I'm discouraged

I write the following, not for sympathy, but to remind you (and me) that we have natural emotions that must be faced and processed or they become destructive. Before we can tap into the Christ-life we must face our humanness. Not sugar coat it with a Bible verse or run from it through some addiction. Here with, my recent journal entry:

     I’m discouraged. Periodic severe lower back pain, probably from limping. Dyskinesia from the Parkinson’s medicine that has me bobbing ands weaving like a boxer. Slow movements. Energy drains quickly. Loss of balance causing me to fall. Constant foot pain from the nerve damage. A lot of things I can no longer do. I chased some wild turkey on our property yesterday and couldn’t perambulate the slopes. Stuttering is worsening. And more.

     Oh, I know. Many people have it a lot worse. And who do I think I am to deserve better? Quit your bitchin’ Burwick

     I will. Not yet. I’m not  ready to  let it go.The problem with that attitude is, if I allow this discouragement to linger I’ll get depressed and function even less efficiently. After wallowing in discouragement for a couple hours, I chose to follow Biblical guidelines and began to let it go.

     First: The Bible tells us that God desires truth in the inner man. The  Psalmist challenges us to search our hearts. Probing our minds for that which is within that is not of God. For me, I found discouragement which plays out in lack of trust in God’s sovereignty – probably a subtle anger toward Him. Lack of gratitude for what I do have – for how God has blessed me in many ways.

     Second: Confession and repentance – a desire to turn from stinkin’ thinkin’to the reality of the Christ-life which has tough times but provides an empowerment to live above the natural. “God, I repent of my self centered discouragement.  Thanks for your forgiveness. Empower me to internalize Philippians 4:8  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Definitely a mental shift from what I don’t have to what I do have. Which leads to the reality of the transformed life found in

     Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Repent of the self  focus and ask for  God’s power to grow.

          Third:turn in my mind from self-thinking to praising God. For example bringing back to recall Psalm 34:

 ¹ I will extol the LORD at all times;
   his praise will always be on my lips.
² I will glory in the LORD;
   let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
³ Glorify the LORD with me;
   let us exalt his name together.

 ⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ Those who look to him are radiant;
   their faces are never covered with shame.
⁶ This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
   he saved him out of all his troubles.
⁷ The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
   and he delivers them.

 ⁸ Taste and see that the LORD is good;
   blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
⁹ Fear the LORD, you his holy people,
   for those who fear him lack nothing.
¹⁰ The lions may grow weak and hungry,
   but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

    A simple process, but oh, so difficult.  My spirits  lifted, to be challenged again some other day.