Listen verses Speak

The New Living Translation lists the word “listen” 584 times. The word “hear” is listed 1480 times. A grand total of 2064 references. Contrast this to the words “speak” and “talk: 590 times. The old adage rings true, “you have two ears and one tongue. Act accordingly.”

The question arises, “What is so important about listening?” Listening seems not to be a natural strength of most people. Our minds are busy. Noise distracts. Goals consume our thinking. We’d prefer talking over listening. We think ahead to what we’ll say rather than pay attention to whom we should be listening.

Before we enter the mystical realm of God/man communication, examine with me briefly the horizontal – one human listening to another .

Listening is not just hearing, it is actively participating in the conversation with your full concentration, willing to put your response on hold.. Listening is an ability and a skill that can be improved on; all it takes is desire and intentionality. Focus.

When we are listened to, something in our mental processing becomes stimulated. Ideas grow. Creative thinking expands. We think more appropriately positive about ourselves. When I listen, people enjoy being with me because most like to talk, especially about themselves. Others do their thinking out loud and formulate ideas verbally. In listening I “co-create” with them. I learn about them to build relationship. I learn from them – their mistakes not to repeat, their victories to emulate.

As we listen to our friends, our spouse, to our parents, our children, to those we love and to those we prefer not being around, we benefit. An atmosphere of respect, trust and honor is created. In that environment, affirmation, understanding, appreciation and validation is fostered. When we are truly being listened to, our self esteem ratchets up a good notch or two.

When we demonstrate effort and commitment in our relationships, they flourish. When neglected or abandoned, they suffer and decline. Listening plays a significant role in building a relational connection. The relationship between a husband and wife is as good as their ability to listen. Leadership in the church is as good as the ability to listen.

The words that we hear are not as important as the care and effort put into them; the effect of listening is that the words are not all of the meaning of the message. The primary focus in communication is the hearer and receiver of the communication and how he receives the message. That means the care demonstrated in listening is usually more important than hearing the words. How we listen shows where our interests are and how important that person is to us.

It has been said that the true listener is much more beloved than the talker, and he/she is more effective and learns more and does more good.

In tomorrow's post we begin looking at the topic "listening to God."