How does a little girl, raised in a very loving, godly, hard-working Wyoming family become a woman of an unwanted divorce? Choices. Not always your own!
As Jane (not her real name) reminisced about her childhood the listener was captivated by the description of her parents. Church planters. Both hard working people. Lived on the “wrong side of the tracks” until a large, six-bedroom house was provided very economically for them. “My father’s response to the spacious gift was, ‘this is God’s house and will be used for His honor. All we have is God’s.’ When we were older and out of the home, we’d have to make an appointment with my folks if we wanted to stay over for a weekend because the bedrooms were always filled by needy people.”
On to Pasadena College, majoring in education. As a junior, married a sharp young man who was voted “song evangelist of the year” while in college. A career as a song evangelist took off along with a business acumen that acquired 16 child care centers in Detroit. But, as so often happens, success wasn’t handled very well. Money became his focus. Jane taught school while her husband became sidetracked by money and another woman. That led to legal problems, bankruptcy, prison and divorce.
“When he told me I didn’t fit into his plans anymore and continued his adultery, I felt released from the marriage. After making the decision to file for divorce, there were agonizing days of deep pain. I’d leave school and cry all the way home. My sons even said, ‘Mom, why did you do that to dad?’ Two wonderful Christian friends walked with me through the ordeal. I only made it through that time by keeping my focus on God.
“I vowed two things: that I was not going to be hurt by anyone’s words, and that I would forgive.”
Having lived the life of a single woman for 20 years, Jane looks back at how God used the painful trauma productively. “It helped me understand hurting people. I have an in depth rapport with those who have gone through significant rejection. Eighteen years ago we started Divorce Recovery. Since then, God has been able to use me in the lives of many people going through divorce. I want to share with people how they can come through their trauma triumphantly, not just survive.”
Jane’s four sons are following her Christian model and are productive followers of Jesus. She is currently singles pastor at her church providing great gain for multitudes of people, besides experiencing the gain for herself from being used by the Lord. Gain through loss.
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