The Worst Day of My Life

The Sunday afternoon call from our son started out ominously. “Mom and Dad, are you sitting down? Stephanie is using heroin.” The immediate emotional shock of learning our daughter was using heroin went beyond description—devastation, fear for her life, guilt, questions about our parenting skills, etc. Our wonderful daughter had fallen into the world of heroin without our knowing it. What signals had we missed? How could we have been so blind? How had she been so successful in lying to us?
In spite of the shutting down of our emotional systems, my wife and I knew we had to spring into action. We lived in Phoenix; our daughter was living in Denver. But, we could not locate her. Where was she? It turned out she was in Juarez, Mexico. Was she alive? Was she in prison? The fearful questions tore at our minds like ravaging dogs; we seemed defenseless to stop the overpowering flood of fear. God seemed so remote; faith seemed so ineffectual.
Through a lot of detective work, we discovered Stephanie was returning to her home Monday night. We went to Denver, made arrangements for her at a detox center and waited. When she was home, we walked in unannounced and said, “We know you have been lying to us and that you have been using heroin. We want you to come with us to get help.” Her response was two-fold: “Okay. But I will not go cold-turkey, because I have tried to quit ten times and thought I was going to die each time.” As it turned out she had cried out to God many times for deliverance. Her purse was full of cards with Bible verses related to God’s protection and deliverance. But, God had a different plan for her--that included a lot of hard and diligent work.
But how does this happen? I was a pastor; I had been the president of a seminary; my wife and I met when we were staff members with Campus Crusade for Christ; we had dedicated our children to Christ as infants and had prayed diligently that they would love God and live lives of purity.
It would have been easy to blame God...and I must confess that for a few moments I was tempted to do so. Gratefully, I quickly got away from that line of thinking because: 1. I believe God did not cause or plan for my daughter to be a heroin addict, 2. He would remain faithful, true and close to Susan and me in spite of heroin having invaded our family, 3. such thinking was negative and would prove to be non-productive because it would only focus our attention on the past and not motivate us to look forward to a drug-free and Christ-honoring future for our daughter and, 4. Jesus said, “The rain falls on the just and the unjust.” And, the proof of our faith and His faithfulness is how we respond to “the rain” in our lives not that we live a “sunshine filled” life.
Stephanie has celebrated 9 ½ years of sobriety—one day at a time. When I complimented her for her hard work she responded, “Dad, I would rather work hard at staying off heroin than be working hard to find heroin.” She has graduated from college—with honors. She works with teenage boys who have sexually abused little kids. Her life is a miracle. We thank God for all He has done in her life. As she says, “I had to dance with the devil to come back to God.”

If alcohol/drug abuse has entered your family, check out http://www.notalone.org/. The website has a lot of help for parents who are there—from parents who have been there.
Dr. John Vawter, Director and Founder of You’re Not Alone, Inc