The fearful one.Hannah W. Smith was once speaking with an intelligent agnostic, hoping to have a Christian influence on him. He made an interesting statement, “Well madam, all I have to say is this. If you Christians want to make us agnostics inclined to look into your religion, you must try to be more omfortable in the possession of it yourselves. The Christians I meet seem to me to be the very most uncomfortable people anywhere around. They seem to carry their religion as a man caries a headache. He does not want to get rid of his head, but at the same time is is very uncomfortable to have it. And I for one do not care to have that sort of religion..”
Rather a convicting observation. Like, “Ray, why were you so fearful when you experienced that Parkinson’s crash and burn a couple weeks ago? If you believe I’m in control and have the best in mind for you, why the fear?”
Though having walked with God for 63 years, I realized that there was a depth of God- awareness that I was missing. This prompted me to organize memorized Scripture on God’s love. I re-read Smith’s book “God of all Comfort. The most meaningful exercise was having the Lighthouse Mission men write a love letter from God to each of them and to me, but even that awareness was short-lived.
It made me wonder if learning about God’s love happens mostly through an affective experience. Some stretching, time of turbulence, being in over my head provides the emotional (affective) environment to mesh that which I had studied cognitively and an inching down from head to heart takes place.
Music seems to be an arena where head meets heart. When Theresa and I play music and sing together, there is often tears of joy and gratitude. Head to heart.
I’d be interested to know your experience in deepening an awareness of God’s love.
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