When Not to Confront
Let’s finish the concept of confrontation in community living with the following sundry thoughts.
1. Who? Though the Galatians 6 confrontation passage is written to followers of Christ, a non-believer in Christ can benefit from following Biblical principles.
2. Don’t confront if a person is acting like swine or like a dog. Matthew 7:6 Do not give that which is holy (the sacred thing) to the dogs, and do not throw your pearls before hogs, lest they trample upon them with their feet and turn and tear you in pieces. Prov. 26:11 As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool returns to his folly. Prov.13:18 Poverty and shame come to him who refuses instruction and correction, but he who heeds reproof is honored.
“The sacred thing.” Not much more sacred than leading a person out of some sinful attitude or behavior. If by observing his / her behavior, it is obvious the role of dog or swine is being played, a confrontation will only aggravate the sinful pattern and the confronter will be blasted.
3. Pastor / elder needs a dual approach. 1 Tim.5:19-20 indicates that if a pastor is to be confronted there is need for two or three witnesses. If he persists in sin, he is to be rebuked and admonished before the whole church.
4. Listen to that still quiet voice of the Holy Spirit. If He prompts to hold off, obviously do so. Make sure though that it isn’t your own fear of the possible altercation.
5. Check yourself. Are you facing the log in y our own eye and beginning resolution so that the approach to the one confronted will be done gently and with humility?
Biblical Confrontive Examples
Matt. 5 :23-24 If there is conflict between.
Matt. 18:15-18 The process
Titus 3:10 – kick out a fratious person
1 Cor. 5 sex with step mom
Who not to confront
Prov.9:7-9 Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get an insult in return.
Anyone who corrects the wicked will get hurt. 8 So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise,
and they will love you. 9 Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more.
If confrontaion isn’t accepted
Proverbs 10:8 8 The wise are glad to be instructed, but babbling fools fall flat on their faces.
Prov. 10:14Wise people treasure knowledge,but the babbling of a fool invites disaster
Pro.12:15 Fools think their own way is right,but the wise listen to others. The prudent understand where they are going,but fools deceive themselves.
Proverbs 14:9 Fools make fun of guilt,but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation.
Proverbs 18:2 Fools have no interest in understanding;they only want to air their own opinions.
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