I WEPT

I wept. Last week was a week of losses that brought tears. The first, not a biggie in the life of most people. Basketball has always been an integral part of my life. From playing to coaching. I shot some hoops at my granddaughter’s volleyball practice and found I had no legs. A good shot begins in the legs and flows up and out through the extended wrist and fingers.The accident of nearly one year ago has robbed me of basketball. No tears for this loss, but the stage was set.


Took a nasty fall and really banged up my ribs – left side.It illicited my normal response – “Lord, thanks. It hurts but could have been worse.”

Five minutes later. Another fall. Same spot, one rib lower. For the first time I wept.Tears from physical pain but more so, tears of “Is this what my life is going to be like?” Frustration. Fear. Loss. Stirred in a little cup of self pity.

Lasted a couple hours, because I had jumped (as described in the last posts.) Jumped back into the arms of my Heavenly Papa who lovingly tells me, “Trust me Ray. I will work this out for your best, for the good of others and for my Glory.”

Yes, Father. I trust you. I don’t need to focus on the “what ifs” of the future.” And then I’m reminded of Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all peace and joy as you trust in Him; so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

A subsequent fall brought the loving, firm words of my wife, “Ray it is time to stick close to that walker.”

Loss. Loss of free perambulating. I wept.

I took my four-wheeled walker outside. You guessed it. Both the walker and I fell. Where did I land? Yes, left side. Rib high.

Lesson learned? Allow myself to own my human feelings. Then go “upstairs” with them, with hope – not in my circumstances but in God alone..