Tired part 2

The feeling of fatigue is lifting  (The “I’m so tired of all the various losses – as listed in part in the last posting)” . Why? in part, I am learning and re-learning through all this emotional upheavel some key concepts.

ENTITLEMENT - I deserve.”I’ve endeavored to live a godly life.Treating people the way I’d like to be treated. Working hard. Trying to be obedient to the Master. I deserve a better outcome to the ending of my life. I had wanted to go out strong. When I don’t get what I want (lessening of pain) I get discouraged, then subtley angry at my Creator. Holding on to that anger, even unknowingly, adds emotional garbage to the fatigue. Can easily become depression.

The remedy for entitlement? The cross! “I die to the expectation of having my way. I accept the lot in life that You have ordained for me and I know that you have my best in mind. Help me build on the lot you have provided.

HEALTHY DEPENDENCY: I can do it myself. I must do it myself. I was raised in a home with parents who had been through the great depression, :”You gotta do what you gotta do to get what you want. Don’t depend on others.” That can be a worthy goal for some who tend to an uhealthy dependencey; however, being so independent that you’re cut off from others flies in the face of the Body of Christ – Christians taking care of each other…utilizing their gifts to enhance the lives of those close to them. Romans 12 instructs us: Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5 so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. Loving and serving others and  willing to be loved and served. Healthy dependency.

LET GO OF THE DREAMS, THE RIGHTS, TO BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I’VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO DO AND PLANNED TO DO.,THAT NOW IS PHYSICALY IMPOSSIBLE. That is an ongoing challenge as I try new ventures and find a road block of weakness or loss of balance preventing the activity. This “letting go” was enhanced this week as I watched a Memorial Day program revealing war wounds.that far outdistanced my wounds.

Also, recall with me Paul’s challenges in Ephesians 3:20  Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. My plans are puny as compared to what God may want to do with, through, or for me. Trust. Wait.

Or the challenge of 2 Corinthians 12. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it ( the thorn –disease, injury, whatever) away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


God’s power shows up best in my weakness. This could get exciting as I exchange my weakness with His strength.

And lastly, the “I’m tired of all the loss” discouragement issue is abating in part by taking life one day at a time. Daily bread. Being more aware of all I have for which to be thankful. Where do I bake it today? Who needs daily bread through me today? Who should I look to for my bread of the day?

More on this later. By the way, after 7 months of roadblocks, we began moving in to our new house this week. Yea!