40 Staples

YUP, HERE'S PROOF.There is a brain. Well, at least aftermath of the Deep Brain Stimulation surgery. We are two weeks out of surgery. 
   The battery gets activated next week, though it is in my chest now. 40 staples closed the sawing and drilling phase.
   Nothing of significance has  transpired yet. Dyskinesia stopped immediaely but has returned at half force. (only when I'm eating.) Can't figure that out.
    Thanks for your prayer. I was at peace through the whole procedure.For results, my petition to our Father is that balance can be restored. Falling is not conducive to keeping body in tact.

Rejoicing doesn’t alleviate the pain. But it sets an atmosphere where pain is more manageable.Mondy morning, 7:30, I was modeling the gown that receives he most ink – the open back surgery gown.Rejoicing? I was not. But there  was  peace. Dr. Mandybur could easily have as his theme song: Crown Him with Many crowns.He was deftly applying a titanium crown, beginning with  gently ramming two side pieces in to each ear in my skull. He used that as  the guiding points for placement of the crown’s four-foot thorns…about 79 of them. Just teasing. That was fairly painful. But the locals he gave, about eight, to deaden the skin for entry of the probes, was rather unpleasant. Then, because the cat scan was not processed correctly he had to give them all  over  again.

After the crown was dug into my skull, he put me out and I was out for an hour or two. To be awakened with  questions and directions to perform. I told him if he could find the stutter button and disconnect it, I’d pay him double. He did find the speaking in tongues button. One prod triggered a language I hadn’t heard before. Actually, I would have called it garbolly-goop. That all happened in 4 -5 hours.

 The pain continued the following day at home with a neck sting. Tomorrow, surgery continues with the placement of the battery pack in my chest. Hopefully the  spine problem can be corrected soon.

Scores of people have told us they have been praying for me. THANKS

Brain Drilling

Two types of drilling will be going on Monday at 9 a.m. My home state  of North Dakota  has hit the big time in oil production.Drilling is non stop in scores  of wells. The other kind of drilling I’m concerned about is the two holes that will be drilled in my head.

Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) begins  at 9 a.m. with connection of two wires to spots in the brain, then directed to my chest. Thursday a power pack will be inserted in my chest that qualifies me for participation  in the best looking bionic man contest.

I’m surprised by my lack of fear. I’m at peace about the whole affair.Several people have told me they were praying for me. That must be the cue, cuz normally the fear would be internalized and come out with some bodily dysfunction.

A decision had to be made between the DBS, hip replacement or possible back surgery for a disc out of  line. That, along with the ongoing ATV accident which has depleted much of the nerve activity in left leg and foot, I’m beginning to feel a little like Job. Job’s  response to his adversity was, “The Lord gives and he Lord has taken away, may the name of the Lord be praised.” I’m endeavoring  to know more deeply the truth of God’s sovereignty. He either causes or allows our circumstances – “the Lord gives and the Lord  takes away.”

 Then the ultimate goal is found in Job's  remarks half way through the book,  “though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.” I don’t know what to expect from DBS – could be a  stroke. My hope is not in the surgery results but in God alone who, according to Matt. ?:11, wants to give good gifts to me.

If you have been following this blog, you will recall that a week or two ago we were examining the James 1:2-8 "Rejoice in adversity. This is probably not my final test in rejoicing. But this seems like a big one...Rejoice in brain surgery? Rejoice because my back is at times in excruciating pain? Rejoice  when I'm experiencing the bone on bone hip situation? It seems like an unattainable task. Too idealistic!
That is when God slips up on me and gently whispers, "Ray,  trust  me. I'll use what  ever happens  through the surgery, for your growth in Christ and so that others can see my hand and learn  to trust me also.You are smack dab in the middle of my will. The results of your  brain surgery are in my hand. I love you more than you can imagine."
Peace, wonderful peace.

Brain MRI

 Had a brain MRI this week. Good news. Bad news. Good news?  They were able  to  locate a brain. For many norwegian-estonians, that is sometimes a stretch. But they had to work for it and finally the machine located the target half ways between my feet and my head. No, just kidding.

The bad news? The diagnosis was insufficient dopamine caused by eating too much lutefisk and lefsa.  No, just  messing with you.The MRI was done in preparation for DBS. (Deep brain stimulation,) scheduled for Monday morning. The doctors will drill two holes in my skull into which they will insert wires. Another surgery four days later to insert a battery pack in my chest to which the wires will be connected.Then a few doctor visits to regulate the juice.

Kinda scarey. But the people who I talked to about their experience with DBS are gung hoe about the procedure.  Your are  the counselor. You ask me, “How are you feeling about this operation?”

I reply, “Three months ago I had said ‘No way, Hosea. No one is messing with my brain.’” Now my response is if there is a way to lesson the symptoms, lets go for it. Especially for  Theresa’s sake. She has been a wonderful care-giver, but I don’t want her to have all that extra pressure of taking care of an old invalid.

God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” And that is over-riding the fear.

My quick prayer every time I am fearful is: “Lord, I’m in your hands and I trust your promise that “all things will work together for my good, the good of others and for your glory.”

Another M RI tomorrow on my back and hip. Will keep tabs for you.

HE IS RISEN

“He is risen!”

“He is risen indeed.”

This is a common Easter greeting for Christians around the world. Easter is my favorate  time of the year. So, I share with you appropriately some exerts from one of my favorate passages of Scripture – 2nd Corinthians 5:15-21

 He (Jesus) died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them. This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin so that we could be made right with God through Christ.

Doesn’t that blow your mind. The pre-Christian hears the Gospel. Receives Christ as Savior and Lord. He/she is a new person. A fresh influence within, called the Holy Spirit,  empowers the new believer to live for God and for others. We don’t have to be controlled by fear, resentment, self-centeredness and other unhealthy attitudes. As we yield our lives to Christ and His ways,  the Holy Spirit empowers us to become more Christ-like … more peace of mind, more joy and contentment - a new person.

However, some of the most miserable people I’ve met are Christians, torn between their self-centeredness  and the new life Christ has given them. Sometimes the problem lies in a rebellious spirit. But most  of the time, the cause for their misery is not being honest with themselves. They blame others for their angry spirit, their negative critical attitude. Or they make excuses like, “I’m just kind of on edge today.”  Rather than face their tendency  to be negative, angry and critical, followed by confession to God and the other person involved.

He is risen!

He is risen indeed and is showing me unhealthy attitudes (like spiritual pride) and empowering me  to change and  mature in Him.

I trust He is risen in your life also.

more on joy

Birmingham's John Wheeler responded to my writing on  "joy," with these interesting comments.

 Joy is proof to the world that God can fully satisfy the human heart. In Your presence is fullness of joy. -- Ps 16:11

 Joy is not a luxury or a mere accessory in the Christian life. It is the sign that we are really living in God's wonderful love, and that His love satisfies us. -- Andrew Murray

 Joy is the component that, when added to a trial, provides the strength to endure it.  For the joy of the Lord is your (my) strength. -- Neh 8:10

 Joy is not the absence of trouble, but the presence of Christ. Let the heart of them rejoice who seek the Lord. -- I Chron 16:10

Thanks, John.

An "Impossible" Directive Exposed - 12

This is the last posting of theJames "Impossible" directive -  rejoice during tough times. I hope the study has been helpful to you.

To get James 1:2-5, 12 into shoe leather:

1.      Recognize God’s sovereignty – all powerful. He could have prevented the adversity.

2.      Commit your life to Him  and yield to His plan for  your life.

3.      Shift focus from the circumstances to asking Him for wisdom on what He is wanting to do in  your life. How is He wanting  you to grow?

4.      Something may need to be done about the situation – an intervention, a confrontation, a tightened budget or whatever the situation calls for. But that will not be the focus. The focal point is “How does God want to use this in my  life?”

5.      Don’t try to sqirm out of the difficulty or be too quick to ask God for a reprieve.Rather, allow Him to do a deep work within of healing and growth. That is something about which to rejoice.  There may come a time when you need to take action. Like the wife of an adulterous  husband.  You may ask him to leave if he doesn’t want to let go of the other gal. But the eviction is for him, to awaken him to reality, not for  your own comfort.

6.       Recall the promise of James 1:2-4 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ³ For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ⁴ So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. Great rejoicing material.

A very dear friend, Dr. John Vawter, suggested I include with the question: “How do I see my Parkinson’s Disease as a refiner and not as an enemy?” Hopefully a good way to end this study.   Walk with me as  I shoe leather  this example.

            PD is basically a diminution  of dopamine in the  brain. It doesn’t act the same way in any two people, nor does a singular treatment fit all. The cause of PD has not been determined. For me, the symptoms are: no energy or strength when “off”; driving complications (I have  quit driving); balance - I fall much – fractured rib, etc.; insomnia excerbated by RLS; Dyskinesia ( body movement out of control);  bradykinesia (slow body movement); stuttering worsened markedly when a stronger medication was needed; drooling; constipation; and much more. I don’t want to bore  you, so that ‘s enough. Needless to say it is very restrictive, at times very painful, and sometimes quite embarrassing.

 I’m scheduled for Deep Brain Stimulation surgery April 23. . Deep brain stimulation involves inserting very thin wire electrodes into specific targets in the brain:  The electrodes are attached to a generator implanted under the skin in the chest, much like a pacemaker, resulting in a roughly 30% diminishment of symptoms and the  possibility of taking less medication

Do I perceive this as an enemy to my well-being or as God’s loving, refining process? Got  your  shoes on? Hike with me.

I have 65 years of walking with Him, so I have a record of how He has taken care of me all this time.  I recognize God’s sovereignty – He is all powerful and He could have prevented the adversity. I’m committed to Him and whatever His plan is for my  life. Thus, I know that is important to  shift focus from the  stressful wages of Parkinson’s (and stuttering) to: “God, what are you wanting to do in my life through  this adversity? How can this be a good gift from you? (Matthew 7:11) Then, I can truthfully rejoice, because my focus is not on the hard times but on what God is wanting to do in and through me.How He wants to mature me.

 

I’d like to say I handle all the PD stress given in the above paragraph perfectly, 100% of the time. But I would be lying. After having fallen five times one day, I grew very discouraged and wept. Wept out of sorrow for all I have lost. Wept out of frustration for all the blocked doors, present and future. And once in a while I can get  a little self pity going. That’s ugly but that is where I am part of the time.

 

Shoe leather continues with: “Is there anything I should be doing about it?” Seeking medical help is most appropriate and that is where the brain surgery enters the picture. But  neither PD nor its treatment is the focus. I desire to be a man who loves God and people and I want to walk closely with Christ. That kind of growth can only come  through tough times.

My desire (most of the time) is to deeply integrate that fifth shoe leather principle: “Don’t try to sqirm out of the difficulty or be too quick to ask God for a reprieve.Rather, allow Him to do a deep work within of healing and growth. That is something about which to rejoice.” 

 

 We are applying James 1:2-4 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ³ For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ⁴ So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. Great rejoicing material.

 

As I make that most difficult decision to bring my thoughts into captivity, from the pain of adversity to the James chapter one principle, I reap the blessing described in verse 12 of that first chapter. ¹² God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

If you would like a 13 page email copy of this series, let me know at rburwick@mindspring.com