Identity: Forgiveness - 4

An unusual amount of snow in Nampa. Our backyard.

We've looked at some of the devasation of an unforgiving spirit. However that usually isn't sufficient motivation to forgive because we’re just not quick to want to forgive. Rather we use Self-protective Devises.

Before we look at what forgiving is, let's look in more detail at what forgiving is not.

Forgiving is not:
1. Condemning - "Oh, you want me to blame my parents for..." is often the initial response to exploring sources of emotional pain. The counselor's reply: "No we're not here to blame anyone, but to face realistically what happened and what your response has been." We assign responsibility - theirs and ours.

2. Condoning\intellectualizing (admitting an action was wrong but downplaying its destructiveness). One might say, "Dad beat me but his dad beat him worse than what I received."

3. Denial - trying to forget. "Ah, no big deal. Other people have it worse. Forget it."

4. Reconciliation. Forgiving and reconciliation are two separate issues that we'll explore later. Forgiving is not placing blame, not condoning or denying. It is not necessarily reconciliation.

Our next post will begin to examine what forgiving is. Oh OOO, a dangling participle!