Male significance needs

"When a man knows how to do something," Pablo Picasso told a friend, "he ceases being a man when he stops doing it." The result was a driven man.

Picasso's gift, once idolized, held him in thrall. Every empty canvas was an affront to his creativity. Like an addict, he made work his source of satisfaction only to find himself dissatisfied. "I have only one thought: work," Picasso said toward the end of his life, when neither his family nor his friends could help him relax. [Os Guiness, The Call (Nashville, Tennessee: Word Publishing, 1998), 242.]

What happens when you lose your job? Do you lose your calling? Do you lose your identity? Do you lose your sense of well-being?

Yes, I did. Much of my life there has been a little boy inside shouting to the world, "Notice me. Approve of me. Tell me I'm okay." Trophies and awards were very important to me. I wanted to be "firstest, bestest, quickest."

Men, in general, have as a basic need, the need for significance. Accomplishment satisfies this need unless childhood rejection or disapproval produced a greater need than normal. Then, like Picasso, work becomes a neurotic drive success - that is never quite satisfied. Gotta be more. Gotta do more.

For three years after a forced retirement, this ol' boy was one hurting pup. But God used it to purge and heal significant issues within me that has led to a current joy and contentment with just "being." Though I must admit, the hobby of creating barnwood projects, is a real blessing. There is still a little "fire in the belly."

Men! Achieve. Accomplish. But learn (before I did) that relationships are more important than acomplishment.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Praise the Lord!