Came across this great quote on Anger and thought about you and your project here. The quote is:"Anger, says Real, regularly stems from helplessness. “If you’re walking around angry, it’s often because you’re trying to control some thing and it’s not cooperating. The way to be less angry is to let go of your control.” - Therapist Terrence Real from Psychology Today. I know you wrote the book on Anger. What do you think?
My response: I concur with Real in part. A person feeling helpless, call it victim mentality, is always an angry person - toward significant people in their life and especially toward God. The anger is usually contained because any expression of anger would lead to more rejection and greater victimization. This person doesn't realize that the poison of anger is eating its own container.
Being a controller is slightly different, in that feelings of insecurity is the source. A very insecure person usually becomes either a control "freak" or a passive doormat. Thinking that one is in control gives a sense of security, though it is pseudo. To tell a person to let go of control and you'll be less angry is shallow. The controlling person needs to see who they really are from God's perspective. Romans 12:3 "...think of yourself with sober judgement according to the measure of faith God has given you." Seeing God as my source for security makes for less insecurity, making for less need to be controlling.
In general, I observe the cause of most of our unhealthy anger is selfishness (I want my way at my timing) and fear of intrusion (you're getting in my space.) My book "Good and Mad" gives some strategies for working through anger issues.
Thanks for the comment and question.
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