Friendship's Support

A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts who you have become and still gently invites you to grow. ~ William Shakespeare

“Support is one of the great gifts and essentials of high performance friendship. To support a friend is to serve as his foundation. It is to uphold and sustain under trial or affliction with patience and tolerance.” (Vawter and Wetherbe in their manuscript ‘Achieving High Performance Friendship.’

Wives often ask for support when they are presenting a problem to their husbands. They often don’t want the problm solved. They just want to know they are being heard and supported.

On the other hand, men, in our egocentricity, don’t feel we need sjupport… until we “crash and burn.” My first awareness of need for support came when our twin son died at birth. Many friends told us of their prayer for us or gave us a supportive type scripture. But the one who I felt supported me most was the friend who called in the evening of that fateful day simply saying,” Do you need a shoulder?”

Or Dave, when my first wife died, always tuned in to support a guy who thought he was so independent, but found himself very lonely and needy. Or John, when he heard of Ann’s death, called and said, “I’ll cancel my schedule. I’ll fly out to meet you.”

And now, a very supportive family that takes up the slack, fills the gaps as Parkinson Disease steals memory and driving.

I am definitely one blessed man.
Some questions to ask ourselves as posed by Vawter and Wetherbe:

1. Can you describe a time when a friend was a “supportive friend” to you in a manner that far exceeded your expectations? What difference did it make in your life for the moment and for the future?

2. Do your friends perceive you as a supportive friend?

3. The point has been made that genuine friends want the best for us, and help us grow. How do you rank yourself in this area? Are you a genuine friend? How can you improve?