Pain and self esteem

We might go so far as to assert that God loves adversity, not for the pain it produces but for the character it can create.

Crises and difficut cirmcumstances can potentially elicit the best in a person. A study of resilient adults revealed hardiness developed because individuals were sorely tested through suffering and emerged stronger than they believe they would have otherwise. As a result, they valued life greatly.

Counseling in the past has been labeled “The damaged model”, described by the cumulative effect of coping with life’s difficulties takes an inevitable roll, resulting in symptoms and behavior problems. This model can reinforce a victimization attitude.

We need to recognize that amid problems we also have God-given strengths that are able to be harnessed with hope and confidence that life can be faced productively, no matter the circumstances.

Crises and difficulties have the potential to either transform or destroy us. God uses the fallout from crises to refine and hone our understanding of his great love for us and His sovereignty in our lives, oviously resulting in a more positive self esteem.
Resiliency assumes:
V God created us in His image, Gen.1:27, 5:3
V We are of great value to God, Psa.8:4-9, Matt. 10:31
V God is sovereign and God is good, Eph.1:23, Psa.73:1, Psa.31:19
V God seeks the best for us, Jer.29:11, Psa.20:4
V God in His wisdom allows human suffering, 1Pet.4:12-13
V We have hope, Rom.12:12, 15:13; Eph.1:18, Heb.6:19 and 10:23
V In our obedience we surrender to the Lordship of Christ, Phil.3:13-14, 2 Cor.9:13

Louis Smedes: We need to suffer the cussed wrongness of life in order to find its deep righeousness. We have to feel pain we do not want to feel, carry burdens we do not want to carry, put up with misery we do not want to put up with, cry tears we do not want to shed. If we feel no hurt now, we will, when it is all said and done, be the most miserable of all people.
adapted from Marian Every