Remedy for Loneliness

We finished the last post with: “By instinct, we resist change. Change is uncomfortable. But change, we must, if we’re to become healthy through the loss. There is a fairly definable sequence of events that take place in loss and the need for change”
1. Denial, refusing to accept the need for change.

2. Resistance, fighting it tooth and nail. Sometimes I feel like I'm wresting with God and He has me pinned. With a pending divorce, we often cling and become possessive of the partner, driving them further away. In death, the resistance is clouded with shock “this couldn’t have happened to me.” Or if the death was long and painful, resistance is highlighted by the guilt of feeling relieved that the dying process is finished.

3. For the committed Christian, the next phase is usually a turning to God, either with anger (which is usually unconscious) or seeking answers from Him - WHY, and how do you want to use this in my life? May I suggest that being angry with God is very normal but usually denied. Who are we to be angry with a sovereign God? Yet, if we have an intimate relationship with him, the one we love the most we feel can hurt us the worst and that applies to God also."When tragic, unexplainable situations enter our lives, we must be willing to wrestle with our Sovereign, to honestly come to Him with our anger and broken heart. We must also be willing to rest in His wise ability to accomplish His purpose in His way for His kingdom and for us."(author unknown)

With His awesome power, He could have prevented the loss. Like David in the Psalms, face the anger, express it to God, and like David, let it go and dig deeper into trusting Him to be total Resource. Or, in seeking answers from Him, I so often prayed, “God, I’m so lonely. I miss that companionship so deeply. You promise to meet my needs. God, how are you going to be my companion in such a way that I can sense it?”

One of three things usually takes place after this kind of loneliness prayer;
1.He mystically comes along beside and comforts,or:
2. He impresses someone to be “God with skin on” for me and they come along beside; or,
3 there are times he seems to say, “No, I just want you to dig deeper into our relationship and nurture stronger intimacy with me. Trust me by faith that I’ll not only provide but I am preparing you for a new venture.
Denial, resistance, turning to God and then;
4. Begin the process of getting on with the change necessary for a life without your partner. Realize you are empowered by the Creator of the universe, so you can embrace the grief process whole heartedly. Journal your thoughts and feelings daily. Talk about it with a trusted friend who will listen and not be prone to give unasked for advice. Pray aggressively regarding the grief process and the loss. Dig deep into God’s word. Listen to and participate in praise music. Stay busy and productive. Minister to others, yet allow for those quiet times of reflecting and facing the pain.
More tomorrow on the paradox of pain.