Anger 17 - The Gift part 2

For many years I sat in the counselor's chair hearing the devastation of unresolved anger. Ruined health. Torn apart relationships. I didn't see the value of the gift of anger because of the overriding destructiveness of most anger.

Anger can be good news if we view the potential benefits of it. We'll finish today the gift of anger, beginning with: it can reveal a manipulative spirit.

Are you manipulating through anger to get your way? Results vary. Sometimes manipulation can achieve temporary benefits. An angry, manipulative voice can make its recipient submit to the order. The outcome is usually counterproductive, in that long lasting behavioral change rarely takes place.

Reveals guilt
This can be so subtle. The ultimate guilt situations I’ve seen are those people who have walked closely with God but in later years drift and sometimes declare “there is no God.” I found this especially true while doing research on why pastors’ children abuse drugs and alcohol.
A high percentage of these kids, even exposed to the Gospel, claimed they had no guilt during their chemical-abusive experience. Invariably, this person had wandered into a little disobedience to God’s guidelines. The wandering evolves into a considerable prodigal behavior. To justify the behavior, the person begins to question if there is God. To avoid the pang of conscious guilt, declaration is made, “There is no God.” And anger toward parents was often a camouflage, hiding the real issue - guilt.

Reveals fear
Fear of losing control of a situation.
Fear of not being in control.
Fear of losing a person’s love.
Fear of the future.
Fear of powerlessness.

Reveals distorted self esteem
Feelings of inadequacy, inferiority and insecurity are, in my opinion, the second leading cause of destructive anger. Just as an auctioneer cries out the value of an item to potential buyers, so do we esteem the value of our being, evaluating how interpersonal interchanges effect our sense of well being. Much like fear, in our insecurity we become threatened by a person or situation, triggering an anger episode.
Like the insecure husband/father who is easily angered when family doesn’t jump his hoops.



Reveals self-centeredness
The numero uno, number one, cause of unhealthy anger: I’m not getting my way at the time I desire it. Selfishness. We all have it. We all do it. For some, it grows worse during the aging process. We’ve all seen the crotchety old people who are quick to bite others’ heads off. Others mellow out, become more comfortable with themselves and life.
They’ve learned that richness of life comes from giving and not getting.
They’ve allowed the hard knocks of life to make them better instead of bitter. Selfishness diminishes with maturation. Less about which to be angry.

The gift of anger.
It’s not that we try hard not to be angry. Instead, we use our anger productively.
We can learn much about ourselves at the moment of anger or in retrospect as the flames have cooled and we think through it more logically.
What kind of anger was that?
What have I learned about myself because of it?
Am I processing it appropriately?
How will I be a better person?
How can I prepare for a similar situation in the future?

Stick with me as we move on to the next section of study, “the remedy” for anger.

Prayer:
Father, instead of denying anger, instead of feeling guilty about anger, instead of allowing anger to control me, please empower me to see anger as a gift from which I can learn and be a more productive person for others and for myself.