ANGER 9 Distortions part 3

We've looked at four distorted ways of handling anger. The last distortion is Venting - a lashing out, explosive means of expressing anger.

On a web site, Sera describes hers: “My anger sometimes isolates me, by ruining relationships with the very people that I love the most. It keeps me from getting close to someone when I know I really would like to know them better. It keeps me from opening up and
sharing my real feelings. Then the anger just builds up more and more until it is finally let out, and then shocks everyone, because they never knew I felt that way.

“I have a great deal of trouble letting go of my anger. I know I need to,
but it's terribly difficult to do so. I know my anger just builds up and harms
me emotionally, but still I find it hard to let go of the anger and accept that
I need to try and move on. I never know when it'll happen. One moment I
feel well, and the next my anger becomes overwhelming. Hopefully,
as time goes on, the anger will subside.”

Venting anger in a lashing out fashion is probably healthier for the body but that method of anger expression has two downsides. Relationships are certainly battered (as Sera described); and, research indicates that the more one vents anger, the stronger is the tendency to be even more angry.

Will Rogers describes venting this way: “People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.”

Anger buried, canned, transferred, camouflaged and vented - all distortions that lead to unhealthy relationships and unhealthy living in general. How do these twists come about? Where does anger distortion begin? That is our next topic.