ck yard. (During the summer! )We began the forgiving process in yesterday's post and left off with "what if you don't feel like forgiving." (We've all been there, haven't we?)
From awareness of what needs forgiving, we move to step two:
Prayer for the desire to forgive. It is not our natural response to want to forgive, especially the deep hurts inflicted by someone significant to us - a relative or close friend. But God is in the business of life-changing and will soften our heart to help us want to forgive. Philippians 2:13 says, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
Prayer for the desire to forgive. It is not our natural response to want to forgive, especially the deep hurts inflicted by someone significant to us - a relative or close friend. But God is in the business of life-changing and will soften our heart to help us want to forgive. Philippians 2:13 says, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
To help ourselves with the desire to forgive, it is appropriate to see how much God has forgiven us, because the capacity to forgive is rooted in His forgiveness of us.
If I find a person who is still hung up in this area of desiring to forgive, a couple suggestions are offered.
1. Endeavor to sense the other person's neediness. People who hurt, hurt people. To discern his pain can soften the heart to want to forgive him for the pain he inflicted on you.
Caution: don't do this too quickly in the forgiving process, lest it become a rationalizing tool to avoid facing pain. Make sure your own anguish has been thoroughly felt before seeing the hurt in the offender.
2. See the value of the pain in your life. If according to Romans 8:28, everything is to work out for our good, then asking God how He wants to use the pain as some good gift will help transform the resentful focus toward the offender. As Joseph said to his cruel brothers: "what you meant for evil, God planned for good." This brings a change in focus toward the offender.
During the initial stages of forgiving, we usually don’t “feel like it.” However, no matter the feelings, we can make the choice to forgive. When Mrs. Washington embraced the prisoner who killed her daughter, she did it choosing to follow Christ versus her feelings. Paul adds to his Colossians 3 directive with Eph 4:31-32 "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."NIV
More in tomorrow's post of how to want to forgive another who has hurt us deeply.
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