The Process of Forgiving Oneself

My wife Theresa with daughter Kristin

One last thought regarding forgiveness. While teaching on forgiving others at the Nampa Lighthouse Mission, I was hit with many of the men saying, "The person I have the hardest time forgiving is myseslf." Many of them have hurt their families with their drugs and prison time. So I did some quick studying. Here are the results compiled in hand out form.

The Process of Forgiving Oneself

1. Repent
A. To God
By word (prayer) Psalm 51:1-3, 7,10,12

By action (turn a 180 degree)
Join with a prayer partner – James 5:16

B. To the other person
Ask forgiveness
Make amends, restitution

2. Accept God’s forgiveness
Isaiah 1:16-20 ­­­­­­­­

Matthew 26:28
1 John 1:9

Psalm 103:12
Romans 8:1

3. Forgive others.
“I can’t forgive myself” is sometimes displaced resentment. Another person has not been forgiven so that unforgiving spirit is redirected back on yourself. If I’m not forgiving another, I may not sense God’s forgiveness of my sin. Guilt!

4. Look in the mirror daily
God forgave Moses for murder, David for adultry and murder, Abraham for lying about his wife placing her in jeopardy, and Paul for murdering Christians – not only forgave them but used them greatly in His kingdom work. If God forgives (according to #2 above), who are you not to forgive yourself. By not forgiving self you’re placing yourself above God. Talk that way to ourself in the mirror each day until resolved.

5. Realize the potential gain for the person(s) you have wronged.
2Corinthians 12:9-10 tells us that our weakness can be made strong through God’s empowerment. This is no excuse for the wrong committed (that has caused weakness in the offended person(s), but that they have a choice to exchange their weakness for God’s strength – to be blessed and to be a blessing.