Identity - Forgiveness Summarized

Sunset in Puerto Vallarta

Encapsulating the last 12 posts, Forgiving
1. is one of the most difficult challenges we'll pursue, requiring an aggressive, daily commitment.
2. is commanded by Jesus (Matt.6:15).

3. is not condoning, rationalizing, denying or avoiding.
4. involves the whole person - visual, emotional, rational, spiritual, memory, morality, ethics, willing to see our own need for forgiveness and understanding of and desire for right relationships.

5. transforms focus from the offender's inflicted pain to how God has used the wound as a source of value - a benefit.
6. slowly transforms our character to the image of Christ.
7. is an ongoing process the rest of our lives.

You may wonder what happened to Gail (the lady badly abused by her step father). In her forgiving process she called her stepfather who lived in Australia.
She relates: "I was scared to death. What would I hear on the other end of the line? Would I receive a blast of dirty profanity? I said,'hello, Jim, this is Gail'. He very nearly came through the phone.
"Oh Gail. It is so good to hear you. I've spent thousands of dollars on private investigators, trying to locate you. I've become a Christian and I do so much need you to forgive me for the terrible way I treated you. I'll do anything. My weekly paycheck is yours for the rest of my life if that would bring about your forgiveness.

"Ray, he was in tears," she said. "As we talked, it seemed as if a dark, oppressing cloud lifted from me. We hung up, and immediately I saw a coat hangar in my room. I could pick up that hangar without the terrible memories reappeariong of the scores of times he had beaten me with a coat hangar. Tonight I'm going to take my first bath in 17 years." She had showered, but hadn't been able to bathe because of the memories of being held under water until she would yield to his cruel, selfish demands.
Freedom.

Not all my clients had such a dramatic story and for some reconciliation never occurs because the offender is unrepentant. But, no matter what the offender's response, for our own health, we must forgive.

Anyone you need to forgive?
Matthew 6:12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.