“Zedekiah was a hard and stubborn man, refusing to turn to the Lord” These were the first words I read as I asked God in my formal GC (God Connection) time where He wanted me to read this morning. It began with 2 Chronicles 36:13 regarding Zedekiah.
"I’m glad that doesn’t apply to me," I thought. "I may be hard and stuborn but I always turn to the Lord." Then that quiet little voice within said, “If you’re self centered you’re not turning to Me but to yourself.”
After Theresa and Keith’s confrontation of my self-centeredness (described in the last post), I’ve been more aware of it. I don’t know if it is a time of exaggerated self because of all the self thinking to combat the Parkinson's or if I’m feeling: “Parkinson’s symptoms are no longer creeping up on me, but seem to be lunging forward, so I’ve got to get it (what ever “it” is) done now before I lose my capacity to work. (Not realizing at the time that I was emotionly neglecting my wife.) This, along with my enjoyment of work and the life-long tendency to gain approval and acceptance through performance, and the fact that I was an only child for nine years, sets me up to be very “I” focused rather than “we.”
In my thinking this characteristic is not so much a relational predicament but a SIN problem. The Bible challenges the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church. I wasn’t. Call it sin. Repent – turn around and go the other way. Love her unconditionally. No matter the stance the wife is taking – adversarial or supportive, as her husband I am directed to a selfless marital love.
I’m heading that direction. Got a long ways to go.
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1 comment:
Good reminder Ray for me as well Ray, Thanks. I look forward to seeing you next week. Mark
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