Shaped by the Death of a Brother

I knew something was wrong. My sister and I had been called out of school and escorted to the hospital. As I entered the hospital room, I saw Mom and Dad on their knees beside the bed, Mom holding my little 18-month-old brother. He had just died. Congenital heart defect. Two open heart surgeries. Stephen was in heaven.

I was left here. Ten years old. Confused and doubting, “Why did you let this happen, God? I had great plans of being a big brother.” My doubts didn’t last long as I saw my parents in deep sorrow but trusting in the God of the Universe. “He does all things well.” What great models were my mom and dad, Mike and Sherrill Roskam. What great comfort and support from the church. No glib Bible verse answers. Just availability and care. Touch without words.

Though a heart-rending circumstance, this experience totally shaped me as a person and now as a youth pastor. It showed me how the church was to function, helping prepare me to lead in the church, to minister to those who have lost loved ones. It has taught me the importance of personal touch – just being with another person. No agenda. Just loving and encouraging people.

The process of my brother’s illness and death and the aftermath has helped me see God as a loving father who embraced me when I hurt. I have seen Him use me in the lives of others, giving me confidence as a pastor. I’m valuable – even without a degree in religion. Even not being ordained. I’m out of my league. But God living and loving people through me makes me more than adequate for the task.
Nate Roskam, Youth Pastor