We've looked at the forgiving process beginning with the word awareness, then proceeded to praying for the desire to forgive (the one who has hurt us so deeply). Last post began with the decision to forgive. Let's finish the decision factor today.
Once in a while you may think that the forgiving process is complete, when months or even years later an aching reoccurs. "Oh, no, I thought I had dealt with that. Does this mean I haven't forgiven at all?"
No. It seems that there are situations where God says, "I'll give you as much awareness of an excruciating event as I know you can handle. (I Cor. 10:13) You and I will work on forgiving and later I'll make you aware of a deeper level of anguish and we'll continue the forgiving process at a deeper level."
FORGIVE! Jesus commands it, Paul emphasizes it and looking at ourselves selfishly, it's good for us. The other person might not deserve your forgiving - but you do. So much of what we see in the counseling office - depression, anxiety, family problems and on and on is tied so closely to an unforgiving, vengeful spirit. As a Chinese proverb suggests:" One who pursues revenge should dig two graves." For your own mental, emotional, physical, spiritual freedom - forgive.
Forgive? Burwick, you're kidding. And I share an excerpt from my book, Good and Mad:
"There is no way I can forgive my stepfather," said a young woman sitting in my office. "I wish God would burn him in hell, and before he does, I hope he will do everything to him that he did to me. I can't pick up a coat hanger without remembering the times he beat me with hangers. I can't touch water to my face without remembering the times he held my head under water until I would submit to his cruel sexual advances.
"Forgive him? You're kidding. I want him to be displayed in pornography like he did me. I want him to experience the sexual brutality he gave me that even now prohibits me from bearing children.
"I want his teeth broken off at the roots by a phone being smashed into his face like he did to me...tied to a bed with scalding water thrown on him...taken to the woods to stand naked for hours...burnt with cigarettes, pushed down the stairs... kept prisoner in his house for ten years without a friend...and more that is too cruel and lewd to mention here...like he did me. How can I but hate him?
"I want him to experience what I am going through now: the overwhelming fears, depression, panic attacks, loss of memory, nightmares. I want a psychiatrist to tell him he'll have to spend weeks in a mental hospital. And you say I have to forgive him? He deserves more than the seven years in prison he got. He deserves hell."
You're the counselor. What would your reactions be? Part of me wanted to weep for Gail. Part of me wanted to strangle that animal stepfather. Yet God says, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay."
My vengance would be puny and weak compared to God's. Consider how God repays evil described in Isaiah 25:10-11 The hand of the LORD will rest on this mountain; but Moab will be trampled under him as straw is trampled down in the manure. They will spread out their hands in it, as a swimmer spreads out his hands to swim. God will bring down their pride despite the cleverness of their hands.
Now folks I have mucked my horse stalls, standing in manure and shavings with rubber boots. Think of what it would be like to be trampled under foot of horses in a manure pile so deep it was like you were swimming in it. Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, I will repay.
You might not have a Gail experience, but let's make sure the forgiving of your situation is as complete as God has revealed. So complete that you can pray for a heart of love for the offender. Tender love that prays for blessing and tough love that may need to set boundaries to prevent further abuse.
No comments:
Post a Comment