We hear the story of another Lighthouse Mission resident, John. He is one of the beautiful guys at the Mission. Listen up!
I’m an addict. Dad was a workaholic who ran two farms, a garage and a gas station and died from a heat stroke when I was seven. I’ve been told he drank. Mom was addicted to cigarettes. When I was 17, I lost her to emphysema. My brother ended up in a mental hospital as a result of alcohol. He got drunk one night and tried to kill my sister with a butcher knife.
A move across country when I was 12 revealed my shyness. Making friends was difficult. One friend and I snuck some hard liquor at an adult party. I became very relaxed and thought it was cool. Little did I know the future results.
I started working in a grocery store when I was 14 to help with the family bills. I drank every weekend. It became a way to cope instead of being social. It helped me not to worry about my mom’s health and what the future would bring.
I thought I was prepared for her death but was fooling myself. I had a lot of friends by then but the best suppport after her death was in a bottle. People complimented me on how strong I was, working full time, attending high school (with a 3.5 GPA), living by myself, and owning a home with a mortgage. They had no idea I was becoming a functional alcoholic
I started college majoring in criminal justice, wanting to be a police officer. Ironic, I’m a felon because of alcohol. Working full time and drinking daily was lethal to college work and after one and a half years I dropped out. Alcohol was lethal to my marriage also. It lasted only two years. She cheated on me. I blamed myself for driving her to do it because of my verbal and mental abuse. I not only lost my wife but also my house.
I worked various jobs until a grocery store chain hired me, starting at the bottom and working my way up to assistant manager of my own store. I lived with a woman. Got pregnant. She had early delivery complications and I was told by the doctor that I could lose both her and the baby. I turned to God and asked for His help because I was in trouble and didn’t know what else to do. My wife was in labor all day and all night. I thought, “Why hang around here? I’ll go get some beer, go home for a while and celebrate. I’m going to be a daddy.” An alcoholic mind can talk itself into anyting no matter how stupid. We had a beautiful little girl.
I was fired for drinking on the job.
A severe car accident should have woke me up. We rolled twice. A woman came to me and began praying for me like nobody I had every seen pray before. I know God was there that day because the sheriff couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Instead of flying down a 200 foot embankment to certain death, we only sustained light injury. I asked the sheriff where the lady went who was praying for me. He said he didn’t know. I’m convinced I had contact with an angel.
God was trying to get my attention but I didn’t get it. Another divorce. Three DUI’s in five years – a felony. 17 months in jail. I got out. Went to AA. Got a sponsor but that wasn’t enough to keep me sober. My probation officer didn’t give up on me and instead of sending me to prison, he found the Lighthouse Mission for me. It’s the best thing that could have happened to me.
Psalm 37:1:7-8 applies to me. “I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love for you have seen my troubles and you care about the anguish of my soul. You have not handed me to my enemies, but put me in a safe place.”
I began a walk with God and was baptized this last Father’s Day. My daughter came and saw me the following day with a father’s day card and present. First time I had seen her in 3 years. I want her to someday to be proud of me. I still have a storm raging inside of me because I can’t forgive myself for the pain I’ve caused others. But God is working on me. Change is taking place.
My goal is to complete this program so that I can help others. I desire a closer walk with God.
John
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