Affirmation of others 3

In our last post we spoke of the skill of listening to affirm others. Listening becomes more proactive with the asking of questions. It has been said, “Good questioning skills may be the world's most unsung talent. Ask the right questions in the right way, and you'll engage people; do it differently, and you'll put them off.”

One successful sales person states:"Sellin’ ain’t tellin’, askin’ is." I heard this simple but true homily years ago when working in Texas. Merrill Lynch spent thousands of dollars and six months in California and New York on sophisticated courses and seminars to train me to sell stocks and bonds. Yet, over the years this bit of country wisdom from Texas has been one of the most powerful and useful lessons I’ve ever learned. To be successful in sales, you must master the art of asking questions. WHY? One of the most obvious reasons you ask questions is to acquire information. The conscientious professional will spend a great deal of time and effort to learn about their client. The person asking questions is always in control of a discussion. This control can be used gracefully to lead and direct the client to a successful outcome or it can be abused."

As important as the art of listening is for sales people, how much more for building long-lasting, deeply caring relationships.

There seem to be three main types of questions: factual which has components of general or personal. Interpretive. And evaluative, which involves the most risk of rejection.

For example
` Impersonal factual questions have only one correct answer, like “who won the game last night, Celtics or Lakers?" A more personal factual question would be “did your favorate team win the game last night?” Factual questions usually “break the ice” and can lead to the next depth of relationship: Interpretive questions.

“In the Lakers / Celtics game, why do you think the Celtics won?” The answers are not right or wrong, but the exercise quickens the affirmation for the person.

And lastly, the Evaluative questions. Asking for some kind of opinion, belief or point of view. “So, if you were the coach of the Lakers, what would you have done differently to beat the Celtics?” There are no wrong answers. The depth of relationship is expanded. Affirmation for the other is quickened.

The art of asking questions.