Personal value

I’ve written a book on building Self Esteem (Self Esteem: You’re Better Than You Think). I’ve spoken and written considerably on the topic because I believe that a poor self image is a root of much personal discomfort. Insecurity can prompt us to be very controlling, very dogmatic, easily threatened and much more dis-ease.

In our last post of yesterday, I asked you what your value was as a person. Instead of a long monologue, I’d like to cut to the chase, get to the bottom line where rubber meets the road. Joshua 1:8 says that as we meditate on Scripture and do what is says, we’ll be successful. Does the Bible talk about self esteem? AS we would say in my North Dakota days, “Ya shore, you betcha.”

Look with me at Romans 12:3-5 Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. 4 Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5 so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.

Notice the sequence. Don’t think too highly of yourselves (that can come from performance-based self esteem, or for women it is usually beauty related.).
Next, rather then measuring yourself by comparing with others, measure yourself by the faith God has given you. That means you you can’t even take credit for faith-based self esteem. That is even God given.

Next issue is that we are parts of a body and we need each other. The following verses describe God-given gifts so that we can minister to each other.

Summarizing, the value I should place on myself is in direct proportion to my God-given faith and how I allow the Holy Spirit to move in and through me as I love on and encourage others.

Consequently, I should have no worries or concerns about my value as a person. Focus on knowing God more deeply through which lHe gives among many things – faith. Pour my life into others and enjoy the ride. That sounds so simple, so Sunday-schoolish. Try it on for size. See if you like it.

What is your value?

Sir Rastus - newest member of the buwick family!

How do you perceive yourself? What is your value? What are you worth?

Since the age of 12 (59 years ago), I have been accustomed to working and being productive. As a North Dakota adolescent, I shoveled snow from sidewalks and driveways, carried the daily newspaper, sometimes “enjoying” throwing papers in 30 degrees below zero blizzards. (What you are brought up in you think is normal.)
I mowed lawns, set double lane pins in the bowling alley. In high school, I painted houses, barns and churches along with working in a laundry, construction, sports writing and farm work. College years was more of the same until I took my first post college job as a college teacher and athletic coach.

And I’ve worked ever since in the people helping business until 10 years ago when I was unjustly asked to resign from my position as college prof and coach. Work has served as a source of ministry, of financial gain, fulfillment, of self esteem building and it has been fun. My norwegian/estonian heritage provided me with a good work ethic. My first wife, Ann, would at times chide me for not having fun. I would tell her that work, to me, was fun.

Though I’ve explored countless work options in these 10 years, nothing has opened up. It has at times been frustrating, at other times depressing, much of the time boring and recently – a relaxing freedom. As I have wrestled with these issues, a bottom line question has been popping up. What is my value as a person? What am I worth? As with most men, my worth has come through the vehicle of work. Does it need to? Is there another source to measure our value, men?

Where do you get your sense of worth? More on the next post .

Voices, part two

You don’ have to be crazy to hear voices, part two.

Suggestions for remediation.
I really believe we all have voices within that prod us on, that condemn us, that encourage us and so on. I’m most concerned over the negative voices. What do I do with them?

1. Acknowledge the voices.
Noise can be an addiction that quiets to some extent the power of the negative voices.Turn off the noise that camoflages the voices. Allow yourself to listen “in” and journal the results.

2. Seek the source
Was the source of the voice: your father who by word or action conveyed the message, “You’re not quite good enough.” Or the coach who said, “Quit now, you’ll never make the team.” Quitting has been a problem in many arenas since. We have some forgiving to do, don’t we?
For some, the condemning voice is from satan. Remedy: tell him to go to hell where he belongs and refuse to allow that voice to continue inner residency.

3. Bring thoughts into captivity.
The key to “voices remedy” is following the Biblical principle, “Bring your thoughts into captivity.”
When you hear a negative voice, say, “Hold it there Bub. That is stinking thinking. The Bible directs me in Philippians 4:8 - Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
We have a choice: listen to the voices and their destructivness or follow Philippians 4:8. For example, one of my voices is, “with your Parkinson’s it won’t be long and you’ll be in a wheel chair, not driving, falling over all the time, choking, etc.” Obviously the source is satan. I resist him and focus my thoughts on, “God, you’re in control. My life is yours. You have in mind what is best for me. I’ll do what I can with medication, exercise, etc and leave the results to you.”
Bring thoughts into captivity.

4. Replace destructive thoughts with godly truth.
Negative voices are replaced with positive. And the source of the new voices is Scripture. What does God say about your situation? That’s one of the reasons for consistent Bible study. Setting your mindset on what God says about you. Romans 12:1-2 is a powerful game plan for us. 1 And so, dear brothers and sisters,[a] I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.[b] 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
One version says, “Be transformed by the renewing of the mind.”
This is done two ways. Feed your mind daily with God’s word. Some call it a quiet time. Renewing the mind and being obedient to what God says sets the stage for “transformed voices.” Then, spontaneously, hit the negative voice with positive and transforming mental food gained from the reading of Scripture. The more consistent you are with the exercise, the quicker the results.

Hearing Voices

Voices
You don’t have to be crazy to hear voices. Hearing voices is usually associated with schizophrenia. One person described it this way: ”I can hear voices. There a 4 of them, a little girl a little boy a different version of me and one other then i can not make out...at night i can feel them following me around...then when i get to a point of stress i can hear the undistinct voise to the point it makes my body tingal, and my vision starts to shake, and things will change, for example everything will get darker and nothing be cohearent.”

This person is definitely battling with a mental disorder. I’m suggesting that a “sane” person can house differing voices, though not “crazy” can be a very destructive force mentally, emotionally and physically.

To one person there is the voice picked up in childhood, either from a perfectionistic parent or from a parent who wasn’t there, “You are not good enough.” The result? A heightened drive to perform for acceptance. Ulcers. Workahol. Perfectionism that tends to make one look down at others.

Another person may periodaclly hear the message, “you are not loveable.” Or, “you’ll never be successful, so why try.” Or, “you’ll never do it well enough. You’ll never get it right.” Or, “you’re a worthless, no account brat.” Or, “you’ve been so bad that God will not bless you with …”

Or the voices can have a postive twist that can be destructive. “You’re so giftted that you’ll be able to do anything you want. This person is set up for failure, because of the high expectations that are not achieveable.

Or, focus become outward beauty when you’ve heard, “You’re the most beautiful girl in your class.”.

Possibly some of the most hideous and destructive voices we hear came from the church. “Get saved, then you can do anything you want. You’re eternally secure.” Or the opposite, “If you sin, you’ll lose your salvation.” Consequently this person is always checking his spiritual pulse, never quite feeling safe in God’s care. Eternal insecurity.

May I suggest an assignment? Listen carefully to the voices you have in your head. We all have them. Write them in a journal. For example, voices that I’ve had to do battle with are
• That’s not quite good enough.
• What ever you do, do it to your best. Then people will take notice and approve of you.
• Hey world, notioce me. Tell me I’m okay.
• You stutter, Ray. You’re a blemished product.
• With Parkinson’s you’re headed for the wheel chair, then confinement to the bed.
• You are a has been.

What do you do with your voices? Stay tuned to the next post for suggestions.

Why, God?

Should I ask God “Why?”

A very special friend told me, “Never ask God ‘why.’ There is no place in Scripture that indicates we should do that. Just trust Him.”

His words challenged me, because I often ask God “why.” I realize his position of “just trust God” is certainly appropriate. However, I have a grandson, Barron Olaf, who if he asks me the meaning of a tough time in his life, I certainly want to provide an answer if I had insight into the situation. How much more would my loving Heavenly Father want that for me (Matt. 7:11).

I believe the key is our attitude in asking. Is it with whiney voice or thrust out fist? Or is it a genuine, “Papa, what am I to learn from this. How do you want to use this situation in my life for my good, your glory and the good of others?”

James 1:2-5 seems to be the foundational resource for my thinking. 2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. 5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

This passage says to me, “Ray, trust me. The hard time you are experiencing now is a character building challenge. You can be joyful, not for the process, but for the product – a stronger, more complete Ray.”

“Okay Father. I accept your words, your plan for my growth. But the very next sentence says ‘if I need wisdom, ask…’ Forty eight years ago, it seemed as if you told me that you would heal the roots of my stuttering. For 45 years my fluency slowly grew. Then 3 years ago, my speaking took a nose dive and now there are times I get so stuck on a word that it just won’t come forth. Stuttering is worsening. Speech therapy hasn’t helped.

Why the seeming change of plans? It appears that you’ve broken a promise to me. At this stage of my life is there something better for me than healing my speech? What should I learn from this? How do you want to use this in my life, Abba, Papa?”

My challenge is asking God “why” with the right attitude. My fist isn’t raised to Him. I don’t think I’m whining. But every so often I allow self pity to creep in. And self pity is always tinged with a bit of anger to God. A genuine asking of God for wisdom evolves into a fleshly, self-centered and even cynical demand for a response. Yuk. A pile of dung!

He hasn’t given me an answer to my question yet But I trust Him (99 percent of the time).
Other passages that support asking God “why” are:

E;phesians 1:17-19 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. 18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance19 I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him…

James 4:2 (NKJV) 2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask.

John 15:7, 16 But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.
“Remain” (meno in the Greek), “stay or abide.” The NLT Study Bible describes it as a profound, intimate and enduring relationship. It seems to say to me that if I’m abiding in Him, my communication can include “why.”