so the posting has had a vacation.
Would you consider helping me with a real concern I have. Christian marriages are floundering and ending in divorce at about the same pace as those who are not walking with God. There are many reasons for this but one issue that doesn't seem to get much "airtime" pertains to the role of the wife in tough love, learning to confront a husband who has a destructive attitude or behavior.
Please consider taking the time to read the next few posts as I address this issue and critique the content, sending it to rburwick@mindspring.com.
Thanks
Tough Love and the Christian Wife
How does a Christian woman relate to a husband who is in some obvious error, or sin, or personality quirk that is destructive to himself and to others? Books have been written on how to manipulate your husband through sexual favors. Other books and sermons emphasize “wives submit” to your husbands, and that is Biblical truth - in part. However the first role given to a wife, found in Genesis 2:18 was, Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” A “helper, completer.”
Obviously that role has many facets. We’re examining here the task of living with an imperfect husband. Every husband is imperfect, however there are times when his unfaced / unattended behavior becomes destructive to the family. How does a Christian wife best relate to him for his benefit first of all and then for the benefit of others, especially his family.
Men are often insensitive to how they treat their wives, sometimes “walking all over them” without realizing it. A wife who doesn’t confront this issue will be trod upon the rest of her life.
I’ve lived long enough to see the destructiveness or at best, the shallowness of man’s wisdom. Thus, these thoughts are based on Joshua 1:8 – “meditate on the Word. Do what it says. Results are prosperity and success.
So how does the Bible approach the challenge of living with a husband whose attitude or behavior is destructive? It neccesitates that he see his need. Some pertinent Scriptural advice for assisting him if he is blind to his need:
Proverbs 9:8-9 … But correct the wise, and they will love you. Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more. Proverbs 28:23 He who rebukes a man shall afterward find more favor than he who flatters with the tongue. Proverbs 29:1 Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery.
Other passages addressing the issue of facing oneself: Galatians 6:1-2; Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. Luke 17:3 So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.
A question to men: Are we missing out on a lot of successful living because we don’t encourage our wives to confront us – to give us constructive criticism?
A question to the wives: Do you nag? Or, the opposite, do you ignore, not wanting to confront because of fear of his rejection or of his anger?
More tomorrow on a wife's strategy.
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