Identity: Forgivness - 5

A church in Puerto Vallarta.

We left off in Friday's post with: "Forgiving is not placing blame, not condoning or denying. It is not necessarily reconciliation." Today we'll begin the exploration of that most difficult task - forgiving.

Launching the quest we view Christ's words in Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

If forgiveness of our sins took place at the cross, how can it be said our sins won't be forgiven if we don't forgive. Could it mean that if we don't forgive, we're not going to sense God's forgiveness for our sins? This is one of the crucial motivations for us to be forgiving those who have wronged us - to sense forgiveness for our own sins !

What is forgiveness? After working through deep pain in her own life and having worked with scores of abused women, my first wife Ann defined forgiving this way: "I bear the reality of the hurt and I choose to hold it against him no longer." I cancel a debt that is real and treacherous. Mercy is extended to the offender who caused my severe wound. Justice is left up to God, because He says vengeance is His, He will repay.

Forgiving is vital to the healing of an inflicted wound. Complete healing comes through the destruction of any self-protective defenses (that we've described in what forgiving is not) and a deep forgiving that depends on changing rationally, visually and emotionally. We'll emphasize this later.

Chuck Colson tells the story about a Mrs. Washington who, during a graduation ceremony for inmates completing a Prison Fellowship program, swept to the stage to wrap her arms around a graduating inmate, declaring "this young man is my adopted son." Everyone had tears in their eyes for they knew that this young man was behind bars for the murder of Mrs. Washington's daughter.

Phillip Yancey wrote: "Forgiveness is another way of admitting, 'I'm human, I make mistakes, I want to be granted that privilege and so I grant you that privilege.' "
Forgiveness cancels a debt someone owes us and can possibly restore relationship. It is the only solution in a world ridden with sin and evil to help us start over with people and with God.

We learn about real forgiveness at the foot of the cross where Jesus Christ shed His blood to pay for the sins of the whole world (for mine, for yours). That is God's kind of forgiveness- - free, sacrificial, no cost on our part. Just accepting it with a repentant heart. Experiencing His forgiveness prompts us to obey Him like Mrs. Washington extended her forgiveness to another.

So, how do we practically forgive someone who has hurt us? Tomorrow's post will be "Steps to Forgivingness. "