It is my desire to mature in the godly attitudes directed in Scripture of “Give thanks in and for all things.” “Rejoice always.” “I will praise the Lord no matter what happens.” I yearn for a stronger grateful, rejoicing and praising-God spirit.
That spirit had a great fall recently. A fall that coincided with a literal Parkinson’s Disease drop. While standing in an antique store with cane in hand, I lost my balance and fell into some merchandise, not able to get up. Embarrassed. The previously gifted athlete had to be helped up. Instead of being grateful that I didn’t get hurt or damage any merchandise, I became sad, fearful and angry (self-pitying.) Fearful that this was just the beginning of what could be more serious Parkinson’s falls. Sad, mad and self pitying for the loss of equilibrium.
After a couple days of moroseness, it seemed God was prompting me to write a paraphrase of Habakkuk 3:17-18 and Romans 15:13, which states: “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines; though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food; though there are no sheep in the pen nor cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be joyful in God my savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him…”
My version: “Though the legs are unsteady and I lose my balance; though memory escapes me and vocabulary shortens; though my strength dissipates and shaking is uncontrollable; though movements are slow and marital intimacy affected; yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be joyful in God my Savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength. He is my God of hope, filling me with joy and peace as I trust in Him.”
Prayer followed, “Father, produce this supernatural mind set in and through me as I endeavor to focus on You and not my circumstances.”
The following day my journal read, ” I’m seeing this as a mental discipline to be thankful and rejoicing. It helps to focus on what God has already done in my life and trust Him as the Source of “all things work together for good…”
The subsequent day’s journal entry: “ Bottom line:
1. God loves me (John 3:16, Rom.8:30-39);
2. As I cooperate with Him, He works all to my good (Rom.8:28), to the good of others (Romans 12), and for His glory.
3. So, be joyful in tough times. That is where character can be built, ready for anything (Rom.5:3-5, James 1:2-4)
4. Therefore, relax in God’s love and enjoy the run!”
A spirit of joy, gratitude and praising God returned and has maintained. Through the various losses I'm encountering with Parkinson's Disease, I am gaining a deeper intimacy with Abba Papa.
That spirit had a great fall recently. A fall that coincided with a literal Parkinson’s Disease drop. While standing in an antique store with cane in hand, I lost my balance and fell into some merchandise, not able to get up. Embarrassed. The previously gifted athlete had to be helped up. Instead of being grateful that I didn’t get hurt or damage any merchandise, I became sad, fearful and angry (self-pitying.) Fearful that this was just the beginning of what could be more serious Parkinson’s falls. Sad, mad and self pitying for the loss of equilibrium.
After a couple days of moroseness, it seemed God was prompting me to write a paraphrase of Habakkuk 3:17-18 and Romans 15:13, which states: “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines; though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food; though there are no sheep in the pen nor cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be joyful in God my savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him…”
My version: “Though the legs are unsteady and I lose my balance; though memory escapes me and vocabulary shortens; though my strength dissipates and shaking is uncontrollable; though movements are slow and marital intimacy affected; yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be joyful in God my Savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength. He is my God of hope, filling me with joy and peace as I trust in Him.”
Prayer followed, “Father, produce this supernatural mind set in and through me as I endeavor to focus on You and not my circumstances.”
The following day my journal read, ” I’m seeing this as a mental discipline to be thankful and rejoicing. It helps to focus on what God has already done in my life and trust Him as the Source of “all things work together for good…”
The subsequent day’s journal entry: “ Bottom line:
1. God loves me (John 3:16, Rom.8:30-39);
2. As I cooperate with Him, He works all to my good (Rom.8:28), to the good of others (Romans 12), and for His glory.
3. So, be joyful in tough times. That is where character can be built, ready for anything (Rom.5:3-5, James 1:2-4)
4. Therefore, relax in God’s love and enjoy the run!”
A spirit of joy, gratitude and praising God returned and has maintained. Through the various losses I'm encountering with Parkinson's Disease, I am gaining a deeper intimacy with Abba Papa.
22 comments:
How blessed I was to read your story of life with Parkinson's. My husband had it for 17 yrs and he didn't share his feelings and fears. I encourage you to never stop communicating with your wife even if your speech becomes difficult. Let her serve you because she is serving the Lord. Cry together over the losses as the physical body changes and I know our Abba Father will dry your tears and replace them with joy. Be not too proud to accept help when needed. Know that at somepoint, your precious wife will need a little respite time. She will return refreshed and with a heart flowing with love. God bless you both as you walk this path holding Jesus's hand.
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