PERTURBED WITH GOD

I’ve been challenged recently to pray according  to God’s personality, not according to His power. I think the  reason for the challenge was that I have grown confused, somewhat cynical and a little bit perturbed with God. Why? Because my prayers of petition were seemingly going unanswered or at least not answered in the way I thought was best or as the Bible seemed to promise.

For example,  my insomnia, which I’m told is credited to Parkinson’s.  Now there is no Scripture that promises healing for stuttering or Parkinson’s, but insomnia is addressed in Psalm 127:2  It is vain for you to rise up early,  To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep.

“Now God,” I complain, “am I not one of your beloved? Severe insomnia is a significant challenge. I’ve tried man’s ways to get prepared for sleep.  Results? Zip.

I’ve “let my requests be made known to You” according to Philippians 4. Nothing or very little.

I’ve searched my heart to determine if there are any emotional or spiritual blockages. Silence!

Is this Psalm written to someone else or, like the food rules of the Old Testament, don’t necessairly apply now?” Confusion.

I still believe in prayer, but at this point  in my journey, solely as a means to know God better and as a means of having fellowship with Him. I have trouble with that view of prayer because the Bible directs me to petition God for myself and for others. “You have not because you ask not.”

Out of prayer habit, I find myself petitioning God for something or someone, but usually cloak it with “unless you have a purpose for the adversity or if you have a better plan disregard this request, Father.” That kind of praying sounds wishy-washy. No faith believing.

            Matthew 7:11 has always been an intriguing portion of  Scripture. It states “So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”

Don’t get me wrong.. God has been so good to me for which I’m very grateful. But numerous are the challenges in the Bible that directs us to let our requests be made known to God, like Philippians 4:6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷ and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

            “Now God, as my Father wanting to give me good gifts and be responsive to my petitions, (according to Your word), why not speaking fluency rather than stuttering? And why not freedom from Parkinson’s? Or, the sleep issue, and the marriage I prayed for that ended in a split, plus more petitions for myself and for others. Why do You seem so unresponsive?"

            As I am writing this section it is 1 a.m. July 23, 2011 And I’ve just had a breakthrough. I’ve been reading Andrew Murray’s book Humility, beauty of holiness. I’ll share the details in my next blog

Adjustments

I have been working on this blog posting for a number of weeks now and I just can’t get it to flow. I think he blockage is I’M HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME INERNALIZING AND APPLYING THE CONTENT TO MY OWN LIFE.


So, here goes. Maybe I can learn more as I type. Pictured on my knees for two reasons:  bowing before the Lord and can't fall when I'm on my knees.

Could one of the greatest marks of maturity be the ability to adjust? MSN.com gives us some adjustment challenges from the world’s persective, like

“5,000 cops deployed as Greeks launch ‘massive’ 48-hour strike

Iran: Our missiles can reach US bases

Blaze rages near nuclear plant.

Some definite opportunities to make major adjustments.

Possibly you relate better with MSN’s quibs on belly fat, or giving birth or losing your job.

Adjustments. Life is about adjustments. I must be a slow learner, but this is the first time I’ve connected adjustment and maturity. St. Paul’s words are the epitome of adjustment challenge: “In whatever state I’m in I’ve learned to be content.”

Think of the adjustments Paul had to make – from being stoned and left for dead to imprisonment. Yet, “I have learned to be content.” Notice the word “learned” – a process. Adjustment leading to contentment can be learned.

I’m presently in a steep learning curve. And frankly, I’m struggling – not over any one issue, but the culmination of losses that been posted prevoiously. Driving, close friendships, ministry (as I knew it,) balance (frequently fall), energy and strength and more. Adjustments.

We are in our new house. After battling a plethora of road blocks these past 7 months, we’re in – well, partially. Storage units in Idaho and Kentucky are emptied. Our basement is full of stuff. Boxes everywhere. Adjustments!

How do we reach that adjustment pinnacle of being content, wherever? Check out the following sequence.

1. Recognition. As followers of Jesus, we are blessed with the knowledge that our loving Heavenly Father wants the best for us. So spend consistent time in the Bible learning about Abba PaPa. Learn how He wants to use everything we experience for our good, the good of others and for His glory. I need to remind myself of this every time I want to go some place and can’t drive.

2. Acceptance. No bitterness about the situation, but not rejoicing either. A cognitive exercise of “whatever my lot in life, I’ll build on it.

3. Rejoicing. Appropriating God’s resources through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Some adjustments are so difficult that the Holy Spirit has to do through us what is impossible to do in our own strength. Like following Biblical guidelines of “rejoice evermore; give thanks in and for all things.”

For example adjustments I‘m endeavoring to make now are physical and relational. I’m consistently encountering tasks that I have been able to perform all my life that are now becoming impossible because of the Parkinson’s balance challenge and the nerve damage from the 4 wheeler accident. The Parkinson’s symptoms have really accelerated this year – dyskinesia, loss of balance and Pd is the reason I’m not ldriving any more. Tha t is tough. The adjustment indicates my maturity or lack thereof..

James in 1:2-4, gives a clea challenge: Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

I need a lot of work on this. How about you? You may not stutter or have PD, but all have some adversity. How is your maturity level?

Where is Olaf

My special friend Big John V.rousted me out of blog doldrums with the following "poetry." (Olaf is my middle name.)

"Sometimes I feel like a spiritual log

Then I am challenged by one of Olaf’s blogs

But, alas, I am afraid the man has forgotten his friend
And been shoveling on flowers what comes out of the horse’s back end

What am I going to do…where am I going to go?
If Olaf does not get his blog machinery up by to the farming saying “No”

I guess I will be out here in the dry and thirsty land
Simply looking alone to Jesus the very best that I can

It is not easy when entire sanctification keeps alluding my soul
And without the challenge of Burwick’s blog my heart is as black as coal

So, come on Farmer Olaf put down the shovel and then forget the manure
Let’s get some blogging done and see if you can find a word to rhyme with manure"

All right, already, Big John. I'll get back with it.