery.

In summary, reproof, correction, confrontation – whatever you want to call it – is not only a good suggestion from Scripture but is commanded, “lest you be guilty of that same sin.” Accepting confrontation makes a person wiser, healthier and more productive. To refuse it is the making of a fool.

Confrontation revisited - CL 8

View from our bedroom window.

Visit with me again that difficult concept of, “Confrontation is necessary for the success of community living.” Instead of our Galatiians 6 gentle and humble approach, confrontation is often a war of words followed by a schism in the relationship. Or, the opposite – no discussion just repression (bottling it up inside). Results? Explosion or implosion. Either leads to an adversarial rupture in harmonioua community living.

We’re operating under the premise that the Bible gives us guidelines, telling us how to live and die succesfully. Does it say more about confrontation? As we would say in North Dakota, “Ya shore, you betcha.” Check these out.

Luke 17:3 So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.

Eph. 5:11 Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them.

! Tim. 5:20 Those (pastors / elders) who sin should be reprimanded in front of the whole church; this will serve as a strong warning to others.

2 Tim.4:2 Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching.

Tit.1:13, 2:15 So reprimand them sternly to make them strong in the faith. So reprimand them sternly to make them strong in the faith.(Same words from two different chapters.) - You must teach these things and encourage the believers to do them. You have the authority to correct them when necessary, so don’t let anyone disregard what you say – the words of St. Paul

And, in the Old Testament..
Leviticus 19:17 17 “Do not nurse hatred in your heart for any of your relatives. Confront people directly so you will not be held guilty for their sin.
Am I my brother’s keeper? Sure looks that way !
And remember, the best way to confront, especially in community living, is found in Galatians 6.

Living in Community - 7

I made too many misakes as a father, I don’t want to blow this fresh opportnity. No, Theresa, my 65 year old wife is not pregnant. And as far as adoption goes, we’ll leave that to our daughter Kristin, who along with husband Keith are adopting 2 special needs kids from Bulgaria – a boy with downs and a girl with spina bifada

The fresh opportunity is refered to in community living as “sandwich”. Theresa and I are the bottom piece of bread in a sandwich comprised of Kris and Keith being the “business” – the meat, if you will. Their children are the top slice of bread. We moved to Kentucky at the time they moved from Texas. In that way Theresa and I can be close to one of her children (Kristin) and one of mine (R ay).

We had planned to live in our 21 foot RV on the 54 acres with space betweeen our RV and their house. We’d keep this arrangement until our house was built. That wasn’t to be. My ATV accident and subsequent lengthy hospital stay along with Theresa’s beoming terribly sick forced us to accept their invitation to stay with them in their house.

We would never have chosen this arrangement. We are typical Americans bent toward independence. We were forced into the sandwich by the accident and sickness. And WHAT A GODSEND. They gave up their spacious bedroom for our quarters. They both have been the epitome of selfless love, caring for a very sick mother and invalid dad. They are demonstrating community living Book of Acts style to the fullest. Oh, they haven’t sold all and distributed to the poor as in post-resurrection time. But their attitude is: “what’s ours is for you to enjoy,:” From Gator sports vehicle to bedroom. What a gift to Theresa and me. We are sooooo grateful.

But there are challnges jujst as there are when any two or more people connect and endevor to build relationship. For us though the challenges are quite minimal. Communication including confrontation (Galatians 6 model) has been one key. The other significant arena is putting a kabosh to selfish expecttions.

In our sandwich situation, I’m endeavoring to give more intentional time and encouragement to children and grandchildren, having learned from the first go-around where performance superceded relationship.

Living in Community - 6

Summarizing our six post study, successful living in community, whether it is comprised of adult child coming back to live or an organized group like the Dominicans, productive confrontation is necessary for maintaining strong relationships leading to purpose, unity and harmony of the Body.

Galatians 6 is our model. Confrontation begins within a Body when the person doing the confronting first faces him(her) self. The humility and gentleness in which the concerns are shared is derived from healthy self-examination that produces repentance and from a desire to help carry the burden of the one confronted. No room for a judgmental spirit in that scenario.

What would have happened to the three women if they had not responded to Fred? Proverbs 13:18 presents the case clearly: Poverty and shame shall be to him who refuses instruction and correction, but he who heeds reproof shall be honored. In our case study “poverty and shame” would be connected to impaired relationships… not just with Fred but people in general.

Fred’s counselor gave him homework. He was encouraged to meditate on and memorize the following significant supportive passages for Galatians 6.

Supportive passages for verse 1:
Romans 12:4-5 Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5 so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.

Galatians 5:16, 22-26 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 25 Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. 26 Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.

Ephesians 4:2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

Humility:
Proverbs 22:4 True humility and fear of the LORD lead to riches, honor, and long life. 29:23 Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.

Isa. 57:15 The high and lofty one who lives in eternity, the Holy One, says this: “I live in the high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble. I restore the crushed spirit of the humble and revive the courage of those with repentant hearts.

Matthew 28:4 So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Romans 12:3, 10 Because of the privilege and authority[a] God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.

1 Peter 5:5 In the same way, …all of you, serve each other in humility, for “God opposes the proud but favors the humble.”

Supportive passages for Christ’s law of love – verse 2.
Luke 10:27 “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

1 Peter 4:8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

Supportive passages for having an exaggerated opinion of oneself – vs. 3.
Romans 12:3, 16 Because of the privilege and authority[a] God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.[ Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!
Supportive passages for verses 4 and 5 – taking personal responsibility:
Matt.7:3-5 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye[a] when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.

2 Cor.13:5 Examine yourselves to see if your faith is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is among you[a]; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith.

1 Cor.11:28 That is why you should examine yourself before eating the bread and drinking the cup.

The meditation and memorizing of Scripture leads to successful living and dying.
(Joshua 1:8; Psalm 119; 2 Timothy 3:16-17; Hebrews 4:8)

An after thought : The Message Bible gives an interesting flavor to the Galatians 6 passage’”
Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ's law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.
4-5Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.

Living in Community - 5

Yesterday, our first "date" in two months.

Picking up where we left off in Galatians 6:

3 If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important Carrying a prideful spirit that looks down on another usually comes across as very judgmental. The observations of the confrontation may be accurate but if ministered in pride, the value is nada, nyet, of negative value.

. 4 Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. 5 For we are each responsible for our own conduct.
The Godly confrontation process has taken a 90 degree turn, from pointing out what needs to be changed in the other person to focusing on carrying the other’s burden. The spotlight now is facing oneself.

Fred was encouraged to come to grips with his own issues and process them Biblically. The temper had to begin to see a shift to patience and gentleness. Selfishness must be faced and “killed.” The drastic change the women saw in Fred softened their hearts toward him. Later , when he did talk to them about the burden they carried, they felt that he was really with them and caring for them. The confrontation, ministered from a stance of humility and gentleness, bore much fruit. Even Fred’s passive dad spent more quality time at home. It was now a pleasant place in which to reside.

In summary, productive confrontation as seen in Galatians 6 begins within a Body of Believers when the person doing the confronting first faces him(her) self. The humility and gentleness in which the concerns are shared is derived from healthy self-examination that produces repentance and from a desire to help carry the burden of the one confrontred. No room for a judgmental spirit in that scenario.

What would have happened to the three women if they had not responded to fred? Proverbs 13:18 presents the case clearly: Poverty and shame shall be to him who refuses instruction and correction, but he who heeds reproof shall be honored. In our case study “poverty and shame” would be connected to impaired relationships… not just with Fred but people in general.

Fred's counselor gave him homework. That's for the next post.

Living in community - 4

Yesterday's post gave us the first guide to successful confrontation - administered with gentleness and humility. We continue in Galatians 6, learning how confrontation, done God's way will be a necesary component in successful community living.

“And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.” Which Fred had done. He had become critical and controlling like his mother, wife and sister. They could have legitimately reversed charges and been right on. The confrontation would have been of little, if any, value.

We are out of chapter six verse one and into verse 2. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. What is the law of Christ? Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength and your neihbor as yourself. If a person who is living in community is overtaken by a sinful behavior or attitude, it is definitely a burden for the person and the community. A humble and gentle confrontion to one with a receptive spirit will release personal and corporate burden. If a receptive spirit doesn't exist, confrontive strategy changes and that will be discussed later.

to be continued.

Living in Community - 3

Becoming a Ken-tuckee heal-bealee

To those of you who are following my medical status:the knee is weak, a little stiff and doesn't seem to be a problem. An EMG yesterday revealed nerve damage from the knee down with a couple inches of nerve rejuvination below the knee. Will appreciate your prayers for the nerves to keep growing to get an angry foot and ankle functioning again.

Back to the story of Fred, living in community with 3 critical and controling women (sister, mother and wife. He is in the counselor's office being challenged to study Galatians 6 which is like a road map to successful community living, addressing conflict resolution.

Galatians 6:1 begins with, Brothers and sisters, if another believer. This passage is written to believers in and followers of Jesus Christ. The Church. A Body of Believers as described in Romans 12:4-5. Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. A healthy, positive atmosphere results when a Body of Believers can function under the following five verses guideline. Fred’s response was, “We belong to each other because we are blood. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t even want to be around each other. We are a mess.”

Galatians 6:1 continues with: “If another believer is overcome by some sin,” What is”sin?” The Bible has a number of definitions that can be best summed up with “missing the mark of living a holy life as described by the Bible.” Our sin nailed Christ to the cross, and Romans 6:23 tells us that the wages of sin is death. In our study, death to personal and corporate peace and harmony… that for which community living yearns.

“Overcome,” some versions say “overtaken”. The implication is, for example when gossip, lust or envy have become a chronic pattern, the one overtaken by that pattern is harming himself. The rest of the Body is also affected. Not good for living in Community. So, not for an isolated sin, but confrontation for a pattern of sin. A chronic critical spirit. Laziness. Gossip. Prideful spirit. Fred’s temper. A persistent sin (fault) must not be allowed to polute the person’s mind or the community. Galatians 6:1 has more:

“You who are godly(some versions say ‘spiritual’) should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path.” “Well,” Fred relied. “That leaves me out. To say that I am spiritual and godly would be a real pride trip. I’m not even sure what that means and who would qualify.”

The counselor pointed Fred to Galatians chapter 5 which is a clear description of a spiritual man versus a person living for self.”Based on that description of a spiritual person, would you “ qualify" Fred was asked. His response was to the affirmitive. “I can’tsay I’ve reached all those qualities of a spiritual man, but that is my desire.”

Thus, we observe here the first parameter in Godly confrontation…carried out gently and humbly. If you are anxious to confront, you are most likely not ready to do so. A prideful controlling spirit would be evident. Resistance to the confrontation would be the result.

Anxious to continue walking with Fred in the next post.

Living in Community - 2

Continuing the Fred versus three contolling women in his home saga from yesterday's post.

Personal faults and sins contaminate living in community in addition to being destructive to the holder. Such must be faced and resolved. Honing communication skills was of utmost importance for Fred and his family but even more important was the fine tuning of relational attitudes.

Fred sought counseling, saying, “What can we do about the three women in our home? MY temper explodes in response to their critical and controlling attitudes.” The counselor challenged him with the idea that they weren’t the cause of his temper. They just revealed what was inside and directed him to Galatians chapter six which provides a God-ordained plan for lovingly and encouragingly confronting faults that can pollute body life – personal and corporate… for Fred and his three living community women.

The counselor unashamably relied heavily on Scripture, having having found it to be true, that as Joshua 1:8 claims, “meditating on the Word and doing what it says brings success and prosperity.” For successful community living there needs to be healthy, positive confrontation. The counselor and Fred examined what God through Paul said about confrontation in Galatians six.

From the New Living Translation:
Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. 2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. 3 If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. 4 Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. 5 For we are each responsible for our own conduct.

Fred was encouraged to tear this apart with the counselor for deeper understandng. We'll examine that in the next post.

Community living - 1

Been studying different groups that live in community - Franciscans, Dominicans, Bblical examples and others. What a wide array of groupings from very loose to strict adherence of rules. I'm not so much interested in the mission of a group at this point, as I am HOW DO THEY GET ALONG. Whether it is a 25 year-old coming back home to live, an elderly parent needing to move in with an adult child, or two families moving in together to make ends meet. HOW DO THEY GET ALONG PRODUCTIVELY?

The first challenge seems to be conflict resolution... something is going on that I don't like. How is that resolved?

Been into Galatians 6 lately. Great stuff regarding confrontation. Examine it with me for a while.

I'll lay the backdrop for the study beginning in the next post.


“Who are you to tell me there is sin in my life? You’re not so holy yourself.”
Fred, an occupant of a three generational family that lives together was tired of his critical, controlling, dominating sister always pointing out his faults. He continued, “can’t you see why at the age of 33 you’re still single? You are so critical and dominating, no man could stand to live with you.’

A response of this nature is too often the norm in confrontation. A sharp, critical and angry interchange ensues. Or too frequently the opposite extreme – represssion, stuffing confrontation so as not to cause hard feelings or experience rejection. Fred’s father was very passive. Though his mother, wife and daughter were very critical of him, he said nothing. TV and golf were his escapes. Fred didn’t want to be like his dad so he fought back.Temper was at times uncontrollable.

The desert: prep for living in community?

How does God get your attention when He wants to speak to you? Many of us are so busy doing good things that God must engineer circumstances so we can as the Psalmist said: "Be still and know that I am God."AS you read Scripture, you find God placing people in life's challenges to get their (our) attention.

As Os Hilman says, He knows that if He is to accomplish His deepest work, He must take us into the desert in order to give us the privilege to be used in His Kingdom. In the desert God changes us and removes things that hinder us. He forces us to draw deep upon His grace. The desert is only a season in our life. When He has accomplished what He wants in our lives in the desert, He will bring us out.

He has given us a mission to fulfill that can only be fulfilled after we have spent adequate time in preparation in the desert. Fear not the desert, for it is here you will hear God's voice like never before. It is here you will have the idols of your life removed. It is here you begin to experience the reality of a living God like never before. Someone once said, "God uses enlarged trials to produce enlarged saints so He can put them in enlarged places!"

I'm wondering if my "accident" that has me off my feet and pretty much confined to the house, was caused or allowed by God so that I could listen more intently to His voice.

I'm wondering what part "living in community" might play in my future. For many years I've thought of providing a retreat type place for people to R and R, for a weekend. A week. A month. Longer. Is this the training ground for that objective? I believe God loves me and has the best for me, inckuding this painful process - for a purpose. If I didn't believe that, I could easily become depressed and cynical.

Are you listening?

Thanks Kevin T for the suggestions to study community living. Have ordered Bonhoffer's book.

A Primer for Living in Community

My 4-wheeler accident, nearly 7 weeks ago, has "forced us" to live in the same house as our daughter and her family. A wheel chair doesn't work that well in a 20 foot RV. Kristin and Keith have "bent over backwards" to make the stay as pleasant as possibile - gave up their bedroom, taxied us all over Northern Kentucky plus all the other DETAILS of "community living.

We're told that many "twenty something year-olds" are returning home to live with parents. Some families couldn't make it financially if they couldn't be living with another family. Community living is becoming more pervalent in the US as it has been in countries like China for numerous years.

Made me do a Google search on community living. I found a vast array of examples, from the tri-plex in Seattle called Mustard Seed House, where it seemed the parameters were very flexable, to large groups of cult type and rigid structures that appeared very unhealthy.

The Bible's Joshua 1:8 tells us that as we meditate on and obey Scripture. we'll be successful. Consequently I wanted to know what the Bible has to say on community living. No place does it have the term "community living." But there is plenty written about relationships.

Do you have any specific thoughts on this topic? I'd like to explore this in the next few blogs. rburwick@mindspring.com.

VALUE OF ADVERSITY

At the left is a picture of a creek running through our property. Our application to build is now in the zoning "czar's" hand.


One of my favorate devotional bloggers, Os Hillman, writes: Seeing The Big Picture

..."Everything is against me!" - Genesis 42:36

Eventually, Benjamin along with Jacob's other sons learned that their brother Joseph was second in command in Egypt. Joseph revealed his identity, and Jacob was reunited with his son whom he had not seen for more than 13 years. He had thought Joseph to be dead.

So often we believe our dreams are dead. There seems to be nothing left in our world to live for. Everything appears to be against us. During these times, God is doing His deepest behind-the-scenes work. During these times, God is performing a deeper work in each of us -- a work that cannot be seen.

When clients began leaving my ad agency and it dried up for no apparent reason, it appeared "everything was against me." I could not see that God was orchestrating a whole new calling on my life. At the moment, it seemed like the worst thing in the world. It seemed that I had been a failure. But God said, "No." All the years before had been preparation for what God's ultimate calling would be. One of God's methods for directing His children's steps is through drying up resources: a job loss, a career change, or a disaster. In these times we are willing to listen more intently, and to seek God in ways we would not normally do. C.S. Lewis once wrote, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." [C.S.Lewis, The Problem of Pain (New York: Macmillan Publishing Company, 1962), 93.]


Theresa and I know that God is not only using her sickness and my "accident" to better prepare us for our grndparenting ministry, but we sense there is more, (besides our own character growth.)

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS / DESIRES

Thanks Susie H. for your words of encouragement and suggestion of Paul Brand's book "Pain: the Gift Nobody Wants." Joni Tada Erickson's book on pain is excellent. And C.S. Lewis's "The Problem of Pain" is an old classic.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! WHAT ARE YOUR DESIRES FOR YOUR PERSONAL GROWTH FOR 2011? NOT RESOLUTIONS (THEY ARE USUALLY INEFFECTIVE). BUT, DESIRES. WHEN I THINK OF THIS CHALLENGE, I'M REMINDED OF THE VALUE OF SCRIPTURE. WHAT DOES GOD DESIRE FOR ME? ONE PASSAGE THAT APPLIES IS 2 PETER CHAPTER 1.

3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.

FROM MY NEW WHEEL CHAIR POSITION I'M SEEING MORE CLEARLY THE VALUE OF SELFLESS mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.
KRISTIN (OUR DAUGHTER) AND HER FAMILY HAVE DEMONSTRATED TO THE HIGHEST EXTENT THIS GODLY QUALITY...GIVING UP THEIR BEDROOM FOR AN OLD INJURED JOCK AND HIS WIFE WHO HAS BEEN SICK FOR 3 WEEKS (FINALLY DIAGNOSED YESTERDAY AS AN INTESTINAL INFECTION), PLAYING TAXI DRIVER, NURSE MAID, MESS CLEANER-UPPER AND MORE..

THAT IS MY DEISRE: GROWTH IN SELFLESS LOVE.

WHAT IS YOUR PERSONAL GROWTH DESIRE FOR 2011?