Aging, the Power of the Mind

You’re as old as you think you are! Scripture tells us that, “as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Yale psychologist Becca Levy, PhD, an expert in stereotypes related to aging, indicates that her research supports this power of the mind. Hearing and memory loss are two examples. She reported the following to “Bottom Line Health” magazine.

In a study at Yale regarding measurement of hearing, more than 500 adults age 70 and older were asked what five words or phrases first came to mind when they thought of an old person. Three years later, the people who associated aging with stereotypes like “feeble” and “senile” had suffered significantly more hearing loss than those who had answered positive words like “wise” and “active.” In other studies, negative thoughts or beliefs about aging were linked to poorer memory as the years passed.

In another study, 62 heart attack patients, ages 50 to 96, were interviewed about their stereotype of aging within two weeks after their heart attacks. Seven months later, patients who expressed more positive stereotypes had experienced better physical recovery, as measured by tests involving balance and timed walking, than those who expressed more negative stereotypes.

I love the Bible. It provides for us patterns for successful living (and dying.) Philippians 4: 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

Our thinking patterns affect our bodies. Our aging.

Excuse me. What did you say? I forgot.

Backrubs to healing

We were lying in bed and my wife said, “My back sure hurts.” I said, “I’m sorry,” turned over and went to sleep. The next morning during my quiet time, the Holy Spirit gently said to me, “Why didn’t you rub her back?”

I saw my insensitivity and selfishness, repented and later asked her to forgive me. Her response instead of, “Yes, I forgive you” was “you have a thing about back rubs, don’t you.” I shared this with my Band of Brothers group and asked for accountability for the following week.

That night I gave her a nice long backrub. I finished and her response was “could you tickle it a bit more?”
Bingo! I pulled back quickly, my body language showing disgust. A pocket of pus was pricked! “It was never enough. I was not good enough.” That reactive mindset probably began with a perfectionist mother to whom I was never good enough. The message carried over to my next female relationship who was a “willing to receive, not willing to give” person. And my wife had a similar habit regarding backrubs. No matter how long I would rub her back the performance wasn’t quite enough. “Do this side a little more.”
The overall life-message I have received and unknowingly nurtured was, “Bill, you are never quite good enough”…no matter the activity.

Now, to handle this right I must forgive those significant people in my life that inadvertently passed down that message to me. I must obviously face my selfishness and repent – turn the other direction, focusing on giving. I need to remind myself that I’m not perfect. I won’t do everything perfect to please others and that is ok. Pleasing God is my desire and He already approves of me so I don’t need to perform for him. But because of His love for me and out of gratitude to Him I desire to relate to Him and serve Him.
“So even if I’m not good enough for people, that’s ok. I die to the expectation of meeting everyone’s approval. Love and give through me, Father. May that be my focus.”
Therefore:
Forgive
Be sensitive to giving unconditionally
Die to the expectation of being ‘good enough”
Receive my position in Christ as God’s child – cared for and protected by Him. Daily renew my mind with that reality.

The temporary loss in my marital harmony produced the environment for me to see where deeper emotional healing was needed. Subsequent growth was attained. PERSONAL EMOTIONAL GAIN CAME THROUGH TEMPORARY LOSS OF MARITAL HARMONY.
(anonymous)

Power of the Tongue

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21
Words have the power to motivate or destroy, energize or deflate, inspire or create despair. Many successful executives can remember the time their father failed to give affirmation to them as a child. The result was either overachievement to prove their worth, or underachievement to prove he was right.

Many a wife has lost her ability to love because of a critical husband. Many a husband has left a marriage because of words of disrespect and ungratefulness. Stories abound regarding the power of words. There are just as many stories of those who have been encouraged, challenged, and comforted with words that made a difference in their lives.

Jesus knew the power of words. He used parables to convey His principles of the Kingdom of God. He used words of forgiveness and mercy. He used words to challenge. He used words to inspire His disciples to miraculous faith.

Do your words give life? Do they inspire and challenge others to greatness? Who does God want you to encourage through your words today? Affirm someone close to you today. (Source unknown.)

Life out of Death.

Gain from loss. Sometimes hard to comprehend. Even more mysterious: life out of death.

How does a Christian grapple with Galatians 2:20: I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

I don’t act dead. Don’t look dead. Don’t smell dead…well! What about me is dead? And, if I’m dead, than why does Romans 8:13 tell me to put to death the misdeeds of the body and I’ll live? What is all this death stuff for the Believer in Christ? And how does life come out of death? And, am I too foolish to think I can articulate an explanation in one short posting? Allow me to take a stab at it.

Life out of death is to me, one of the most dynamic concepts in Scripture. It is the basis for victorious Christian living, no matter the circumstances. Romans 6:6 is a corollary of Galatians 2:20 and tells us that our “old nature” died with Christ. I believe that means that the person I was before beginning my walk in faith with Christ is dead. 2 Corinthians 5:17 tells me that I am a new creature, the old is past, the new has come. Everything about me is the same after initiating my commitment to Christ – personality, body structure, habits, social propensity – but there is a new source of empowerment for living. It is not me running my life in my own strength, but Christ providing the wherewithal to live supernaturally. (Glory be to God who by His mighty power at work within me is able to do far more than I would ever dare to ask or even dream of – infinitely beyond my highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.) Ephesians 3:20 TLB

Sixty one years ago, I felt that Jesus was knocking at my heart’s door. I invited Him in and have walked with Him since – usually close, periodically at a distance. The life I operated in my own strength before I committed to Jesus is gone, dead. I’m a new creature in Christ. Christ is alive in me and I am in Him. “…I no longer live but Christ lives in me.” I can now ask Him to live, love and give through me. He is my life. What peace! What contentment! What joy! What strength! What hope for the future!

Then, why do I have to “put to death the misdeeds of the body?”

Though I am a new person in Christ, there still dwells within me a propensity to run life myself – selfishness, call it the “flesh.” Instead of being yielded to obedience to Christ, there is a flesh that would be self absorbed, that would tend to worry, to resent, to fear, to lust, to have life take care of me, to not trust God’s love and grace. When I find myself “in the flesh,” I must ‘kill it.” Put to death the deeds that would be contrary to what Christ would direct.

It is easier to remind oneself of this dynamic, when you’ve saturated your mind with supportive Biblical passages like Romans 6-8, Ephesians 1-3, Philippians 2-4 and Colossians 1-3.

During the height of one World War II bloody battle, it is reported that an older American soldier counseled a young private who was petrified with fear as he witnessed the carnage of dead and mangled soldiers strewn all around him. The young man feared an almost certain, similar fate for himself in the days ahead. The older soldier’s counsel was chilling but poignant: “Accept the fact that you are already dead. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll be able to function as a soldier is supposed to function. All war depends upon it.”

And so with the Christian. You are dead to the old life operated by self. You are alive in Christ. Christ is alive in you desiring to live His supernatural life through you. Think like it. Act like it.

From prison to sobriety

From drug/alcohol addiction, to being in jail so many times I can’t count them, to prison, to receiving Nampa’s first annual award titled “Making A Difference.” Meander through my crazy life maze with me.

Dad was an alcoholic who abused my brother, mom and me in nearly every way possible – physically beat us (broke my nose during one beating), verbally demeaned us, and was perfectionistically demanding. I dreaded rainy days because he worked construction and they didn’t work when it rained. That gave him more time to drink and abuse, even showing up at our school and creating drunken scenes. He stole my coin collections. He left us when I was 12. The damage had been done.

Sniffing glue began my addictive process at 12. LSD followed with all kinds of other pills, downers and uppers. At 15 it was heroin. Then alcohol. I could control alcohol better than the other chemicals. I was a clown, manipulated people, fought any chance I got – have many scars to prove it. The law and I became acquainted when I was 14, beginning the many jail jaunts.

My only brush with religion was in the 6th grade when my parents enrolled me in a catholic school, hoping it would curb my wild behavior. I was stuck with a nun who was nearly as abusive as dad. I lasted one semester and have been a “recovering catholic” since.

I lived with a woman for 13 years. No children. Treated her badly like my dad treated my mother. Now married to a good and capable woman with two teenagers. I catch myself replicating my dad’s behavior with them and often have to bring myself up short. Years of irresponsible work life have taken its toll. The longest I’ve held a job is seven months. I’m not proud of that.

But I am proud of my last 11 years of sobriety. Prison caught my attention 12 years ago. I came to the conclusion that it was time to grow up. I went to every religious meeting they held in prison. I became a believer in God. I’ve been clean since then. I’ve spoken at numerous schools about the dangers of drugs and alcohol which provided the impetus for the award I received from the city. I have a stack of appreciation certificates from various city and civic organizations for which I volunteer. I’m not yet what I hope to be, but I’m certainly not what I used to be.
Charles Miller

Abandoned to Great Victory

I had my dream job as a faculty member at a well-respected Christian university. My pretty wife and I had a bright 6-year-old son. I had told a friend I felt like I had “life by the tail”, but there were some hints of problems. My wife was distant and often seemed unhappy. We had gone to marriage counseling where she talked of her personal unhappiness.

Six months into my new job, I came home from school one afternoon, excited about life, to find half of the furniture gone. A note was lying on the table saying, “we’re gone.” My wife had left, taken my son and begun her 1500 mile trek to be with the other man with whom it appeared she was in love.

The next door neighbor came over and said, “I saw the moving van at your house today and knew something was up. I suppose you’ll give up your new position and move back to start over.” The silly thought came to me, “WWSD – what would satan do?” I knew Satan wanted me to give up. My neighbor’s comment strengthened my resolve to “stay the course.”

With half the furniture gone, I stood in my near-empty living room and just howled out my pain and sense of loss. I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of failure. No one in my extended family had ever divorced. That was the low point of my life.

My passionate testimony today is that God is a God of second chances. Life’s lowest point has been reengineered by God. Romans 8:28 (all things work together for good…) has transpired. I maintained first telephone and then physical contact with my son, leading to joint custody. I took a four-year span of single hood to rediscover myself. I did a huge amount of scholarly research and writing that occupied my time and gave me a firm professional foundation. Recovery took place.

These days, I like to tell people that God is “the world’s greatest relief pitcher.” When my wife left and took my son, I was down 12 to 1 and God said, “Trust me—I can pull this out.” He turned the bad game into a World Series victory. I’ve got a wonderful second wife and together we have five children. The second marriage is infinitely more fulfilling and exciting than the first. We have traveled all over the world together. We minister together. I have a record of important accomplishment at another Christian university. My first wife and I have an amiable relationship.

I continue to believe that divorce is not God’s “primary will” for his children, but when marriages don’t work, my experience is that the Great Creator works with us to craft a wonderful alternative plan for our lives. I wouldn’t be where I am today without experiencing that darkest moment.

(anonymous)

When God Seems Far Away

Why, O Lord, do You stand far off? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble? Psalm 10:1

God is inscrutable, unfathomable. In His mysterious ways He at times leads us or allows us to experience great times of darkness – sickness, disease, loss of some kind – sometimes of our own doing, other times having no responsibility for the loss. If the pain is not self-induced, out of our control, at times it feels like He doesn’t care, He’s indifferent. “Where are you God?”
These events in our lives have a particular objective to perform for us. That objective is to bring us to the end of ourselves that we might discover the treasure of darkness. When we are taken into these dark periods, we begin to see light that we never knew existed. Our sensitivities become heightened and our ability to see through spiritual eyes is illuminated. Unless we are taken into these times, our souls never develop any depth of character. We do not gain wisdom, only knowledge. Knowledge is gained through understanding; wisdom is gained through the experience of darkness.

After we go through these periods, we discover that God was, in fact, with us throughout the entire time. It does not feel or appear that He is there when we are in the midst of the dark periods. However, He is there walking with us. He has told us countless times that He will never leave us. However, when we are in those dark periods, it does not feel like He is there because He does not rescue us from the circumstances. He does this for our benefit in order that we might become more like Jesus. Jesus learned obedience from the things He suffered (see Heb. 5:8). What does that say about how you and I will learn obedience? Embrace the dark times and gain the wisdom that God intends for you from these times.
(adapted from Os Hillman)