Anger

Coach Renta and Conference Player of the Week - Brian Barkdoll

What is your anger score? I was asked this week to administer an anger measurement test to an occupant of the Lighthouse Mission. Upon googling it I came across William Snell's tool. For kicks I thought I'd share it with you for your perusal. If you take the test, PLEASE BE HONEST IN RESPONDING TO THE STATEMENTS.
________________________________________
1.
A. I do not feel angry.
B. I feel angry.
C. I am angry most of the time now.
D. I am so angry and hostile all the time that I can't stand it.
2.
A. I am not particularly angry about my future.
B. When I think about my future, I feel angry.
C. I feel angry about what I have to look forward to.
D. I feel intensely angry about my future, since it cannot be improved.
3.
A. It makes me angry that I feel like such a failure.
B. It makes me angry that I have failed more than the average person.
C. As I look back on my life, I feel angry about my failures.
D. It makes me angry to feel like a complete failure as a person.
4.
A. I am not all that angry about things.
B. I am becoming more hostile about things than I used to be.
C. I am pretty angry about things these days.
D. I am angry and hostile about everything.
5.
A. I don't feel particularly hostile at others.
B. I feel hostile a good deal of the time.
C. I feel quite hostile most of the time.
D. I feel hostile all of the time.
6.
A. I don't feel that others are trying to annoy me.
B. At times I think people are trying to annoy me.
C. More people than usual are beginning to make me feel angry.
D. I feel that others are constantly and intentionally making me angry.
7.
A. I don't feel angry when I think about myself.
B. I feel more angry about myself these days than I used to.
C. I feel angry about myself a good deal of the time.
D. When I think about myself, I feel intense anger.
8.
A. I don't have angry feelings about others having screwed up my life.
B. It's beginning to make me angry that others are screwing up my life.
C. I feel angry that others prevent me from having a good life.
D. I am constantly angry because others have made my life totally miserable.
9.
A. I don't feel angry enough to hurt someone.
B. Sometimes I am so angry that I feel like hurting others, but I would not really do it.
C. My anger is so intense that I sometimes feel like hurting others.
D. I'm so angry that I would like to hurt someone.
10.
A. I don't shout at people any more than usual.
B. I shout at others more now than I used to.
C. I shout at people all the time now.
D. I shout at others so often that sometimes I just can't stop.
11.
A. Things are not more irritating to me now than usual.
B. I feel slightly more irritated now than usual.
C. I feel irritated a good deal of the time.
D. I'm irritated all the time now.
12.
A. My anger does not interfere with my interest in other people.
B. My anger sometimes interferes with my interest in others.
C. I am becoming so angry that I don't want to be around others.
D. I'm so angry that I can't stand being around people.
13.
A. I don't have any persistent angry feelings that influence my ability to make decisions.
B. My feelings of anger occasionally undermine my ability to make decisions.
C. I am angry to the extent that it interferes with my making good decisions.
D. I'm so angry that I can't make good decisions anymore.
14.
A. I'm not so angry and hostile that others dislike me.
B. People sometimes dislike being around me since I become angry.
C. More often than not, people stay away from me because I'm so hostile and angry.
D. People don't like me anymore because I'm constantly angry all the time.
15.
A. My feelings of anger do not interfere with my work.
B. From time to time my feelings of anger interfere with my work.
C. I feel so angry that it interferes with my capacity to work.
D. My feelings of anger prevent me from doing any work at all.
16.
A. My anger does not interfere with my sleep.
B. Sometimes I don't sleep very well because I'm feeling angry.
C. My anger is so great that I stay awake 1—2 hours later than usual.
D. I am so intensely angry that I can't get much sleep during the night.
17.
A. My anger does not make me feel anymore tired than usual.
B. My feelings of anger are beginning to tire me out.
C. My anger is intense enough that it makes me feel very tired.
D. My feelings of anger leave me too tired to do anything.
18.
A. My appetite does not suffer because of my feelings of anger.
B. My feelings of anger are beginning to affect my appetite.
C. My feelings of anger leave me without much of an appetite.
D. My anger is so intense that it has taken away my appetite.
19.
A. My feelings of anger don't interfere with my health.
B. My feelings of anger are beginning to interfere with my health.
C. My anger prevents me from devoting much time and attention to my health.
D. I'm so angry at everything these days that I pay no attention to my health and well-being.
20.
A. My ability to think clearly is unaffected by my feelings of anger.
B. Sometimes my feelings of anger prevent me from thinking in a clear-headed way.
C. My anger makes it hard for me to think of anything else.
D. I'm so intensely angry and hostile that it completely interferes with my thinking.
21.
A. I don't feel so angry that it interferes with my interest in sex.
B. My feelings of anger leave me less interested in sex than I used to be.
C. My current feelings of anger undermine my interest in sex.
D. I'm so angry about my life that I've completely lost interest in sex.

Scoring: A = 0; B = 1; C = 2; and D = 3. Clinical interpretation of the CAS scores is accomplished through the following interpretive ranges: 0-13 - minimal clinical anger; 14-19 - mild clinical anger; 20-28 - moderate clinical anger; and 29-63 - severe clinical anger.

Does anyone need a copy of my anger book? !!!! :-)

Rejection, Anger, Drugs, Prison

I have the joy and privilege of teaching my anger workshop to the men at the Lighthouse Mission. All are ex-cons, been druggies and are striving hard to make a new life. Some have let me tell their story. This is Paul's.

I found my girlfriend in bed with my best friend. In my house! Drugs weren’t immediately available. So I robbed a store. Result? Prison.

What is a young, good looking, pleasant personality guy who was an involved church goer and Christian doing in a place like that? As I interviewed Paul, I learned that his robbery experience began at the age of 11 by stealing a pack of cigarettes from a store. Got caught and his parents paid the fine. “It’s real strange,” the 25-year-old exclaimed. “Every three to four months I just go crazy. I’m doing well. Have a great job. Thinking clearly. Got friends, money, a house and car. Walking with God. Then, bam. I self-destruct. Alcohol, drugs and sex begin to creep back in. I begin to push away relationships. As people know me I fear they’ll not like me. I get angry. They don’t meet my expectations so I run away. It’s easier that way.”

Paul describes his childhood as a product of divorce at the age of three. He reports that his mom left his dad because of his alcohol and drug abuse. He had very little contact with him until the seventh grade when he lived with him for a year. At that time his dad was a youth pastor. He described his step-dad as passive and didn’t have relationship with him until this past year.

Mother was described as a Bible college graduate, very loving and a strong intercessory prayer warrior.

What is underneath the destructive behavior? We’re speculating. As a young teenager, he lived in a rough neighborhood where he was beat up a lot. He tried everything to be liked and accepted. No one did except druggies. He didn’t have to suffer consequences of aberrant behavior until prison. There is a rebellious streak in Paul. His behavior could in part be passive aggressive – an unconscoius getting back at someone. Self discipline is lacking. The self-exploration stage is currently in vogue.

One of the most destructive activities happened after being involved in a very controlling church atmosphere. He was doing well, was liked by everyone at church. He says, “I got prideful and became lax in my commitment with God. Sex and alcohol began to enter my life again. I confessed it to the church leaders and they ostracized me. Told everyone at church that they were not to associate with me. It destroyed me. I went crazy. I tried suicide two times. Quit my job. Lost my car. Kicked out of school. Beer and meth took over. Confinement to a hospital produced various sorts of diagnoses. I was caught with a DUI as a felon and sent to prison for 5 to 10. A miracle happened. The judge gave me 10 months and recommended I go to a rehab facility. I asked him to make it mandatory so I’d have to stick it out for a year.

I’m at the Lighthouse and learning.” Paul finished the interview with these words: “This last time I chose to entirely destroy my life. I hurt and pushed away every person who cared for me and I thought I had spit in God’s face for the last time. I thought God had utterly forsaken me and I had gone too far to go over the edge to ever come back to Christ. At the end of my rope when I was all alone and I thought nobody cared, God showed up in my desperation and showed me His Agape love. I realized the intimate love and relationship I so intensly sought for only came from God. “Now my intimacy with my savior is being restored and the deep bitterness I have been harboring towards myself and others is being healed. I am finally finding freedom from my unstable lifestyle and I am finishing this program which is building a new hope for a productive future.”

Paul

anger sources

From a viewer of this blogsite comes this comment/question.

Came across this great quote on Anger and thought about you and your project here. The quote is:"Anger, says Real, regularly stems from helplessness. “If you’re walking around angry, it’s often because you’re trying to control some thing and it’s not cooperating. The way to be less angry is to let go of your control.” - Therapist Terrence Real from Psychology Today. I know you wrote the book on Anger. What do you think?

My response: I concur with Real in part. A person feeling helpless, call it victim mentality, is always an angry person - toward significant people in their life and especially toward God. The anger is usually contained because any expression of anger would lead to more rejection and greater victimization. This person doesn't realize that the poison of anger is eating its own container.

Being a controller is slightly different, in that feelings of insecurity is the source. A very insecure person usually becomes either a control "freak" or a passive doormat. Thinking that one is in control gives a sense of security, though it is pseudo. To tell a person to let go of control and you'll be less angry is shallow. The controlling person needs to see who they really are from God's perspective. Romans 12:3 "...think of yourself with sober judgement according to the measure of faith God has given you." Seeing God as my source for security makes for less insecurity, making for less need to be controlling.

In general, I observe the cause of most of our unhealthy anger is selfishness (I want my way at my timing) and fear of intrusion (you're getting in my space.) My book "Good and Mad" gives some strategies for working through anger issues.

Thanks for the comment and question.