Identity - Positive Self Esteem Man's Way 2

Granddaughter Kayleigh Keister

We looked at building self esteem from Man’s point of view yesterday. Today we continue in that theme, information garnered from a web site. I don’t agree with the information in total, but there is some truth that can be gained from a humanistic aproach. (It’ll be truth that concurs with Biblical principles.)

How the mind plays in developing positive self perception.
If two lower courts conflict over federal law, then the conflict is referred to a higher court. Eventually the case may go to the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court relies upon the U.S. Constitution as the ultimate code of law.

The same principle applies to resolving conflicts between lower parts of ourselves. We can choose to make our Higher Selves our Supreme Courts. (I would call "Higher Selves" the Spirit-led life as viewed in Scripture.) We can give our Higher Selves this authority by choosing to resolve inner conflicts with questions like, "Which alternative will create the most happiness for me and others?" or "Which is the most honest?" "Which will lead to the most growth?" Our "Constitution" consists of values and beliefs such as these.

==> For every old or dysfunctional belief, question it, confront it,explain it, or persuade it with a more powerful Higher Self belief.

We cannot unlearn old beliefs and habits. We can never entirely erase an old belief or habit, because we can never completely unlearn something we have learned any more than we can forget 2 + 2 = 4. However, we can get better control of these dysfunctional parts by (1) understanding them--especially their negative effects--and by (2) acting on messages from our healthier parts.

Accept the past as past--focus on the present and future. One client came in because he was almost 40 and had been in college for almost 20 years without ever completing all the courses he signed up for! He was intelligent, but had always lacked motivation. He typically set very high goals, and started semesters with a bang. If he had problems or lost interest, he would fall behind and then drop out when he was not making "A" grades. Many of his friends were professionals with high incomes and jobs he envied. He said, "I think I'm as smart as they are, but I've just wasted my life."

One thought that had haunted him for years was, "Look where I would be if I had just worked hard and finished college in my early twenties." This thought was so strong that it was a powerful impetus for his constant dropping out. He learned to replace that thought with a different point of view. He would put himself into the future 20 years, when he would be almost 60. He then asked himself, "How will I feel if I look back to the age I am now and say, 'If I had completed college then, look where I would be today'."

Whenever he would start to focus on the past missed opportunities, he would refocus on this new way of looking at the future instead. His new focus lite a fire under him. This was the first semester that he had ever completed all the classes he signed up for. Not only that, but he made good grades. He has since graduated and was completing his Master's degree the last time we met.

More tomorrow on "man's way" of building self esteem.