Ultimate Security 2, Ann Burwick

Continuing the late Ann Burwick’s study on the topic “Ultimate Security.”

One noticeable change in my reactions began to appear after Ray and I would have an argument; in my insecurity I would always panic to get his approval again and to have everything fine between us; even if I would have to take responsibility for his wrongs as well as my own.

As I began to experience emotional security in my relationship with God I seem to lose that panic to make everything O.K. not depending on Ray's approval for my well being. As I allow God to meet my deep need for security I can have realistic expectations of marriage.

I would not like to lose my husband. If he should leave me tomorrow I'd be very hurt and angry or if God should take him home, I would be very sad and lonely, I'm sure, but I would not be devastated. II Cor 4:8-10 we are perplexed but not in despair, cast down but not destroyed; DEU 33:27 The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.

I cannot deny that our relationships do deeply affect us and we do long for a person to love and accept us and to experience relational security. However, our goal is to first seek spiritual intimacy with God that Adam once had. Then we will not seek for others to be the source of our security and fulfillment, something they cannot possibly be for us. This is how a God given longing for a companion becomes unhealthy - EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCY. We feel a need to be completed and look to a human to do this. When he {or she} doesn't, we begin to control or manipulate. When we don't get the attention and praise, respect or behavior we think we deserve we get hurt or angry, grumble and scheme and try to make him or her do what we want.

Obviously, this dependency is not only seen in marriage but in any human relationship where we put someone in God's place and demand he meet our deepest needs. This is not only abusing rather than enjoying a relationship, but isn't this idolatry? ISA. 42:17 But those who trust in idols, who say to images, "You are our gods, will be turned back in utter shame. EXO 20:3 "You shall have no other gods before Me." It was interesting how God allowed Ray to let me down or disappoint me whenever I would feel secure with him in God's rightful place. I'm not saying we shouldn't express our relational desires to our spouses and friends but that the CRUCIAL needs only God can meet. We are simply not enough for each other because we are human, we sin and fail each other, but God can be enough.

More tomorrow on Ultimate Security