Angry addict - 3

Continuing our journey of understanding the roots of angry addicts.

2. Some angry addicts have been taught that “good Christians” don’t get angry. In their piety, suppression was modeled. They know the anger is there but will stuff it. Unlike repression where the person doesn’t even know the anger is there, suppression puts a lid on it. Like repression, it will rear its ugly head in some destructive manner. The “good Christian” is well reminded by Swiss psychiatrist Paul Tournier’s words,
“Violence is in the heart of all men,
but we all have an inbuilt resistance
to recognizing it as a thing that concerns us.”

3.Often alcoholics were raised in homes where rage was the accepted malfunctioning means of anger expression. Eddie, a recovering meth addict, tells his story.
“Childhood is a blur. Dad worked and drank. He did nothing with me. Mom worked. Very little attention or nurturing. Relatives would give me money to drink alcohol when I was seven and eight years old. They enjoyed seeing a 7-year-old get drunk. This is about all I can remember until teen years.
“Enter violence. Guys in the labor camp were jealous of my car and clothes. I had to learn to fight. I found another use for golf clubs other than playing golf. That was my weapon of choice until the numbers got too big. I then carried a gun. One time a guy taunted me, slashed two of my tires and I blew up. I took out after him with my gun. Shot at him but kept missing him. I believe it was the Lord protecting me from getting into deep trouble. I was a Christian at the time but was not walking with the Lord.
“That violent lifestyle fit my family name. We were known as killers because of some relatives who would go down into Mexico, get into fights and end up killing people. I saw dad shoot a guy. We had to run. Moved to Mexico for a time.
“At the age of 19 I had two children with the girl with whom I was living. I carried my angry childhood into that relationship and was abusive to her. She taunted me with stories of other men. I blew up and was arrested for assault. It was at that time, I told God I was through with Him. If this was all the christian life was about, I had enough. I got into meth heavily. It helped me not feel the pain and made me feel better about life. The down side was a buildup of anger, pride, deception, controlling and erasure of memories. I stayed on it for 11 years.”

Eddie is an example of raging parent producing raging child.. The pain is severe for those living with a rageaholic. Alcohol or drugs are the means to cope – to escape the memories of the abusive home environment. It works – temporarily! But an ever increasing amount of chemical substance is needed to quell the childhood and adult pain.

More tomorrow