God, Are You Listening

Was God listening to me when I prayed for healing of my stuttering and I wasn’t healed? Some might accuse me for harboring sin in my life and that blocked the healing. Others have told me I just didn’t have enough faith. My interpretation, as mentioned in the last post: God gave me the best gift of stuttering rather than the good gift of fluent speech.

I look at my Parkinson’s disease in the same manner. Is the gift of Parkinson’s a better gift at this time then healing? As I’ve asked of God for wisdom regarding this. It seems that He is telling me to accept the "valley venture" and see the value of what I'm experiencing.

1. As I keep a positive attitude, I can have a positive influence on others to trust God in their challenging circumstances. (You may not have PD but all of us have some kind of adversity.) This positive attitude is not based on the “power of positive thinking” but on God’s promise in Romans 8:28: We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
PD, though humiliating and debilitating, is being worked by God for my good and the good of others.

2. It deepens dependency on God for that John 15 intimate connection (branch and vine). "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.

3. My pace has slowed dramatically because of PD, which made taking care of my 92-year-old parents more acceptable, (who lived with us for a time.)

4. PD shaking often signals a stress focus: not at peace, a tension, an inadequacy, a self focus.

5. PD is definitely a humbling agent. I shake. I walk funny. I’m very slow moving. Memory is fading. I lose my balance. My wife is physically stronger than me.
James 4:6 … Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."
And Proverbs 22: 4 Humility and the fear of the LORD bring wealth and honor and life. And Micah 6: And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
The dictionary defines humility as “to show awareness of one’s short comings…deeply respectful.” Through awareness of weakness, one turns to God more quickly.
“…My (Christ’s) grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
A teachable attitude is one by-product of humility. One never stops learning and growing who possesses a teachable attitude.

6. In a moment of contemplative prayer, God spoke, saying to me: “I am breaking and purging the idolatry of performance orientation for approval.” Since boyhood I have compensated for feelings of inferiority by performing – being the best I could be at music and sports especially, and later in my coaching and counseling professions. Nothing is wrong with desiring success, for wanting to do well. In fact Colossians 3:23 states, Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.
I thought I was working for the Lord; however, it has become apparent that my motivation was contaminated with, “Hey, world, notice me. Tell me I’m okay. Approve of me.” The idolatry of performance orientation for approval is not only stressful on the body and mind, but it also negates the “working for the Lord.” I inadvertently wanted glory for myself. Isaiah 48:11 God says, I will not yield my glory to another.

7. The James 1:2-4 character building is in process.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
As I accept PD with a joyful spirit, character qualities mature.

8. PD has aided my desire to have a more in-depth prayer life.
Many Christian leaders say that the most important thing a Believer can do is to pray.

9. It is a testing of my faith. 1 Peter 1:6-7 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

10. PD makes me hyper-sensitive to what is going on within me – greater awareness of destructive thoughts, attitudes, emotions, a lack of trust in God. I’m more quickly motivated to resolve the negative happening within.

11. The PD stripping of strength and energy makes my need for intimacy with God more consistent and significant. Isaiah 40:28-31 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Mrs. Charles Cowman addresses the significance of exchanging our weakness with His strength in “Thankful for the Thorns” from Streams in the Desert.
"The literal translation of this verse gives a startling emphasis to it, and makes it speak for itself with a force that we have probably never realized. Here It is: Therefore I take pleasure in being without strength… for when I am without strength, then am I dynamite.
Here is the secret of Divine all-sufficiency, to come to the end of everything in ourselves and in our circumstances. When we reach this place, we will stop asking for sympathy because of our hard situation or bad treatment, for we will recognize these things as the very conditions of our blessing, and we will turn from them to God and find in them a claim upon Him.” --A. B. Simpson

“George Matheson, the well-known blind preacher of Scotland, who recently went to be with the Lord, said: "My God, I have never thanked Thee for my thorn. I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but not once for my thorn. I have been looking forward to a world where I shall get compensation for my cross; but I have never thought of my cross as itself a present glory. Teach me the glory of my cross; teach me the value of my thorn. Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbows."

12. Without hope it is easy to become depressed and sick.
Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
I don’t have a certainty that God will respond to my petition to heal me. He may. He may not. When the PD symptoms worsen, I sometimes get discouraged. If I allow myself to maintain that attitude, I become depressed, which adds to the biological depression that is associated with PD. My only hope is found in Romans 15:13: May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Knowing God loves me and wants the best for me is my hope.

“The God of hope.” And because of that hope in Him, I can experience ALL joy and peace AS I TRUST IN HIM. The source of all joy and peace is the God of hope producing in me an overflowing hope, not only by my choosing that mind set, but BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.

My prayer often sounds something like this: “Father, I’m discouraged. Even the mistake-ridden typing of this material with a lethargic left hand is frustrating. You’ve given me no indication that you will heal me. The progression of PD is sometimes overwhelming. Hopeless. However, I want to remind myself that as I place my trust in You, You are my hope. You desire to fill me with joy, peace and an overflowing hope, not by my power of positive thinking but by the power of Your Holy Spirit. In my own strength I am powerless (hopeless) to accomplish this. You are able, Father. Thank you and praise your glorious name.”

13. Then, there is heaven. Though I don’t have a death-wish, heaven is becoming more appealing. Colossians 3:1-2 states, Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Paul reminds us in Philippians1:21-23 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far…
The tendency is to not think about heaven when all on earth is going well. When we do think of heaven our thoughts are often best summarized by John Eldredge in The Journey of Desire. “Nearly every Christian I have spoken with has some idea that eternity is an unending church service. We have settled on an image of the never-ending sing-along in the sky, one great hymn after another, forever and ever, amen. And our heart sinks. Forever and ever? That’s it? That’s the good news? And then we sigh and feel guilty that we are not more ‘spiritual.’ We lose heart, and we turn once more to the present to find what life we can.”

My objective: think about the glories of heaven, but focus on living with and for God now.

What is your adversity? Your challenge in living? Are you doing what you can to change the changeable and trusting God to use the unchangeable for your good, the good of others and for His glory? That attitude certainly removes a lot of intrinsic stress!