angry addicts - 4

Continuing our discussion on the background for angry addicts.

4. Another anger contaminant in addictions is being raised in a home that perpetuated helplessness. Terrence Real writes in Psychology Today, “Anger regularly stems from helplessness. If you’re walking around angry, it’s often because you’re trying to control some thing and it’s not cooperating. The way to be less angry is to let go of your control.”

From my experience of roughly 45,000 hours of professional counseling, I can firmly say that a person who feels helpless, call it victim mentality, is always an angry person. Angry toward significant people in their life and especially toward God. The anger is usually contained because any expression of anger would lead to more rejection and greater victimization. This person doesn't realize that the poison of anger is eating its own container.

I am quick to add that some addicts were raised in loving, nurturing homes. The home environment is not always the basic foundation for the development of addictions.

Shawn, a 25-year-old, reports, “I’m charged with eight felonies, 70 misdemeanors, including armed robbery, possession of meth and other drugs with intent to sell, 15 petty thefts, drug paraphernalia, possession of stolen property, numerous traffic tickets, in and out of jail since the age of 17, including time in prison.”

Shawn describes his childhood as near perfect. Dad involved in his activities – Cub Scouts, football, baseball, bowling, soccer and church. Mother was such a loving mom that it helps him understand God’s love. “They did all they could to get me into activities that would keep me out of trouble.”

“Cigarettes, liquor and drugs began at the age of 12. I managed to hide this from my parents all the way until my senior year in high school. The older I got the stupider I became. By this time I was addicted to multiple things. It didn’t matter if I was abusing drugs, speeding down the neighborhood or vandalizing something as long as I wasn’t supposed to do it. I did it and loved it. I enjoyed breaking the law.”

When I asked him why the destructive behavior, Shawn words were, “poor self image, wanted acceptance from friends and I was picked on a lot as a kid for being over weight.”
Shawn is back into the work world, heavily engaged in church and turning his life God-ward. In fact, he is a real inspiration to this writer.

More tomorrow