God Has a Plan for you

At nine days of age, mother threw me into the bushes behind our house, leaving me to be found by a neighbor, with whom I lived for a while. Mom probably was going through a nervous breakdown because of an abusive husband.

This took place in rural Trinidad. No electricity. A public community tap for water. One phone at the police station. The community was made up of two to three hundred people. Farmers. A thatched roof with mud walls was my home. My “father” knew I wasn’t his because our ethnic makeup wasn’t the same. I lived with my step dad, his parents and my sister who was two years older than me. We often moved, finding work in farming. Life was tough. Besides moving much, I was treated as the family scapegoat. I received all the beatings.

A family from the city took my sister to live with them. Shortly after my step dad took me to them asking if they’d take me, that he would come back weekly and pay them for my care. That was the last time we saw him. No Care. No financial support. So, there I was in a home where nobody wanted me. I had no name. They called me “boy.” Finally at the age of seven, they gave me the name “Joseph.” (Not his real name.) There were always 10 to 15 people in the small house. We slept like stacks of cord wood. I had a diverse religious background. We went to the Hindu temple, the Muslim mosque and the Catholic Church. Attending six different schools in five years indicated further insecurities.

There was no moral compass. Lies, sexual and physical abuse was prevalent. Very little food. No shoes. Hand-me-down clothes. And worst of all (besides the abuse) was never being appreciated or complimented. The one line I grew hearing was “ You could never do anything for someone to tell you thanks.” All relationship was abusive. I’d be sent to the landfill and wait until the truck came that dumped the left-overs from the chicken processing factory. That was usually 10 to 11 p.m. Then up early for school. When we did eat, we did so in a hurry before someone else took our food.

The culture was dominated by evil spirits superstition. For example, we had to walk in the house backwards after 10 p.m. to avoid allowing evil spirits to enter the house with us. This same belief in evil spirits superstition led to the conclusion of the adults in the home where I was living that I had stolen some money which I never did. As a 9 year old I was not able to convince anyone that I did not take the money. I guess the evil spirits knew best. From that incident on I was seen as a liar.

I was now living in a world where no one believed me. Life became very lonely. I was blamed for anything missing so I soon began to steal because I was blamed anyway. A thief and liar I became because I was labeled that. At about age 11 I was working for an American Caucasian woman as her yard boy and one day she told me I would never amount to anything, which continued to feed my poor self image I quit school at 12 and began working full-time. From the age of 12 to 21 I worked on farms, a grocery, textile manufacturing and a car and truck assembly plant. I completely missed out on a high school education.

At 18, I was coerced to attend the Nazarene church. For the first time I found that people were interested in me. I blossomed. Took on leadership roles, sang in the choir. Became very involved and at the age of 20 felt like God was calling me into the ministry. Went to Bible school four years. I was accepted in to Bible College because I passed an entrance exam. While in Bible College I felt God was directing me to the US to further my education in the area of counseling. Through some clear divine intervention, I found myself at a Christian University on the East Coast – with no money. I could tell you many great stories of God’s provision for me. God continued his miraculous ways and seminary was next. In six years I had my bachelor’s degree, 2 masters, an apartment and a car. Not bad for guy who had to depend on a friend to purchase his ticket to come to the US. And at the end I did not owe a penny for my education. All this on a student visa because the Immigration would not give me a work permit. Talk about God having a plan for you?

I met my wife-to-be in seminary. She and I were married the weekend following our graduation from seminary. Six weeks later we were on our way to our first mission service where she and I pastored and taught in the Bible School and I carried on a counseling practice. After ten years, on to England for study and pasturing and now back in the States. We didn’t want to place our child in child care so I’ve been a stay-at-home dad. It has been a most refreshing time, forcing me to focus on my emotional healing and personal growth.

What is the gain from all the early loss? I’m certainly more appreciative of relationships and material blessings we have. I’m a good counselor because I connect quickly with people in pain. I can sense people’s struggles rapidly and they sense my understanding . I’m seeing God as the only real Dad I had (have.) This is helping me be a better dad to our daughter, age 3. This is the richest time of my Christian walk. WHAT GOD CAN DO! “Joseph”