Rx for Crash and Burn

         Just as no two Parkinson’s patients are alike in symptomatolagy  or treatment; so also for Christians. In resolving their crash and burn situations.different strategies are constructed. My strategy, based on prayer and seeking wisdom from God was  this:

Break down generalized ”crash and burn” identity crisis into workable facets. Like guilt, shame, anger, false guilt,self esteem, what is truth and what is a lie,.etc. It is most difficult to work with a generalized diagonosis – “old man not worth anything” or  derogatory labels placed upon you by another. Like “There goes fatso..’ So my self-diagnosis of “identity crisis” had to be broken down

Underlying the whole process is the word “authenticity,” total honesty with oneself and with God. “GOD, I’m feeling worse than nothing. You’ve given me some wonderfull  successes in the past. But now you have seemingly closed all doors for achievement, for performance, for ministry.

Issue #1 Lousy communicator: I could be on a quest for learning more about world’s happenings so that I could  improve my ability to communicate “small talk.” Or, just accept the reality.

Stuttering. That is  different. Most stutterers I know mellow out as they get older. Fluent speech comes with time and maturity. Time and maturity was working for me until, I began taking a stronger Parkinson’s medication about 3 years ago.. Stuttering kicked back in full force and now it is the worst it  has ever been.

Some studies indicate that there is a connection with the brain’s dopamine. Not enough can cause Parkinson’s. Too much triggers stuttering. I don’t know. All I know is that is what happened to me.

So, the prescription for issue #1 is  develop a strategy for becoming more knowledgeable or accept the fact that I’m not a good communicator and that will be ok. There doesn’t appear to be  any more I can do about the stuttering, except pray for a miracle.

Issue #2: I was comparing my self to three young successful bucks and was found wanting. Such foolishness, comparing  two different seasons of life. The Bible says ”bring your thoughts into captivity.” Burwick, you’ve got a choice – either be grateful for how God has blessed you during your “performance years;”or complain about what you don’t have now. (Which so easily can turn into bitterness.which  leads to depression.)

“So Father, I repent of my selfcenteredness that lead me to comparing with those three  young men. Bless  them so that they become even more successful. And, thank you that I don’t have  to work. And thank  you for all the success you have provided for me in the past.”

So, I need not fret over what I don’t  have now, and I don’t need to get defensive when someone confronts me.

What did I learn?

·        The crash and burn experience was good for me. It addressed my spiritual pride. Can’t be spiritually proud when you are in a funk and it helps break the cycle of unhealthy pride for the future.

·        I’ve learned for the umpteenth time that God is enough. There are, or will be, times in your life when all hell seems to  be cut loose, and nothing on a human level will meet those deep longings (for God) – which I believe we all have. It’s too bad that we usually have to be stripped of our false supports to come to that  point when we plunge a bit deeper into the pit  of idolatries(God replacements), repent and turn to Him at an ever-deepening level. The stripping process is not pleasant, but the product is seen as more than worth the adversity.

·         Teaching a concept doesn’t mean one has assimulated it. I have taught“Who we are in Christ” and “Knowing God as my Source of Security” for 37 years. I’ve written a book on it “Self Esteem: you  are better than  you think." There should be no reason why I’m having an identity crisis. When I’m feeling down, I can remind myself of who I really  am in Christ and my Source of securiy is The Creator of the universe.

Why doesn’t this concept stay seared into my brain? My opinion is that lessons are best learned in an emotional setting. To learn about our identity in Christ is more quickly learned as I experience Identity Crisis.

And what I thought were God’s words to me was getting to some core issues, “Ray, that is not identity crisis, that is selfcenteredness. Stop your flesh thinking and remind yourself of who  you really are in Christ and who I am as your loving Father.”

·        Relationships are more important then production. This concept is something that I’ve been trying to learn for 30 years, beginning with surgery for a spinal tumor in 1981. I believe that God orchestrated that event, speaking to my spirit saying, “Ray, you  are a hard worker and  that is good. However, your work ethic has replaced your people focus. Doing has become more important  then being. The greatest commandment is love – Me first,  then others and yourself. It is not perform and achieve for approval of others. Allow Me to love others through you, beginning wit h your wife,and you will feel more significant and you will enjoy a more relaxed lifestyle.”

I’ve been working at this since. BUT, I love to work, and I’m finding   that it can be an escape from relationships, along with being iolatry (achievement ranks above time with God.)

Different situations have occured since 1981 to remind me that work shouldn’t be “numero uno,” the latest being my four-wheeler accident  that has rendered my left leg almost  useless. And of course,  the Parkinson’s which is  escalating and slowing me way down.

             This is what I’m learning.  This is why I can do my James one  rejoicing even in  tough times knowing God is at work, shaping me and growing me more into the image of Jesus. (Romans 8:28-29)

Thanks for walking through this with me. I hope  you can catch the power behind the simplicity of these thoughts.