Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Impact of Our Parentage on our view of God


Our real idea of God may lie buried under the rubbish of conventional religious notions and may require an intelligent and vigorous search before it is finally unearthed and exposed for what it is. Only after an ordeal of painful self probing are we likely to discover what we actually believe about God. Oswald Chambers.

When we have a “heart wound” concerning our parents, especially our father, it is like looking at God through a scratched lens. The wound, the scratch, is projected on to God giving us a distorted view of who and what He is and how He responds to us.

Perfectionistic dad – perfectionistic God. Distant dad – distant God.
Harsh, angry dad – harsh angry God. Lenient dad – lenient God.
Strict dad – strict God. Nurturing dad – Nurturing God. Absent dad - absent God.
This holds true for our mothers also, but not with as significant an impact.

DECONTAMINATING DAD/GOD
None of us were raised by a perfect dad. Some of us didn’t even know our father. How does one get a clearer picture of God uncontaminated with our earthly father? Begin with

1. Prayer: Father, because it is so natural for us to deny negative feelings toward our fathers, if there is any contamination I’m carrying from my earthly father that would obscure my view of You, please reveal it. Pray this kind of prayer over a period of time and be listening to that still small voice. Look also for circumstances that could be an answer to your prayer.

2. Acknowledgement of an imperfect dad relationship. (Face it. Feel it. Not to place blame, but to take ownership of our feelings toward dad.)

3. Acknowledge how it affected your view of God.

4. Yield the right to have had a perfect earthly father. (Let go of any hurt or resentment.)
5. Embark on an aggressive forgiving process.
Forgiveness is the eye wash that allows us to se God more clearly with the eyes of our heart. Forgiveness polishes away the scratches on the lens of the eye of our heart.

6. See and appreciate the value of the imperfect father (how God is
turning dad’s weakness and imperfection into something of value for your good, the benefit of others and to the glory of God.) For example, my dad was a great example for strong work ethic. I’m grateful for that. However, he wasn’t there for me emotionally. That created significant insecurities that has driven me to seek my security and significance in Father God. And I’m grateful for that!

7. While you are seeking to know and enjoy God more intimately, practice a Holy Spirit-empowered joyful, grateful attitude. Remembering Matthew 7:11, You earthly fathers being evil love to give good gifts to your children, how much more your heavenly father wants to give to you…

If you have a personal story on this topic, I’d like to hear it so I can share it with others. Email me at rburwick@mindspring.com

2 comments:

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