Relationships 6

Humility, honesty and respect are three attributes found in a dynamic male friendship, so postulate Vawter and Wetherbe in their manuscript “ Achieving High Performance Friendship - A Book for Men It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

“Usually the larger challenge is respectfully coaching a friend’s behavior that is not in his best interest. It takes courage, diplomacy and respect to not shy away from this responsibility in a friendship. Would we not be better served by receiving constructive criticism provided from honest friends?” (Vawter and Wetherbe)

An early marker of a good friend is that he not only respectfully acknowledges our good works but helpfully and truthfully encourages us in areas we could and should do better. Our Wednesdy morning group in Nampa, Band of Brothers, would periodically challenge me with the words “you are too hard on yourself.” At times I would agree with them because I believe some of my idealistic desires left me thinking of myself more poorly than I should.

 On the other hand, I believe the more Christ-like growth the Holy Spirit works within us, the more we see that which detracts from our growth. The desire is to repudiate that destructive attitude or behavior. I believe a person can’t be too hard on himself if the focus shifts quickly from the observation of the abberent to repentance to acceptance of God’s grace.

 The first step in growth is to see that which needs growth. As has been said, “A real friend will tell you when you have a booger.” What a treasure is a friend or group of guys who will lovingly with humility confront attitudes or behavior that needs change.”Thanks, Nampa Band of Brothers, for your involvement in my growth process.”