Saturday, February 10, 2007

Coach Dungy: Blessings from a son’s suicide

Indianapolis Colts Football coach, Tony Dungy, being interviewed after their Super Bowl victory: “How great is it be one of the first "African-American" head coaches to take his team to a Super Bowl?” Coach Dungy's reply, "Yes that's good, but what is really great and awesome, is how God worked this out for us; it's just amazing how He made this all come together!"
Dungy made a Super Bowl stop to speak at Athletes in Action Breakfast. He spoke of his sons, one who is a sports nut, another who feels no pain, so reaches into a hot oven for a chocolate chip cookie, burning his hands and tongue.
Finally, he spoke of James, Tony Dungy's oldest son, who took his own life three days before Christmas. "It was tough, and it was very, very painful, but as painful as it was, there were some good things that came out of it," Dungy said.
Dungy shared how he spoke at the funeral of regretting not hugging James the last time he saw him on Thanksgiving of last year. "I met a guy the next day after the funeral," Dungy said. "He said, 'I was there. I heard you talking. I took off work today and called my son. I told him I was taking him to the movies. We're going to spend some time and go to dinner.' That was a real, real blessing to me."
Dungy said he has gotten many letters since James' death relaying similar messages. "People heard what I said and said, 'Hey, you brought me a little closer to my son,' or,'You brought me a little closer to my daughter,’”Dungy said. "That is a tremendous blessing."
Dungy also said some of James' organs were donated through donors programs. "We got a letter back two weeks ago that two people had received his corneas, and now they can see,'' Dungy said. "That's been a tremendous blessing."
He also said he received a letter from a girl from the family's church in Tampa. She had known James for many years, Dungy said. She went to the funeral because she knew James. "When I saw what happened at the funeral, and your family and the celebration and how it was handled, that was the first time I realized there had to be a God," Dungy said the girl wrote. "I accepted Christ into my life and my life's been different since that day."
Added Dungy, "That was an awesome blessing, so all of those things kind of made me realize what God's love is all about."

Dungy also said he was asked often how he was able to return to the Colts so quickly after James' death. James died on December 22, and Dungy returned to the team one week later. Dungy said the answer was simple, "I'm not totally recovered. I don't know that I ever will be. It's still very, very painful, but I was able to come back because of something one of my good Christian friends said to me after the funeral.
“He said, 'You know James accepted Christ into his heart, so you know he's in heaven, right?' I said, 'Right, I know that.' He said, 'So, with all you know about heaven, if you had the power to bring him back now, would you?' When I thought about it, I said, 'No, I wouldn't. I would not want him back with what I know about heaven.'
"That's what helped me through the grieving process. Because of Christ's Spirit in me, I had that confidence that James is there, at peace with the Lord, and I have the peace of mind in the midst of something that's very, very painful.
Coach Dungy concluded his speech, "That's my prayer today, that everyone in this room would know the same thing."
Notice his application of 2 Corinthians 6:10: “Our hearts ache, yet we have the joy of the Lord.” Gain through loss.

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