Monday, May 12, 2008

Intro to Ann Burwick

As a memorial to my first wife, Ann, I’d like for you to hear from her regarding the topic of security and how that fits into the series of building a positive self esteem.

She presented this material at various settings before her death. But before her material is introduced on this blog, indulge me in sharing with you her last moments on earth, which I had journaled.

"You're not having a stroke on me, are you?" I teasingly said to my wife of 36 years. I had just come home from Saturday morning basketball practice and found Ann making a bed. As she looked at me the left side of her face looked twisted. I took her to a mirror and she felt her face. There was no emotion. No fear. No anxiety. It was a definite twisted left side of the face. Within moments her speech was slurred. Then stumbling.

I quickly called 911. Within 10 to 15 minutes the paramedics were checking her over, suspicious first of an overdose. Not! A quick trip to the emergency room of the local small hospital. Nothing they could do for her there. Ambulance trip to a large hospital 40 minutes away. Enroute the ambulance driver said: "the dam burst" (brain aneurysm).

I was given the choice of surgery for Ann or not. The neurosurgeon's words were: "If I do surgery, chances are slim that she will live. If she lives, chances are extremely high that she'll be a vegetable. If we do nothing, she'll be gone in a few hours."
My initial response was, "no, I don't want to make a life and death decision of this magnitude. The life of my wife in my hands? No!"

However, after moments of consideration and a long distance call to our oldest child, Amy, the decision was made. The slim chance of her living would have surely placed her in a nursing home for the remainder of her life, not having presence of mind. Ann wouldn't want that. Seven hours from the twisted cheek experience she was in the presence of Jesus, singing with the angels. Good news for her. Devastating to those of us she left.

Ann was a great woman who had the skill of making people feel loved and accepted. She was an excellent counselor, attested by many who spoke at her memorial services. She had processed considerable emotional pain herself and used that to help others. Grandparenting was especially meaningful to her.

Ann's was a sudden death, completely unexpected. She was in great health. She was enjoying her position as a counselor at Bryan College. Our children later told me she had called all of them that Saturday morning in the best spirits they had heard her. Was it a premonition?

We’ll hear from her in tomorrow’s posting on the topic of Real Security. You will be enriched by her words..

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ray,
I am not sure if you will remember me but Ann counseled my wife in Birmingham and I worked with you on the farm you were building to help pay. I was a mess then, I still am as we all are but at least I know it now. Ann was always so kind and affirming. And you are apparently a aptient man to have put up with my lack of building abilites. I did not know that Ann had passed until I ran into an old friend from Briarwood the other day. However, I have often thought back upon the uncommon graces shown by both of you during that time in my life. When I think of Ann I smile, even though the circumstances that brought me to know her were painful. May God, bless you and your wife. Darian G. Burns

Anonymous said...

To the family of Mr. Burwick: I am sorry for the loss of Ray in 2014. It's 6 years later and I came across his blog with the last entries in 2014. I read his obituary on the internet in Birmingham and now, this 'Intro to Ann', his first wife. I am so touched by his ability to express himself as well as his many other accomplishemnts. He must have been the best of good men. At least I was able to learn of him. Sincerely, Sam Smith Pittsburgh, PA